I am Tahira Syed, and you are watching
Speak Your Heart with Samina Peerzada
My guest today on Speak Your Heart with Samina Peerzada is Tahira Syed
I like her a lot
I admire her grace and her poise
and they way she is
Very beautiful
Lets meet
Tahira Syed
Thank you so much Tahira, for finding the time
I tried finding you so much, where have you been?
I live in New York for 6 months and in Pakistan for the other 6 months
I thought you might be doing a world tour
This is has been happening for the past 10 to 12 months because my daughter lives there
First I used to go for a shorter period of time
and lately I have been spending 6 months
so what do you do for those 6 months
It is so fun
I have the best time ever
because grandchildren are there
Kiran is there and New York is such a wonderful place
that you don't even notice the time spent
but you are so eastern
I know, but I have a change of persona after going there
I become somebody else
Because I have seen you as a very conserved
Very much, very much
I look forward to coming back and when I come back, I love it
Actually my entire family is here
Kiran is in the only child who lives outside
so how do you live without your friends and family?
Its very difficult and I miss them, but thank God
that I have made good friends there too
and the atmosphere is very different there
Your activities are different
You meet different people
Its quite
mind opening
the time, over there because I get to meet the most wonderful people
and the most remarkable
people in their own fields
So did you start painting living there?
No
I thought that maybe, because you have time now
but I don't get enough
to start it again
No I don't get time at all
and my entire week is spent being busy
sometimes I am going to Kiran, sometimes she comes to me
in Long Island
Our weekends are together
and there is something planned all the time
We take a trip to Europe
Every year
So we prepare for it and when we return, we are tired
its just a mad rush
so thats why I never get time
So how long will keep this up?
Forever
All planned and set
Absolutely
Lets go back a little
in your childhood \
Are you the youngest?
Yes I am the youngest
so the most pampered
I don't know about that but
but I think there were a lot of benefits of being the younger child
I will only say this that you don't get to say anything productive
Everyone thinks you as the youngest
in childhood
but I think that an experiment with the elders is already done
That is true
I have 5 siblings
who are elder to me
So in my childhood, I was mostly ignored that this
that whatever she is saying, ignore it, she is bluffing
but since I grew up and I asserted myself
So now I control all of them
Who loved you the most?
My father
because we are 2 sisters and 4 brothers
so girls were given importance in your house
What was it like?
She used to do that needle work
and she used to sing too
and she was very disciplined
So how was it?
I will just say this that
Our house
it was mostly
like
an entertainment everyday
because my mother's relatives and friends
and my father's relatives and friends
People used to come and go all the time
and we used to live in Muslim town where all my father's relatives lived
because his elders had bought that place and the entire family lived there
it was the most blissful childhood because
our grandmothers house was very near
my uncle, and all my favourite cousins used to live near us
Everyday was fun
but the best thing I saw about my house was that it was an open house
whoever came, stayed
a new bedstead would be placed in our room for the guest
and just like this they used to come and stay for 3 or 3 months
and because there was no television or internet
the only entertainment for us was to sit with our elders and listen to them talk
Like the people of the same age as my grandmother
So it was an interesting time, as we used to ask them to tell us stories, and things about Jammu
so
I think a lot of my personality and character has been shaped by that early
interaction
with older people
What is your first memory?
I think my first memory is my sisters wedding
It must be my first memory, that she was getting engaged
and people are coming to our house and my sister is sitting all dressed up
and then next year she got married
that also I remember
and my mother made me wore some jewellry and told me that
don't let anyone take it
so I told the entire family that, take care of me because I am wearing jewelry
So I have heard that story and I think it is my first memory
So you had a lot of guests
Were the kids allowed to sit with them
This wasn't said that go to your rooms
or that go and do somethings else
you would sit and listen to them
Understood or not but you were sitting there
and because my father was friendly
He was one of the intellectuals of that time
He used to write too
He used to be in the company of the famous poets
because I was the youngest and I didn't have much exposure
but I know that
there were a lot of intellectual gatherings in the house
where poems were recited
and I remember that I used to go in a lot of poetry competitions
with my parents
so our house had a very desi ambiance
there was nothing western about it
We didn't eat on the table
We had a simple household
we had a village lifestyle
We didn't even have a dining table
We had small stools
We used to sit on it and there used to be a choky infront for food
or we would use a tray
there was no such formality
and all the guests or relatives would do the same
another place would get filled
because there was only one A.C in our house and it was a rarity of that time
and everyone used to sleep in that room ofcourse
So me and my parents
and my siblings
my sister got married and she left, and one of my brothers went abroad to study
So we used to be in that room
so whoever used to come, his bedstead would be placed ther e
so it was a communal living
Which is a precursor to the communal living that was followed much later in America
after they all decided to make communes
So this was the environement of our house
I think it was like this in the old times
Everyone was very hospitable
And the ambiance of the house never changed because of the guests, there was no formality
So where did you learn all this, you are very graceful
and you carry yourself well
and make over and eveything else
I think I have learned all of this with magazines and television
I think there was emphasis on it
My mother wasn't found of dressing up
She
was not fond of any makeup
She had one lipstick that she would use
and she would just smear the lipstick for the extra
and I have never seen anything like makeup with her
but apparantly earlier on
She told me that she used to have the black and green nail polish and she was very fashionable at that time
It may have been true but I never saw her like that, because I was born when she was in her 40s
so I didn't see that and I suppose that 40 was considered really old
so she had left doing makeovers or getting dressed up
and I was fond of that
I had always liked
well dressed people
and makeup and all that
But like you are right now
I have seen that you are very conserved
and I remember when I did a play, and you and Naeem came
and I thought that memory is so beautiful
Its wonderful and I have so many memories
of you and
Usman walking
Walking from your place to our place
and we used to meet in New Garden town
How were you as a teenager?
