*WAPOOSH* TOP O' THE MORNING TO YA LADDIES
My name is Jacksepticeye,
and welcome to a game called Kindergarten.
Which I know nothin about
I just know that Ken and some other YouTubers have been playing it.
Ken is the one that I saw, um, i n my subscriptions feed that was playing it;
and then I had some people in my comments to tell me to play it.
So.
I have no idea what it is
But what I can gather, is that you play as a kid in kindergarten
And school may be a bit rougher than it seems?
It looks super kiddy right here,
but from what I've seen, there's talk about murder,
and "the school not being all it's cracked up to be" kind of thing.
So,
maybe kindergarten is wayyy fucking harder than I thought it was.
Well, we don't have kindergarten here
We have an equivalent (in Ireland), but we don't call it kindergarten.
Ummm. Right, okay.
Aww, I'm so freaking adorable and cute.
Look at me go!
Look at my little swagger!
I didn't have a swagger like that. Actually, I still don't have a swagger like that,
so.
You're doing well for yourself, kid
Um, piggy bank
Five dollars. Press down to take money
Press up to put money back
Press interact to withdraw, and planner to cancel
*Soft tap/click*
Okay...
I. Don't. Know. How much. That is.
I-I have a dollar.
Um,
Am I going to have to buy some smokes or cigarettes?
Errr...or something like that?
They're - those are the same thing.
What do I know?
I'm a freaking kid.
Okay, let's head on out.
*Youthful Jack voice* : "Am I ready to start another day of kindergarten?"
Hell to the yes you are!
Good lord!
Look at Miss Bouncin'
Boobs over here! Miss No-Chin. Miss Minion
Face. Uh, where am I? Okay. Hi, friends?
Potential friends. I like the music.
*Pissy six year old child* : "Screw off, kid. I'm busy," okay. I will just click
to screw off. Some of the sound effects
remind me of "The Escapist". *Plugged up nose child*: "Hi. My friends
call me Nugget. Or they would if I had any.
Nugget knows no love or friendship since
Billy went missing." Oh, God. 'What happened
to Billy' 'I'll be your friend'. So I have
actions that i can do in a day. This is
an early access game, by the way, on Steam.
So, anything you're seeing here, is
not the finished product. I should say
that right off the bat, or some people
will get, will get bad vibes off it; for stuff
going wrong. 'What happened to Billy' 'I'll be
your friend'. So I have five moves; that I
can do per day, and some actions costs an
apple. 'I'll be your friend' *Nugget*: "What is your
offering?" 'I only have friendship'. *Giggle laugh* Jesus,
kinderga- this is like the "South Park"
kindergarten. *Nugget*: "Heh, perhaps that is all
Nugget needs. You may have Nugget's nugget.
It signifies our friendship." Uhh, thanks? *Nugget*: "Do
not consume the nugget of friendship, for
with its digestion, so too is our
friendship digested." *Laugh* I won't. Is it
like an actual chicken nugget? *Nugget*: "Good. Nugget
will see you later friend. No more
talking now. Shoo." Okay, okay, geez. These kids
have more personality than I do. *Perky, preppy child*: "Hey there,
cutie. I'm Cindy. Wanna be my boyfriend?" Ahhh,
I don't know what they need I totally
see if you got the crazy eyes or not and
I don't know if you have any baggage
with you you have baggage you have like
yeah bad relationship with your dad or
your mom long-lost brother alcohol
addiction sure why not that's what I
like to hear wien totally be the cutest
couple in school but first you have to
do something for me always the case you
know you tell the girl you be your
boyfriend immediately she wants you to
do something for come on Cindy wonder
what if I want you to do something for
me this is relationship has to be a
two-way thing like what it's not love
enough hahaha that's precious but no it
isn't you're gonna have to prove it to
me
how do I do that you see that girl over
there that's Lily she is by far the
ugliest nastiest girl you will ever meet
I want you to take this gum and stick it
her in her hair during morning hun oh
how cute Cindy way fine but don't come
crying to me when you die old and alone
I'm like I'm like 34 years old in this
game Jesus Christ oh there's more of you
oh hey yeah he's gonna fucking each
other he's got that make move going on
look at him go is that a month or like a
prehistoric spear and you're dressed
like Moses I don't know what up I'm
Monty if you need something come talk to
me either i can get it for you for the
right price what I need and what I said
I'll changes throughout the day so come
see me often ok what can i buy in
kindergarten yo your eye poking you
cigarettes would be for sale a
screwdriver voice recorder I don't know
what I need yet nevermind uh not right
now hi oh um hey Lily you probably heard
about what happened to my brother Billy
I haven't and I don't really care good
both great options I haven't I do shit
on over here didn't tell me you haven't
been all over the news you went missing
a few days ago I'm sorry to hear that
Lily times are tough for all thanks Zack
that makes you wanted a few people that
even seems to care ever since you went
missing people either ignore me or
insult me cindy has been trying to put
gum in my hair that bitch sorry huh I
don't know but if I were you I'd say
away from her she really means thanks
for the tip Lily little litters my
little lily pad speaking of lily pads or
some down here I like Billy please my
favorite one so far except Jeffrey to
Rome damn it what was got his name right
on accident I'm Jerome I don't think
you're cool enough to talk to me
whatever jerk jeez you come out and
you're just a little boy or a little
