hello everybody I am Luciana and today we're doing a little bit of a different
video I want to begin to share with you guys a little bit more of my own journey
throughout the years as I've been teaching meditation and seeing my
clients I sometimes give you guys a lot of examples but I don't always share
with you more profoundly my experience with certain things so I want to begin
to do that simply to put out there how it is possible to begin to move past
things that may be limiting us and I really really wanted to share this video
specifically because because the more and more that I work with people that I
talk to people about what they're experiencing emotionally the first word
that I hear out of everybody's mouth is anxiety I am experiencing my son my
daughter my mom my friend somebody if not you is experiencing anxiety around
you and it's still a thing that not a lot of people understand it's still a
thing that has many perspectives so it's okay to see things differently than what
I am gonna share here with you but today more than anything and more than
teaching you anything I want to share with you my experience of anxiety how I
experienced it how I lived it and the way that it affected my health my body
and my emotional state with all of that said I want to begin I guess where it
all starts in my childhood I feel that since I was a little girl I was always
very afraid of the world so I had a beautiful childhood I had a healthy
childhood things happen in my childhood like my parents getting divorced but it
wasn't really dramatic at the time or in any way at that moment from what I knew
too how can we say too difficult together it
was a transition that seemed kind and normal now I can understand that they
were emotions there that I didn't process but I want to put that out there
first sometimes people believe that if you experience anxiety is either because
there is something wrong with you it's either because you're weak and you don't
know how to handle your emotions or it's because you lived something very
difficult and traumatic in my experience and I would say this is pretty much the
definition that I have concluded that has to do with anxiety is that it is a
resistance to something that eventually becomes mental emotional physical we are
resisting an experience we're unable to process it excessive whatever we are
living is too overwhelming we're assisting it not because we want
to but because we don't know and what how other way to handle it that we begin
to have symptoms like I said some people do not experience physical symptoms of
anxiety some people experience more emotional maybe they might feel a lot of
fear that they do not know why it's there or maybe the anxiety is being
experienced in a very mental way where they're just thinking maybe intrusive
negative thoughts and for most people anxiety becomes something physical I
feel I experience a little bit of all but I did experience it a lot in a
physical way or you begin to feel literally the tension inside in your
chest maybe sweaty palms may be hard
palpitations and things like that I was never officially diagnosed with
anxiety as I was growing up it wasn't a thing because I never expressed anything
one of the big signs of why I was resisting so much it was almost as if I
believed that everything that I was living inside would be an inconvenience
for other people so I never expressed it and this is one of the biggest big
things that cost me from a young age to begin to gain a lot of weight it's
almost as if having the extra weight because if you think about it that
physiologically for your body is meant to protect so it was doing the same
thing for me you know it's like I feel vulnerable I feel nervous
simply because because there was really not much going on it was just my I guess
fear like I said of being in the world and out of not knowing how to handle
then I started from a very young age protecting myself with extra weight
mentally did not make me feel any better but I guess at certain level it brought
some comfort because it became my identity for those of you that may be
watching this maybe you don't experience with anxiety but you have a weight
problem it usually might have happen at the period in your life or you felt you
needed the most protection or you felt that you needed to feel safe emotionally
and little by little habits start to change and suddenly you feel overwhelmed
and suddenly you find yourself overweight for me like I said it started
at a very young age now my mechanism of coping with all of that was to do
nothing but continue to suppress the emotions I really wouldn't talk too much
to anybody there was a lot of shame you know a lot of us people that find
ourselves over overweight we carry a large amount of shame with all of the
weight we carry a lot of shame because we do live in a society that rejects the
way that you look when you're overweight when for you is your only it might be
your coping mechanism to get through so when we're going through life and we're
hearing people remind us of something that we're so aware of even and we don't
talk about it it only creates more of that resisting to live and continuous to
create more weight and this is mainly like I said my experience I became aware
of my anxiety so that's another thing maybe you have you have been
experiencing anxiety for a long time but you really haven't become aware of
it I think I became aware of it around 15 and 16
I guess it's also the period of my life when my hormones began to be more
present and the little fears and the little emotions became big emotions I
still did not express them but I still started to feel a lot of more anxiety
fear I have moments of panic here and there and I never did anything to treat
it the outcome of that is probably within the next three four five years me
reaching a weight of almost 300 pounds and I guess it was around that time that
something in me started to click you know I always had an interest in
meditation I always had an interest in learning you know about something
something bigger than ourselves and that started very young but it was mainly
probably after I graduated high school that I started to read more about it and
learn more about it it's one thing to read it's another thing to practice but
it was not until I was you know in my mid-20s or the 20s that I started to
really really really begin to practice what meditation was and it took time
because at the beginning it makes no sense you're going through anxiety
you're feeling depressed you hate yourself cause you're overweight and
somebody comes and tells you to breathe and relax you don't think that's gonna
help you you you really don't or at least I didn't a lot of the time I was
like this is not gonna help let me go back to what I'm doing but I'm a true