I think
I was
pretty
wild
but
Were you wild as a kid also?
I think so
I was always rebellious
and I was
always
questioning
and not given to
obedience
which my mother wanted
demanded of me when I was
when I was not doing that
so what did your mother want
She wanted me to obey her
and I used to protest
and I used to argue
Did your mother want you to do music?
She wanted it
She tried
with my siblings also
but
maybe she didn't try hard enough
What did people come to teach you?
One teacher used to teach Sitar
and then there was a teacher for singing
One of my brothers would be learning something one way or the other
and then I learned Sitar too
because my mother wanted me to learn it
and there was a picture of you in Natural Geography
so my mother wanted all her children to have some skills in them
and she never agreed to this that only studies were enough
and when we used to protest that we are very busy in studies and etc
it takes a lot of my time
everybody would make an excuse
so she would not agree to that
She said that you can be so many things
You just
You don't have to be one thing at a time
and did you get books as a gift?
that read books too
We didn't get books but my father had a lot of books that were classic
and I remember I used to read
Thomas Hardy and
Charles Dickens and I was
maybe 12 or 13
and I think that imprinted on my mind, a lot of melancholy
because all these books were tragedy
and I think that the ones I enjoy
reading and watching are tragic movies
tragic songs
so I think that kindled that fire with in me
You never thought of acting?
No
When you like arts so much
and in the house
No
not at all
in fact my mother wanted to act ones
and she told my father, there were 2 children then
that I want to go to Bombay and act
and if you remember, at that time, the actors also were the singers
that is why she got a role in a movie
She took the children with her to Bombay
and there she
recorded a song
After two weeks she called my father and said that
I cannot do this, this is a very difficult thing
and you have to stay dressed up on the set for the entire day
and nothing happens, shooting is a long process
and I am done
but I have a contract, so what should I do
so he told her to come back, and we will fight it
So she came back
and that song
We saw recently
We saw it on BBC because they did documentry on old silent films
and there is a recording of my mother where she is singing
and is singing live
musicians
are sitting behind the camera
It was done like this back then
so its incredible that we have that record of her
How precious, this is such a precious memory
So she came back, and no child was fond of it?
No son wanted to do this?
because it was so exciting, this
I think nobody thought of that, even though there were a lot of famous actors living near us
They were close friends
But you were rebellious, you didn't think of it either?
No I didn't think of it either
and we even had a studio, Malika Studios
So there was shooting done there everyday, and we all would be going
but
No one came towards acting nor did anyone show any desire
Then you came to college
I came to college and
I had the best
best
three four years, of my life
in college
So you used to sing there?
No
Never
I was already a professional
I was 14 when I joined college
and I had already appeared on T.V
and was that by chance or by desire
That was by desire because
There was a competiton organised on radio station
I took part in it .
and I got the first prize in it
and Mohammad Idrees told me to come on television
He had a program called, University Challenge
So I told him to ask my mother
He asked her
and I had just appeared for my Senior Cambrige
and then I went and performed in his show
Were you a reluctant singer?
Very reluctant
I think that too because
I was never fond of it
I only did it for my mother
So what did you want to become?
Nothing
Why is it important to become something?
Why couldn't I just be nothing?
It is not important to become something
It would have been so fun that I would have been unknown and would be living a normal life
and not having these anxiety attacks that should I sing this
and all that tension
so did you ever talk to your mother?
My father had died when I was 14
But I couldn't talk to my mother, at that time, you could talk to the father but not the mother
She knew that I was reluctant
but when she used to teach you singing
so how did you avoid or dissapear?
I never did
I couldn't go
And how early?
In the evening, after school
When I used to comeback, my singing teacher used to be waiting
He was the father of Amanat Al,i Fateh Ali
Khan Akhtar Hussain
So he used to sit, and he was an elderly man and I used to respect him
So how could I get up and dissappear
I had to sit there and learn
so coming after school, being tired and then doing this, I hated it
but thank God she persisted
at that time you never know
No not at all
that this art stay with you forever
It keep you going
Yes absolutely
Now tell me, if you used to learn singing, where did your mind wander?
In the entire world
It was never focused
I just used to wait that when will this end
and when will I go from here
to read or play outside
What did you play?
