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You
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Tribes in certain parts of the world roll around in fire ants as a rite of passage to
become a man.
In one African tribe adolescent boys wander off into the wilderness to kill a lion as
part of their coming of age initiation.
But what does it take to become a fully-fledged man or woman in today's modern society?
Do we need a car, a home, a job?
Do we need to buy an insurance policy and have kids?
Or should we travel the world with a backpack and a copy of the lonely planet guidebook?
Perhaps getting married and having children is the true mark of adulthood.
What is it that makes us grow up?
That's what we will find out in today's Infographics Show – How do you actually
become a Man (or woman)?
So how do we know when we shake of the shackles of adolescence and become a fully-fledged
man or woman?
Let's look at the male first.
Men generally take longer to grow up than women.
At what point do boys exhibit the deeper elements of masculinity to be labelled as a man?
What attributes do they display?
In fringe cultures past and present highly ritualistic paths to becoming a man exist.
Some of these involve entering the jungle and killing a wild animal, others involve
shamanic celebrations, perhaps with the consumption of mind-altering natural substances.
Some of these rituals involve body mutilation.
Adolescent Australian aborigine boys set out to the wilderness on a spiritual walkabout
for up to six months.
On this journey of discovery they trace their ancestors and sing ancient songs.
Boys from the Satere Mawe Amazonian tribe wear ceremonial gloves filled with stinging
ants for ten minutes of intense pain and suffering before being declared adult.
In the Pacific island of Pentecost boys dive into the ground from rickety wooden towers
100 feet tall with vines tied to their ankles.
Perhaps this rite of passage was the inspiration for the modern bungee jump.
Boys from tribes in Papua New Guinea undergo bloodletting rituals that involve shoving
wooden canes down their throats and up their nostrils and poking sharpened arrows through
their tongues.
Also in Papua New Guinea the Sepik River tribe undergo the crocodile skin ritual that involves
the use of hundreds of razor blades to fashion a manly crocodile-skin appearance.
While some of these outlandish ceremonies involve episodes of bravery and tolerance
to pain we wonder if they really prove that the subject has become an adult.
Tribal and hunter gathering societies rely heavily on each other in their functional
close-knit societies.
Perhaps the true benchmark to becoming a man or woman in a developed society is based on
the fundamental way we engage independently with the world and other people in it.
The transition from being provided for by others to either providing for yourself or
taking care of others is perhaps the true rite of passage that leads to adulthood.
To become a man or a woman (rather than a child) you should first have the ability to
feed and dress yourself.
To be fair, most people are able to do this before they reach their teenage years.
But if you aren't feeding or dressing yourself you are not fundamentally an adult.
The next stage is financial independence.
Most children hit this stage of development by the time they complete their formal educational
studies and graduate from educational institutions.
Some people go through life without ever being financially independent.
Besides financial independence to become an adult a man or woman should achieve psychological
independence.
This requires the ability to think through problems employing acquired ethical and moral
tools to make independent decisions leading to action.
This includes following personal desires and beliefs to achieve a better standard of emotional
and physical being.
In short, if you are dancing to the tune of someone else's drum you are not fully independent
and are therefore not truly a man or woman.
If you require the validation and support of others while making life-changing decisions
such as following a new career path or moving to another town then you are still clinging
to the support network that was constructed during developmental years.
We should add here that if you are physically or mentally handicapped then you might not
be able to do some of these things.
That is a different matter, and we are not saying those people are not grown men or women.
Once you have completed all formal education it is time to get a job.
Hopefully you have studied in a field to which you are interested in and emotionally invested
in.
With a bit of luck you have found your true calling and passion in life and are set to
embark in a career working in that area.
If not, you can find a job that pays the bills while concentrating on working on your true
passion.
Life is about finding out what you are good at and what you enjoy doing and turning that
passion into a lifestyle.
Search online job sites, newspaper classified sections, tailor your resume for each individual
opening.
