>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME RICKY GERVAIS.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
>> HELLO.
>> Stephen: HELLO.
>> HI.
>> Stephen: PEOPLE ARE VERY EXCITED TO SEE YOU.
YOU GOT A STANDING OVATION.
NOT EVERYBODY GETS THAT >> I'M VERY EXCITED TO SEE THEM.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR THE ARM YANK OVER THERE.
DOES THAT NOT TELL YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW
ABOUT DONALD TRUMP?
>> OOOH!
( LAUGHTER ) I WASN'T POLITICAL TILL ABOUT
SIX MONTHS AGO.
I WASN'T INTERESTED IN POLITICS.
BUT NOW I'M JUST FASCINATED.
LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT HIM THOUGH.
>> Stephen: THAT'S FINE.
LET'S TALK ABOUT YOU.
YOU'RE MORE INTERESTING.
>> I'M NOT.
THAT'S THE-- IT'S JUST-- ( LAUGHTER )
HE IS FASCINATING-- WELL, HE'S GOT MORE IN COMMON WITH DAVID
BRENT THAN SOMEONE LIKE J.F.K.
DAVID BRENT WANTS TO BE FAMOUS AND LOVED AND HE'D DO ANYTHING--
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
>> Stephen: HE SEEMS VERY FRAGILE.
>> BUT DAVID BRENT IS SORT OF LIKE AN OLD-- THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN "THE OFFICE" AND THIS MOVIE, IS THE WORLD HAS CHANGED
IN 15 YEARS.
IT'S MUCH HARSHER, AND SO BACK THEN, DAVID BRENT SEEMED LEAK A
BIT OF AN IDEA AND HE WAS LIKE A NARCISSIST.
IT WAS ON A REALITY SHOW.
BUT BY TODAY'S STANDARDS, HE'S NOT THAT BAD BECAUSE THERE'S A
NEW-- DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
THERE'S A NEW FAME, THERE'S A NEW-- PEOPLE DO ANYTHING TO BE
FAMOUS.
THEY WOULD DO ANYTHING TO BE FAMOUS.
AND WE'VE HAD THINGS LIKE "THE APPRENTICE" WHERE PEOPLE GET ON
IT BY SAYING, "I WOULD DESTROY ANYONE WHO STANDS IN MY WAY."
THERE IS A NEW SORT OF ALPHA MAN OUT THERE.
IT'S QUITE SAD.
>> Stephen: DAVID BRENT IS AN ALPHA MALE?
>> NO, HE'S NOT.
>> Stephen: HE WANTS TO SEEM LIKE AN ALPHA MALE.
>> HE SEEMS A BIT HELPLESS BECAUSE HE'S 55 DISPP NOW HE'S A
TAMPON REP, AND HE WANTS TO BE A ROCK STAR LIKE EVERYONE DOES,
AND HE'S HEMORRHAGING CASH AND HE PUTS A BAND TOGETHER AND HE
GOES ON THE ROAD.
AND IT'S REALLY TRAGIC.
BUT HE JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED, DEEP DOWN, JUST LIKE DONALD
TRUMP.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen:, YOU KNOW, I THINK SO, TOO.
I THINK THAT'S WHY HE'S YANKING MERRICK GARLAND INTO THE PHOTO,
STAND NEXT TO ME.
>> HE GOES ON TWITTER AND SAYS THINGS LIKE, "EVERYONE LOVES ME.
I WAS THE BEST."
HE'S LIKE A 10-YEAR-OLD.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
>> Stephen: YEAH, YEAH.
>> IT'S CRAZY.
>> Stephen: THE 10-YEAR-OLD WITH THE LAUNCH CODES.
>> THAT'S THE WORRYING THING, ISN'T IT?
HE HAS GOT THOSE, HASN'T HE?
MAYBE THEY'VE GIVEN HIM FAKE ONES.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS ) THEY MUST HAVE.
>> Stephen: JUST A BIG-- THEY JUST-- JUST A BIG SHINY RED
BUTTON THAT'S ATTACHED TO NOTHING.
>> THERE'S TWO.
THERE'S A SHINY RED BUTTON AND THERE'S A BLUE BOTON, AND ONE'S
FOR PIZZA LIKE THAT AND THE OTHER ONE DOESN'T REALLY WORK.
>> Stephen: SPEAK OF PEOPLE-- >> YOU JUST BLEW UP CHINA,
MR. TRUMP.
"GOOD, GOOD."
AND HE THINKS HE'S DOING ALL THIS STUFF BUT HE ISN'T REALLY.
THAT WOULD BE GOOD.
>> Stephen: THAT WOULD BE NICE.
THAT WOULD BE NICE.