swine
going on no worries in your life when
you're that age just ones have no
worries the biggest thing you have to
worry about its Jesus how much time do I
have to play today but that's your
biggest concern at that age not try to
my cigarettes wouldn't Goldman people's
hair God how are you doing they are
sunny don't mind the old janitor here
just sweeping up after you silly cretins
sweepy sweepy sweepy uh that's the mop
ah that is you're also mopping the
sidewalk I'll be mopping your blood off
it if you don't skedaddle ok I don't
want to skedaddle I'm a man of my word
you gonna kill me look me in the eyes
and tell me you're gonna kill me come on
to it Shane us fucking christ Oh
mother'god ok I may have underestimated
this game I may I know I say that there
might be murdering fucking in race um
don't hog the degenerate he killed me
with a mop he killed a child with a mop
more than a god he must mean watching
fucking daddy 05 or something i miss
Applegate I have been dwelling down if
with excellent teaching qualities yeah
that's a great big pair of teaching
quality she got here you sure have I'm
not sure I'm comfortable with this game
what the hell isn't it is all I do
really like the music right so
there wasn't a whole lot going on then
wait do I have to do the golden thing
sure like what okay yeah I'll do the gum
thing okay this isn't gonna be grace
fighting against reserve just like her
brother did for dumping me oh no oh I
don't want to do that nothing cats of
the gum Lily buddy heard me I don't
really care okay I need to get to know
get back off nugget as well I'd be your
friend I only have friendship that's
what needs thanks ok cool this game got
fucking real all right let's see if we
can actually put the governor here can I
can I can I not what I do I'm
withdrawing money how do i how do i how
do i do things I don't know how I do
options controls interact space open
planner use action return yeah I was
pressing return but that took money out
this I don't know how I do it okay
children it's time to start today
everyone head inside for morning time oh
oh there's more so maybe you have to do
it in here good morning children it's
time for you to pick your buddy
promoting timer eating meats apathetic
and alone long as you're the best you
can be this is really the education
system that's going on right fucking
sword go find a partner okay what if I
want the sword to be my partner lugar
snooping around in other people's
cubbies mmm they're copies what's in my
cubby talking nothing in my cubby okay
let's see if I can actually do this bum
hair thing through the whole morning
buddy thing anymore my brother Billy was
normally my body for coming Lily's here
ah no cook so mean simply put you up to
this didn't she where didn't care leave
me alone come I feel horrible now I did
what you asked you fucking heartless
monster oh my gosh she totally did wow
what happened what did she say did she
cry I bet she cried she cried yes I'm so
happy there you could be my morning
buddy which also makes you my boyfriend
as my boyfriend you get the honor of
playing house with me I meet you over by
the dollhouse do I really want to Lily
had it all Lily had a little flower in
her hair and everything she could cute
little bangs she lost her brother you
turned me into a monster Cindy all I
wanna do is be fucking happy okay
welcome home husbands I hope work wasn't
too hard because you're going to be
making dinner tonight me sad to think
that Cindy is a bit high-maintenance
also possibly slight hint of bitch but
she's a child so I can't really say that
why do I have to make dinner because
I've been so busy maintaining the house
and I
have you been drinking again what is
this team wait what no honey I'm just
hired that's the smell of tired on me oh
sure you are you're always so tired I'm
sure you won't mind blowing into this
then it's not a breathalyzer you bet it
is and if you go so much as 0.01 I'm
calling your sponsor hey I'm Irish
there's always a slight trace of alcohol
in my blood system I'll take the test
good bloke zero point 32 you're trashed
right now how can she do this to me he
says you against over who could you be a
father when you can't even take care of
yourself now I have kids what is this I
well well you were in prison it it's
probably not yours i'm sorry i guess i
have my own side a problem to deal with
i woke up today a bouncing baby boy
ready to start my kindergarten day
started talking to people met a friend
he gave me a nugget then i met this girl
and my life was spiral downward since
then let such a good analogy for life
it's a good lesson for life meet the
wrong people and your life will go into
a spiral that you can't get out of well
if I we could but it's kind of funny to
see how these kids have adults problems
all of sudden have a wife I have a house
I have a kid that's not mine I've been
to prison you cheated on me it was only
one time I was alone he was there for me
when you weren't I didn't know how to
get by people get mad we can get through
this though I I still love you I want a
divorce but I sign off this game I
didn't think that all of a sudden I
would be killed by a janitor with a
fucking mop and then all of a sudden I'd
be have a kid I was in prison and I want
a divorce I you're right this isn't
working out what do we do now go spend
the night with your mother
I guess that's fair I call you tomorrow
i hope you can sort this out amicably
well then wow that was the most fun I've
had playing house in a boil they're
gonna make a splendid boyfriend I want
you to have lunch with me haha oh yeah
