Imagine a person that from a very young age
was fed a very strong narcotic.
Its effects are so strong
that almost everything that the man does
is intended to get him another dose of the drug.
When he finally gets his dose,
he feels happy and fulfilled,
is in a great state of mind.
However, a lack of the drug
causes frustration and depression.
It just so happens
that we are all dependent on that drug.
That drug is the need
for approval, respect and love from other people.
You are enslaved,
because you need the approval of other people.
You are easily controlled.
Don't believe me?
Test it on your friend.
When you see him, tell them:
"You look great! Did you lose weight? You look 10 years younger"
Guess how he'll react.
You can also guess how he would react
if you were to criticize them.
One day a professor said in his lecture
that most people allow others to
control their frame of mind by only using their words.
After this comment,
one of the students stood up and said:
"That's not true! I can't be controlled that way."
The professor then responded:
"Shut up and sit down, you idiot!"
And then it began...
"How dare you say that to me?
You call yourself a professor?"
The professor started apologizing
and saying that he crossed the line.
The student quickly calmed down.
After a while the professor said:
"See? It only took a few words to make you furious
and another few to calm you down
and you say you can't be controlled?"
You can say that it's human behavior.
That's just how people are.
But is it actually true?
Is it really human
to be a little monkey controlled by everyone around?
People who do that are like robots.
You press a compliment button
and the robot immediately reacts -
- it's happy and pleased.
Then you press the criticism button -
- the robot is crushed. Its whole day is ruined.
Do you want to know what human behavior means?
There once was an elderly man.
Every morning he walked to the store
to buy a newspaper.
The seller was always rude to him.
Sometimes you didn't answer to his "Good morning!",
others he mumbled something fussily.
One day the elderly man's son notice the way
his father was getting treated and said to him:
"Why do you keep buying your newspaper
in a place where the seller is so rude to you?
Why can't you go to the kiosk nearby?"
The man answered:
"Why should he decide where I buy my newspaper?"
Does this mean that it's possible
to be completely resistant to the words of other people?
Yes.
How you achieve that?
The first step is to understand
that you don't need other people in order to be happy.
Of course, we're all dependent on each other
on the levels of our interest.
That's how society works.
You need a baker, doctor or police officer.
This kind of dependence is ok.
But it's not true when they say that you need your family,
friends, boyfriend or girlfriend in order to be happy.
You can think about that.
One young woman
was in a relationship with an attractive man.
She was deeply in love,
but one day they broke up
and it caused her a lot of pain.
She believed that he made her happy
and now that he's gone
it's impossible to be happy again.
However, time passed
and she got back into a normal life.
She was happy once again.
Just like the way she was before she met him.
It turned out that she did not need him to be happy.
This applies to other things.
You don't need success, money, respect
for recognition from other people to be happy.
You don't need to be loved either.
You need to love.
Yes, it's a natural need,
but you can live without the love
and affection of other people.
Second, be aware of what goes on around you.
When you experience negative emotions during
contact with other people,
realize that it's your own business, not theirs.
You don't have to accept anything they say.
Observe your own and their behavior
as if you were standing on the side.
Don't take anything personally.
When the desperate need to be liked, respected and
wanted by other ppl disappears,
nothing will be able to hurt you anymore.
You will be free.
To achieve this, you don't need any effort.
You just need to understand.
Start today and observe yourself
as if you're standing on the side.
Notice the things that make you mad or sad,
notice when other people take control over your emotions.
Be aware of it all.
If you want to check how confident and aware you are,
please go to my website www.robertmarchel.com
and take a short and completely free test.
Thanks for watching!
If you'd like to see more movies like this in the future,
please subscribe to my channel
and like my facebook page.
See you you next week!
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