The way people look at the world right now because it's such an incredible time is
actually the quickest tell to who they are if you think it sucks or it's bad
you have losing pessimistic DNA and if you think it's awesome and phenomenal
you have optimistic winning DNA and I believe that to be true
I believe beauty is beyond size with so much emphasis on the body and external
it's no wonder that we all suffer so much internally but you know people in
the fashion industry actually told me that I would never be in magazines let
alone the covers of them well I guess we've proven them wrong five covers in a
little over a year and I was one of the very first curvy models to be featured
and Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition never let anybody tell you that you can't
I have achieved and I'm still achieving what was seemingly impossible
you will never learn from people if we always tap-dance around the truth oh god
I love that we tap-dance around the truth by finding the right words I don't
hurt you because you have thin skin no tighten up people it's okay
trust me it's okay you might be called nigger one day it's okay you might be
called some Jewish word or some faggot or gay word it's okay let them call you
that what are you going to do now they don't own your life how are you going to
control that now how are you going to flip it upside down and say Roger that
now I'm going to harness this and you read about me years from now how that's
the question how are you gonna do that thicken your skin become more of a human
being don't be afraid of the reflection in the mirror because that's all you can
be afraid of once you overcome the reflection in the mirror you've done it
No matter what people perceive of me I always shine through at
the end of the day so I've had a lot of people try to tear me down but I'm here
and I have always been myself and I've always wanted that and I've been
graceful and I've tried to handle myself with this much class and it's only
because I know how hard I work and I'm not gonna let any of that gets me
if you worry about what other people think about you you will always be their
prisoner so unless you're prepared to be other people's prisoners at some point
if they are hurling dirt on you if they're constantly trying to Re-burry you
under the earth that you're trying to claw your way out from then you're never
gonna get out you've got to just stop worrying about what they think so they
can't actually affect you they can only try to influence your mindset do not let
them you've got to understand who you're trying to become believe in your ability
to get there to become that person to understand that to continue to beat
yourself up for something in the past is not going to serve you and so for that
very reason let it go
if you're doing anything interesting in the world you're
gonna have critics if you absolutely can't tolerate critics then
don't do anything new or interesting
play to your own element
don't try and perform someone else's expertly so in modern terminology or how
would I say that is don't waste your time Steve Jobs don't waste your time
trying to live someone else's life you know don't be trapped by Dogma focus in
on your own strengths your own element what you have to offer don't get lost in
trying to become like someone else or pretend to be someone else
one of my favourite quotes by Einstein and then Steve Jobs again
Einstein said if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree
it'll spend its whole life believing that it's stupid and too many of us are
fish trying to climb a tree too many of us a monkeys being taught how to swim
too many of us are lions being taught to live like cats we're not getting to live
in our element so my second piece of advice is live in
element that you've naturally been given don't try adopt another you know we've
all got a special genius inside of us it was Steve Wozniak and Steve Jobs' conversation
Steve Wozniak for those who don't know is
the tech guy behind Apple he practically invented the technology and the software
and everything so Steve Wozniak looked at Steve Jobs and he says this is in
Walter Isaacson's biography of Steve Jobs Steve Wozniak looks at
Steve Jobs and he says what do you even do he said you're not a coder
you're not a designer you're not a marketer and you're not an engineer what
do you even do imagine challenging Steve Jobs and Steve Jobs replies he says he
says musicians play their instruments I play the orchestra that is the most deep
understanding of one's role in life and not getting lost in other people's
identities and perceptions of you Steve Jobs knew that he wasn't a marketer he
wasn't an engineer he wasn't a coder so he hired all of those but he played the
orchestra he brought it all together and when you find confidence
in your own role you won't be envious of anyone else's
Your time is limited so
don't waste it living someone else's life don't be trapped by Dogma which is
living with the results of other people's thinking don't let the noise of
others opinions drown out your own inner voice and most important have the
courage to follow your heart and intuition they somehow already know what
you truly want to become everything else is secondary
lead with service like just serve
If you're a musician serve if you're a coder serve if you're an orchestra leader serve
if you're an entrepreneur serve, like make your life about service and helping
other people not just to feel good but make that the reason why you
what you do, don't make that what happens because you have money make that
the reason you do what you do yeah and if people start with service then you'll
experience the love then you'll experience compassion
Daniel experience gratitude Gandhi said that you find yourself when
you lose yourself in the service of others and that's the deepest level
of self-actualization so know that you're the soul and the consciousness
not the body know that you have a unique genius and don't settle for any less and
use both of those to serve other people as the reason for the first two
I don't think confidence is something that you are born with
It's a skill set and I had no confidence
growing up as a child I was extreme I had very low self-esteem I was gawky
as teenager I lived in America I was made to feel conscious about the fact that I
was Indian that was weird at that time and not by