We had a very big garden
The house where we moved to when I was about 12
it was 80 canals
and my mother had planted all the fruit trees in there
and she had peackocks there too
I remember that
that was later
but we used to have deer and monkeys
We had sheeps
and there was an entire orchard with guavas and mango trees
She had brought them from India and other places
Lychee was there too
Cheeku
and an entire garden of berries
I mean there wasn;t anything that she had not grown there
It used to be a wonderful place for children to play
so I just wanted to be
I just wanted it all to end so that I could go and play
in the garden
and there were the children of our servants
I had no sibling at our house
so used to play with them a lot
Did you play with dolls?
Not a lot
You didn't play with them
No
I had 2 dolls
My brother brought them from London, and my mother forbid me to open the boxes
So she used to say
You have no work here, you can go
She was keeping stuff away from us all the time
and she also had a habit of
She used to eat one piece of chocolate at a time
So obviously if someone would bring chocolates, they would stay with her
and she used to give us one piec e
and we used to beg her to give us more, but she never did
One piece at one time
and she also loved sugar coated almonds
She used to have them
and whenever any of us would go out, we would get it for her
and that also one at a time
You know the concept of a tiger mom, she was that
She always believed that you could do better
so it never happened in my life, that she
appreciated
there was always something that I should have done better
so these dresses and this jewelry
and all these things that I have seen
since I met you in the 70s
I was married already
I started this afterwards
So all of this is aquired
My mother would go shopping in Summer
I think at the age of 15 or 16
I had fallen in love at the age of 13 to 14 with Manoj Kumar
and if we had a picture of any actor
we would decide that this is him
and I loved Muhammad Ali
and I remember that there was his shooting at our studio
and Waheed Murad?
No
You didn't like Waheed Murad?
Thats interesting
We had a group of friends, one of them liked Nadeem
one like Waheed Murad
and I liked Muhammad Ali
and I saw him there
So when did that final love happen?
that I want to marry him
Thank God there was such a love story that evolved into marriage
and you were studying law at that time
I had already finished law
I was working in Zafar's office
and Naeem was already ther e
and he was once again, a remarkably handsome man
we just, after a while
So he proposed, or did you?
Samina, which world are you living in? When did the girls ever propose?
I did
You would have been very bold
I would never take the first
but no, when it came to the proposing, it had to be the man
I was brought up on English novels
and my sister used to have
masses of
cheap romances
and Barabara Cartin, Dinese Robins
So in them , it was always the guy who had to
the one who gets down on his knees and holds the hand
and will ask, will you marry me?
Exactly
So I had this in my mind, that it had to be the man who has to take the first step
So did you tell your mother about this?
No
When did we talk like this to our moms?
She would have killed me
so when the proposal happened, the she came to know
How long did it take for you to quote
Hardly 6 months
and you knew this that that was your man?
No I didn't
It was just a chance
Obviously it didn't workout
so the chance didn't work out
It was only 6 months
What did you like about him?
Stunningly good looking?
Extremely good humor
I mean good sense of humor
but very good sense of humor
and he made me laugh
and he was great company
so
what more could one ask for
so how long were you together?
12 years
thats a long time
it is
and then you decided
thats enough now
Things didn't work out
So when you get separated, does it take time to adjust to the new life?
Of course
It takes alot of time
it takes a lot of effort
but
I think eventually it worked out really well
because he is Mashallah married and has
has children and is happily married
And then you have two
I have 2 wonderful children
but did you keep the friendship intact as you had babies
Not really, it was just with the kids
You kept that cordial relation for the children?
No, I was wanting that
but it didn't happen
So when your first child was born
How did it feel?
It was just the most incredible thing
Samina, the thing is that we forget about the childhood
and particularly when my children were born, I wanted them to grow up early
and that this time should just go
and I look at these children with fascination, I think for the first time in my life
I have seen children so closely
and I consider everything they do to be so new and so incredible
that it is like
seeing the world
all over again
so I enjoy that thoroughly
I love
Didn't you want any of your kid to go into arts?
I did ask them but they declined
or artists and singers
I wanted them to have proper careers first
and Kiran was model, you know that
Kiran started modeling
and then she went on to
become a lawyer
so she went abroad to study
got a job and everything
but
I asked them if they were intersted in
art, and they said they are not
so I was fine with it
You did ask
I was not going to do what my mother did
No one can play any instrument?
No, no, not at all
So I think this is a reaction
Exactly
So what things didn't you stop them from?
Whenever it came to
some
upbringing
question
I would always say that what would my mother have done at that time
and I would do the opposite
Really?
Thats very interesting
and because I remember
I knew exactly how I had felt
at certain times
and I promised that
that would not happen to them and I would not make them go through that
So I
gave them
all the freedom in the world
It all went well, touchwood
I gave them all the freedom, confidence and
trust
and I said, do what you have to
I so much wanted her to be in my first film
I know I know
but then she went abroad to study
So she carried on with her law
Where are you today?
When you look back?
Extremely satisfied with my life
so happy and
fulfulled
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