we were only playing house okay great i
see you then sure christ almighty I want
no get to be my friend nugget does not
wish to spend morning time with you know
that is very busy are you busy with you
are curious about the ways of nugget
interesting perhaps you could be of some
use to nugget mayhaps look it is in need
of a magnifying glass give it is full of
it before the next bell rings and you
will be rewarded okay I'm gonna sleeping
around other people's copies right how
do I get that out of it go find the
morning money all right your be an
outcast loser like noget I'll say that
about my friend no it's my body my bro
my home ski right who can be my buddy
why the hell do you think I want to be
your morning buddy good point oh come on
man have some self-esteem what you're
gonna be my more anybody you got no time
for that nonsense unless you're buying
or selling something wanna buy something
none of these things are for sale right
fucking nothing right now the Jerome is
the only one left it wants to be my
morning buddy you know you're not cool
enough to talk to me let alone be my
morning but he'd be fight Monty's gonna
hook up me with a sweet yo yo okay get
the yo-yo I got it I see how this works
get the yo-yo don't know what it is
about these things but your own dozen
you can have it for one dollar deal as
you're doing business which it you to
home just home there we go tell me he
was going to save it from me you can
have it if you'd be my morning buddy I'm
running out of things heck Thanks
chomping I guess you haven't learned how
to tell time yet morning time is pretty
much over text
shit I do now uh-oh where's Willy
where's my time where's my clock get a
no get a magnifying glass have lunch
with Cindy back oh you found it i just
want out to get it no then it Lily shit
fuck I didn't do it in time that's how
much pellet cafeteria fuck ok cool Lord
look at this saw these guys got some
biscuits yeah I love me some biscuits
and cornbread biscuits this lady is
beating the shit out of that food ok you
still want to make the plain glass no
one ever sits at poor nugget nugget does
not have any friends I can't even get
the option to sit with them all biscuit
balls get the biscuit balls here get
them where the hot house a biscuit bulk
my own recipe came up with it after a
little incident that happened recently
what's in them whatever is in a biscuit
and a little soap mixer you gross is a
little DNA in them it's the extra part
that worries me I I'm smart for a kid I
ain't going to take that shit I want to
know what's in them biscuit balls oh
come on try it it won't kill you how
much are they they're a buck apiece
quite a deal if you say so myself when
I'm sure your little friend Cindy would
have loved the time would I get very
sexually innuendos life from you dude
and that's gross just a hair just a
hunch I have one thing everyone I'm sure
she loved it okay oh it looks like a
testicle
I'm not sure here's the whole like haha yeah
yeah oh yeah this is fucking gross this
is weird oh hey boyfriend I say to a
spot go get something to eat and come
sit with me I'm not even the no go cuz I
said a bastion of friendship for me and
nugget oh good I was just thinking about
oh darn it my stupid mother packed me
something that's not vegan she knows I'm
all vegan right now God that woman is
insufferable okay sweetie would you be a
darling and go get me something vegan uh
you know like uh
know exactly what it means
but I know it's good so just ask around
and see if you can find something vegan
oh and that slop isnt vegan but I just
gave you the ball oh that I mess it up
please don't sit with me I don't wanna
talk to you talk to anyone till they
find my brother okay she's not mad
anymore we should go in there I figured
you'd be seeing you around slap it's all
good and the only thing anyone is brave
enough to try a biscuit from the general
don't world man can't even spell right
okay i want to buy something mclubbe
silly meal or a salad right I'll buy a
salad wait after quite know how much it
is 75 cents okay let's get out 75 cents I
think you want to take out a dollar the
day's end because every time I've taken
out a dollar so far the next room starts
gonna buy something a salad Oh weeds are
so much money away to 275 already and
the stupid fucking come on ooh there's
hits bugs Monty and Lily should all be
eliminated during lunch some of the
teacher saying you don't need any
special items to complete your own Cindy
or the teachers missions this is the
hints page it will find you to play a
game you need a special item from Cindy
before he can certain of its mission you
need special item from Jerome and as
much money as you can carry to complete
Monteith mission you need to have
special items from Monty nuggets and
bugs in order to complete Lily's mission
cool Lord right this is hard right ok
I'm going to leave this episode here for
now to see what's going on that game is
weird I like it though
it's really straight I didn't think it
would be as good as it is I like that
it's just all over the place that
kindergarten you're dealing with stuff
that's like prison basically you're
trading stuff your meeting friends you
can get shivved if you're not careful
enough and people will just stab you
with a mop she got real very fast anyway
thank you guys so much watch this video
if you liked it punch that I could never
face like apart and they face a row
thanks guys I was a news
it is hotter than the inside of a
tauntaun in here I talked to smell bad
in the outside
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