example of the fact that even working through things little by little
eventually pays off the fact that my anxiety got really bad
with physical symptoms to that point where you want to Google to see if
you're about to die you know it's like am I about to die right now with how I'm
feeling at some point I said no more at some point I said let me try different
things my route was to educate myself because like I said I was very skeptical
of many things and every time I talked to my clients because I offer
alternative therapy hypnotherapy techniques from life coaching emotional
integration meditation a lot of people think that I was just like out of the
blue believing in these things believing them because I've seen the
results in my life and in other people's lives but I was there reading about it
learning about it asking about it trusting as I was moving through working
with clients until I've seen it so that was my journey but with all of this said
it took a while and every time little by little I started trusting more and more
and more that I had the power to apply things so my big thing now is that I
recognize when it comes to the emotion of anxiety it is required to be willing
to feel the uncomfortableness of flowing with the uncomfortableness if that makes
any sense it is required to feel and that's gonna
make you uncomfortable either you resist it and the anxiety will continue or you
flow in it will feel uncomfortable at the beginning because you have to allow
if you've ever felt the guilty or ashamed or alone you know it's
uncomfortable and if you're human you have you know but if you're willing to
let yourself experience it something and you will happen where you realize it
wasn't that big of this huge deal that I was making it wasn't this huge drama
that I was imagining it's simple it requires trust it requires letting go
of being the judge of what's happening in your life we are our biggest critics
we are so obsessed especially in our society with thinking that everybody
cares too much about us and how we look and how what we do but at the end of the
day whatever comment or look or opinion people may have it's a surface of what
they're going through but everybody has one spot line and that spots the
spotlight is usually facing in towards themselves everybody's obsessed with
themselves everybody wants something for them I always tell my students in my
classes you're here feeling uncomfortable that there's other people
nobody cares because everybody's feeling uncomfortable about them thinking
but other people care it really requires recognizing that there is nothing wrong
with how things are that it's okay to make peace with things being sometimes
difficult outside of our comfort zone it's okay to make peace with endings
it's okay to make peace with changes like I shared with you um throughout my
childhood my parents got the voice and that was a huge change and I wasn't
expressing too much how I felt and I kept it all inside by the time I was 12
years old my appendix had to be taken out by the time I was 18 years old my
tonsils had to be taking out my gall bladder had to be taking out and at some
point somebody told me what else do you want to come out of your body for you to
pay attention my body could no longer resist could no longer hold the
resistance that I was putting into you know in it and I had no other option but
to wake up and take charge and take responsibility and be willing to feel
uncomfortable temporarily to feel better in the long long term it's an act of
love towards yourself to not put so much pressure to your mind to your emotions
into your body it literally kills us I know it sounds a little dramatic but our
thoughts and our emotions literally affect our body and it can literally
kill us maybe in a long time but it does affect our health we're so obsessed with
little things until things become real that's why I'm a firm believer that we
need tools you know for those of you that may be watching this the follow me
I sometimes sound like literally like a broken record but now more than ever I
have this passion on this mission of wanting to share a lot of the things
that have helped with helped me with the people that are ready a bunch of people
are gonna hear me and they're not gonna like it and maybe you don't believe in
what I say maybe you find it like you've heard it five million times that's good
this is not for you then I want to reach to the people that are ready to simply
receive tools that they can apply in their lives because that's what
transformed mine you know and we have to be strong because not
everybody's gonna agree with us I remember being 12 years old and because
I was so overweight and my belly was sticking out really you know really far
people would tell me are you pregnant but it sarcastically kind of bullying of
course and I remember number one I didn't speak the language because I was
just coming from Mexico so I didn't speak English and I would just sit there
feeling completely humiliated feeling that I wish I knew how to not feel like
this how to change it I feel like most of the my life I was in search for tools
and now that I found them for the people that are also searching for tools I
wanna at least do my little put my little grain and and put that out there
and now it's like I'm really passionate about that so anyway so that's pretty
much what kind of what I wanted to share with you guys and more than anything
please if you're experiencing anxiety or depression or anything the only thing
that I want to remind you of right now is that you truly hold the key and the
power maybe right now you don't yet know that different tools that you can use
but you do have the power just don't forget that a lot of people and I was
there we feel so powerless and worthless when we're going through something we
feel small in front of everybody else in the world even if we have recognition
it's because of what you're feeling inside just want to remind you you have
done nothing wrong you're not experiencing anxiety and depression
because you're being punished it's simply the side effect of until now how
do you process your emotions and you've truly been doing it the best that you
can the only thing is that this way doesn't
work anymore because it's only not helping but hindering so it's simply
about looking for support and the tools you know I teach about the process of
emotional integration I teach about the power of meditation to help emotions if
that doesn't work for you go reach out to whatever method person author
purpose that helps you but you need to take charge stop resisting allow
yourself to flow and instead of freaking out of the flow
take charge yes so that's what I wanted to share with you guys I hope you guys
have a beautiful beautiful day and I'll see you soon bye bye
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