IT'S NOT TRUE, BUT IT WOULD BE NICE.
NOW, SPEAKING OF PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BE ROCK STARS, SOME PEOPLE
OUT THERE MAY ALREADY KNOW THIS-- MAY I SHOW THIS?
>> SURE.
>> Stephen: THIS IS A PICTURE OF YOU-- HOW LONG AGO?
1983.
OKAY.
( WHISTLE ) THIS IS YOU AND A GUY NAMED BILL
McCRAE IN A BAND CALLED SHAWNA DANCING.
IT WAS AN ACTUAL BAND.
>> IT WAS AN ACTUAL BAND.
>> Stephen: DID YOU HAVE A HIT?
>> NO, NEARLY.
IT WAS NOON 83-- I'M A FINE OLD ROCK STAR.
THANKS FOR BRINGING IT UP.
BUT IT'S 30 YEARS AGO.
THIS THING ONLY COMES OUT NOW BECAUSE I'M FAMOUS FOR SOMETHING
ELSE.
AND THEY BRING IT OUT AND GO, "LOOK AT YOU."
PEOPLE THINK I'M EMBARRASSED ABOUT HOW I LOOKED THEN.
I AM EXWARLSED HOW I LOOK NOW.
>> Stephen: I DIDN'T BRING TOUT TO EMBARRASS YOU.
THIS STH WHO DAVID BRENT THINKS HE IS?
>> DAVID BRENT-- NO, WE DIDN'T MAKE IT.
WE RELEASE AID FEW SINGERS AND THEN A GOT AN A NORMAL JOB IN AN
OFFICE FOR 10 YEARS WHICH IS WHAT "THE OFFICE" IS BASED ON.
YOU USE ALL EXPERIENCES, GOOD AND BAD PICHES AID FAIL
MUSICIAN, SO I FUSED THE TWO.
THERE WERE THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THE FILM THAT HAPPENED TO ME.
I REMEMBER IN 1985, WE DID A GIG, AND WE DID THE SOUND CHECK,
AND THE GUY SAID, "YOU MIGHT AS WELL STAY UP THERE, BECAUSE
YOU'RE ON NOW."
AND I SAID, "WHEN ARE THEY OPENING THE DOORS TO LET PEOPLE
IN?" THEY SAID, "THEY'RE OPEN.
NO ONE'S COME THROUGH TO SEE YOU."
I SAID, "OH, LET'S TREAT IT LIKE A FREE REHEARSAL."
AND WE JUST PLAYED 10 SONGS TO NO ONE.
IT WAS ANSWER ZEN.
BUT YOU TAKE THOSE WITH YOU.
AND IN THE FILM, OBVIOUSLY, DAVID BRENT, HE'S HIRED THESE
VENUES AND HE'S TRYING TO GET PEOPLE TO COME BUT IT'S QUITE
SAD THIS FILM.
BUT IT'S FUNNY.
IT'S REALLY FUN NEA TRAGIC WAY.
>> Stephen: IT'S COMPLETELY FUNNY.
>> THERE'S NOTHING FUNNIER THAN MIDDLE-AGED MEN TRYING TO BE
COOL.
I JUST SAW YOU DANGS AND IT WAS-- HONESTLY.
>> Stephen: I WAS TRYING MY HARDEST.
I WAS TRYING MY HARDEST.
>> YOU DREAMED OF BEING A DANCER, DON'T YOU.
>> Stephen: A LITTLE BIT.
>> IT LOOKS LIKE ONE OF THE MUPPETS HAVING A GO.
>> Stephen: IF ONLY, IF ONLY I COULD HAVE SOMEONE'S HAND UP MY
ASS MAKING ME DO THAT.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> TONIGHT, STEPHEN.
( LAUGHTER ) YOUR DREAM HAS COME TRUE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: SPEAK OF--
SPEAKING OF WHICH, THIS IS KIND OF LIKE IT, YOU-- YOU DO MANAGE
TO GET PEOPLE UPSET AT YOU, SOMETIMES.
YOU SAID THERE WAS NO SOCIAL MEDIA WHEN DAVID BRENT WAS
AROUND THE FIRST TIME.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: BUT YOU GO ON SOCIAL MEDIA OR AT LEAST GET
ATTACKED ON SOCIAL MEDIA SOMETIMES.
WE HEARD ABOUT THIS.
WE ASKED YOU TO-- MAY I SHOW THIS?
>> YEAH.
BECAUSE-- CAN I READ IT?
CAN I INTERESTED FIRST?
>> Stephen: WHAT IS THE STORY BEHIND THIS PARTICULAR TWEET?