everyone but just by like a few bullies at school that hated me in high schools
hard for everyone so I was in a very weird sort of teenage place and
when Miss India happened I'm inherently competitive I think the fact that I was
competitive pushed me to teach myself to be confident initially I faked it till I
made it I was like I'm not gonna let anyone see that I'm scared I'm not gonna
let anyone see that I'm affected and over time I realized that as a woman as
a girl in this world if I allow myself to be hurt or if I allow myself to be
affected that's all I'm going to be and I'm not you know trying to say that
so it's an issue that just women have it's not easy to be a woman in show
business and especially a woman does opinionated especially someone who I'm
not I'm sort of like and I wasn't like that from the beginning I sort of
learned so confidence is something I've taught myself over the years I started
becoming okay with who I am I became the best version of me and then I sort of
said I'm okay you know I'm alright even if someone
else into this I'm okay and everyone can do that people just don't realize I was
Miss World at 18 just because I was confident so it made
me understand that confidence truly is the key to getting ahead in life if you
believe in yourself the world will believe in you because perception is reality
Lucien was a guy who ran a comic strip comedy club in New York and
you know the eyes that Lucien had for comedy were supposed to be the ultimate
eyes for telling if lucein gave you a stamp of approval you had something good this
is what was going around as a young comedian I'm in New York I'm trying to
get into these comedy clubs like this is this is it this is this is what this is
what it's about I'm here oh my god like yo I'm starting
to get closer I'm in the city huh whoa whoa major step major win
come on kev we getting there
I land an audition for the comic strip for Lucien
like there were different levels of the audition you can audition for Lucien's
people and then Lucien's people would say okay now Lucien can come see you this
is somebody should see so Lucien didn't have to look at everybody you know you
could go through a filter pretty much I skip that because I came highly
recommend from some people from some friends
they set up a time for Lucien to go to see me I'm nervous this is a big day but
I'm ready I get on stage I kill now my material wasn't great back then I mean
this is the beginning I'm green so I'm not talking about much but I have a good set
Lucien calls me of the stage calls me to come into his office this is where he
talks to comedians after the shows and he tells me without any pause hesitation
there was no warm-up there was no preparation for what he's about
to say he goes I don't think comedy is for you that's first start, thats how he started
I don't think comedy is for you I think that you should find something else
I think that you should really look into doing something else cuz this isn't
this isn't it yeah straight face I'm not gonna use you at my club no not you
thank you sorry that's that's it that's what that's what uh
so there's no laughs after that - you mean man that's what you're saying
thank you had to get up go out of his office biggest punch of the stomach i took
everybody builds this stigma as what you need along your way everybody always has something
now if you want to make it hey you want to do radio let me tell you something
you're not gonna ever make it if X Y Z don't give the sign of approval if he
gives you the blessing you out there yeah you know hey man look you got a book let me
tell you something if Oprah don't say nothing about that book that book ain't
gonna make it okay not to say Oprah's word isn't powerful because it is
yeah but everybody doesn't mean that everybody's not supposed to go the same
ways and follow the same pattern and that's what people get locked into there
and I was locked into that in the beginning I wanted the approval of
certain comedians of certain comedy club owners of certain managers to come and
see me but that wasn't for me that wasn't my path so when I understood
that it was about trying to just simply become the best version of me possible
yeah and create my own path uh-huh how do I create my own path
how do people jump on my path how do I do that Oh Kevin you know what you do
just keep doing what you're doing and eventually they'll come everybody's
gonna have to catch up with you eventually yeah if you work hard and do
what you're supposed to and in this book I talk about that I talked about staying true
to my journey and my beliefs and my goals and saying you know what that
the thousand No's that I took prepared me for the one yes cuz when I
heard that one yes I got addicted yeah I don't have to go back to No's I heard
yes one time I'm about to make these match up I'm gonna get as many yeses as
I had No's yeah it's about to shift fourth circuit but it's
information is valuable information yeah don't give up on S**t you can control man
and here's a crazy thing by me writing a book I realised that we're
living a book yeah like your life is a book you got chapters in your life and the reason
why I say life lessons because each chapter
there should be a lesson after that chapter in your life if something bad
happened what did you learn from that bad mistake and how did you improve on
that to move on to the next chapter in your life and be better
ultimately however your book ends which is your life you dictate and you determine that
so if it ends bad that means that you were content with the bad that was going
along the way in the chapters if it ends good you did that
my dad's gonna end good simply because he made his mistakes he was on
drugs put him on rehab got cleaned up but now he's trying to be the best
grandfather that he possibly can mm-hmm I have no ill will and desire
for my dad to think about the mistakes he's made instead I take care
of my dad here's your house here's your car mm-hmm go out with a bang so when
it's all said of done your life is closed with a dope chapter yeah you can say
that I made my mistakes but I survived them look how it ends
you could say that you
got to see your son be where he is now you can say that your son's the father
that he is to his kids because of the mistakes that you made
so there's positives and the negatives you got to be smart enough to find out and flip that
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