Once you have landed that position get to work on time every day, work consistently,
and find opportunities to acquire new knowledge in the field.
Remember, the acquisition of knowledge should be considered a leisure activity for an adult.
We do not learn because we have to.
We learn because we enjoy learning and understand the benefits that knowledge will bestow us.
To actually become a man or woman in the eyes of modern society consider finding a house
or apartment to own or rent on your own.
You should find a place that is affordable in an area that is safe and healthy and ideally
located close to that new-found job, friends, and other activities.
You should also consider the cost of utilities such as electricity and water and other rates.
Makes sure you can afford to live in your new abode without relying on handouts from
friends and relatives.
You now have a job and a place to live.
Well done.
You are well on the way to becoming a man or woman.
You could of course be a grown-up homeless person, and then you'll have to mature within
the harsher climate of the streets.
Becoming an adult also requires making plans for unplanned eventualities.
Becoming an adult might entail buying insurance policies so that emergencies do not put you
in an awkward financial position.
Health, motor, or home insurance allow you to live your life in a way that frees you
from potential calamities.
Saving money is also a sign of maturity.
Although some of us find it difficult to save throughout our adult lives try to put some
money aside.
Having an extra fund and/or insurance policies in place help us weather out times of financial
hardship.
Of course you may be lucky enough to live in a country with free healthcare.
You may not need a car to travel and may have made a choice not to hold on to possessions
that require insurance.
So the acquisition of insurance is not a sign of adulthood under those conditions.
But if you are living a lifestyle that benefits greatly from having insurance, then make sure
you consider buying a policy or two to become fully independent.
Some individuals find that travel helps them develop into a man or a woman.
To take a year out from study or work and explore the world definitely helps with establishing
an adult perspective on the world.
Explore the world with a backpack and study different cultures, perhaps volunteer in India,
or teach English in Japan.
These experiences help individuals break away from their usual cognitive thought patterns
and see the world through a different lens.
Seeing the world through the eyes of others is a trait that women and men have and children
often do not.
Now we move into the relationship realm.
You've landed a job, you've found somewhere to live.
You have made sure that you are financially secure and have put something aside for any
rainy days.
You may want to look at committed relationships for both friendship and romance.
Now the relationship that you had with your parents will have a great bearing on who you
become attracted to in later life.
If your parents were abusive and unpleasant studies have shown that you will be attracted
to those with similar traits.
Being an adult is about forming bonds with people who are responsible, mature and kind
to you.
Avoid people who bring out the worst in you.
Probably the most difficult thing a man or woman has to do in the relationship realm
is to break away from abusive and toxic relationships.
To become fully grown up we need to learn how to break away from difficult relationships
without letting them drag on.
We also need to discover how to help make healthy relationships grow and flourish by
putting in effort and making personal sacrifices.
To understand which relationships are worth our time and energy and which ones we need
to distance ourselves from is all part of growing up.
Now it makes sense on one level that by getting married and having children we are entering
the world of adulthood.
Although the responsibilities encountered through marriage and parenthood are adult
responsibilities the simple acts of getting married or having children does not an adult
make.
If the mother and father are too young to work, pay rent and bills, and form healthy
emotional relationships then bringing another life into the equation will not suddenly change
this.
A 12-year-old girl can become pregnant and survive childbirth but can't hold a job
legally and in most societies cannot live alone.
So to become a man or woman we must be able to function independently in the society in
which we live.
Different societies have their own requirements, but the society we live in requires a man
or woman to have a job (or a means of support) a place to live and a number of healthy human
relationships to be recognized as a man or a woman.
So what do you think makes a man or a woman?
How do we break away from the apron-strings of childhood?
Be sure to let us know in the comments section below.
Also, be sure to watch our other video called – Weird Things Americans Do.
Thanks for watching, and as always, don't forget to like, share and subscribe, and as
ever, see you next time
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