>> SO I GO ON SOCIAL MEDIA, AND I LIKE TO-- I LIKE TO TALK ABOUT
SCIENCE AND STUFF, AND SOMETIMES FACTS ANNOY PEOPLE.
( LAUGHTER ) AND THE FACTS-- PEOPLE,
CREATIONISTS WHO BELIEVE THE EARTH IS, LIKE, 5,000 YEARS OLD.
>> Stephen: 6,000 YEARS OLD.
>> SORRY, SORRY, MY BAD.
RIGHT.
( LAUGHTER ) I LIKE TO SAY THINGS LIKE,
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY EARTH, 4.6 BILLION YEARS OLD TODAY."
SO THIS GUY CAME OUT-- IT'S A GENTLEMAN-- I LOOKED AT HIS
OTHER TWEETS.
HE'S A GENTLEMAN FROM TEXAS.
I WON'T SAY HIS NAME.
HE'S BEEN EMBARRASSED ENOUGH I JUST RETWEETED IT.
AND HE GOT VERY, VERY ANGRY.
YOU COULD SEE HE WAS MAD BECAUSE IT'S ALL IN CAPITALS.
EVERYONE-- MAD PEOPLE -- >> Stephen: IT'S WRITTEN ON
THE BACK SO PEOPLE CAN SEE.
CAN WE DO THIS?
>> SURE SO-- LET ME READ IT.
I-- I-- I WANT YOU TO SAVOR IT.
OKAY, OKAY.
"YOUR SCIENCE" MY SCIENCE AND SCIENCE IS SPELL SCIENTS,
SCIENCE, LIKE IT'S THE PLURAL OF SCIENT.
YOUR SCIENCE WOWNT HELP YOU, HE'S TEXTING UP TO A SATELLITE
DID&DOWN TO ME SO IT'S SORT OF HELPING HIM.
"YOUR SCIENCE WON'T HELP YOU WHEN SATAN--," OF COURSE, HE
BELIEVES IN SATAN.
WHY WOULDN'T HE?
HE BELIEVES GOD MADE THE EARTH IN SIX DAYS.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN SATAN?
NO, THAT'S A BIG IRRATIONAL, YOU KNOW.
SO HE BELIEVES IN SATAN, RIGHT.
"YOUR SCIENCE WON'T HELP YOU WHEN SATAN IS RAPING YOUR
BRITISH ASS."
HE'S GOT A POINT.
BECAUSE IF I-- NO, HE HAS-- HE HAS GOT A POINT.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: UH-HUH, UH-HUH.
>> BECAUSE IF I DIE AND I FIND MYSELF IN HELL BEING RAPED BY
SATAN, SCIENCE IS PRETTY MUCH LET ME DOWN.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: THAT'S TRUE.
THAT'S VERY OPEN MINDED OF YOU.
>> YES.
BUT THIS IS-- SO, SO THIS IS MY FAVORITE BIT.
"YOUR SCIENCE WON'T HELP YOU WHEN SATAN IS RAPING YOUR
BRITISH ASS.
I'LL BE LAUGHING."
SO THIS SILLY (BLEEP) IS THERE, TOO!
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
HE'S THERE!
SO HE'S-- HE'S-- HE'S A FUNDAMENTALIST CREATIONIST WHO
HAS LIVED HIS LIFE BY THE OLD TESTAMENT.
HEIDIZE.
HE GOES-- HE FINDS HIMSELF IN HELL.
HE SEES ME BEING RAPED AND HE GOES HA!
AND IT CHEERS HIM UP.
LIKE, HE'S OVER IT ALREADY.
>> Stephen: THAT'S A COMPLIMENT BECAUSE YOU'RE A
COMEDIAN.
YOU'RE ACTUALLY MAKING SOMEONE LAUGH IN HELL.
>> I'M AN ABILITYIST COMEDIAN.
LIKE SATAN WOULDN'T THROW ME ASIDE AND BE WITH THE CHRISTIAN
IF HE FOUND HIM IN HELL.
THAT WOULD BE SATAN'S BEST DAY EVER.
HE WOULDN'T BOTHER WITH ME ANYMORE.
UNBELIEVABLE.
THAT'S WHY IT'S MY FAVORITE TWEET.
AND ALL IT WAS RETWEETING IT.
>> Stephen: YOU SAID-- WHEN YOU RETWEETED YOU SAID, "I
BELIEVE THIS TWEET SHOULD GET A KNIGHTHOOD."
>> I DID, YES, I DID.
>> Stephen: I WANT TO TALK MORE ABOUT THAT WHEN WE COME
BACK.
WE HAVE TO TAKE A LITTLE BREAK RIGHT HERE.
STICK AROUND.
WE HAVE MORE RICKY GERVAIS.
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