One of the greatest fears people have is public speaking. It's not as complicated
as you might think. Today on Live On Purpose TV, how to prepare a speech or
give a talk.
A big part of what I do is speaking, presenting, sharing ideas and
principles from the stage or from the microphone and they get a lot of
questions because of that. How do you prepare a speech or a talk?
What are the keys that go into that? I'm also the past president of the
National Speakers Association Mountain West chapter which has given me a chance
to hang out with some really phenomenal people who also make public speaking
part of their business or what they do. It's kind of funny because one of the
number one fears that people have is public speaking. In fact, on a lot of
lists that you can find, it comes in above death, think about it.
Jerry Seinfeld said this, he said, that means that the guy giving the eulogy at the
funeral would rather be in the box. It's kind of funny that we fear it so much.
A friend of mine, Dan Clark, who is an amazing Hall of Fame speaker, he said,
really, it's not public speaking that is the number one fear, it's not speaking
well that is the number one fear and when you think about that, makes a whole
lot of sense. It's not so much the speech that we fear, it's fearing the failure of
not doing well as we prepare that speech. So maybe a couple of points will help to
put us in position to create or prepare and prepare for better speeches and
talks. This is also, I believe, one of the best things that you can do to improve
your effectiveness in any career, in any career. If you can improve your spoken
communication, it's going to have a huge impact in a
lot of ways. So let's take a look at what we can do first of all, this is huge and
that's why I'm putting it first. It's not about you. It's not about you, it is about
your audience, it is about the people who are going to be enhanced and enriched as
a result of you being there on the stage or on the mic. So this helps with the
anxiety piece too because as long as we're feeling anxiety or is our focus,
"It's on me." Yeah, get the focus off of you. This is not about you, this is about the
people who are blessed by what you do. So get the focus back onto the audience.
So let's say that you're giving a speech to a Rotary Club, for example, or a local
lodge of some fraternity, whatever it is. You're giving this speech, have the first
thing on your mind be that audience, who's in that audience, what is it that
they're coming to this meeting for, what do they need to get from this in order
for this to be a successful outing, that's where we start, okay?
When your focus is there, it's going to go a whole lot better, trust me and you'll
have less anxiety too. So number one, it's not about you. Number two, we're going to
use the rule of three, alright. There's something magical about the number three
and this will help to simplify your preparation for the speech and the
delivery. The rule of three basically means that
you're going to have three main points. Three main points, not four, not seven,
three. Narrow it down to three. The human mind is able to comprehend and track
three things a whole lot better than a longer list and it makes more sense than
two, so come up with three points, three main ideas, three principles that you
want to share as part of your speech or your presentation. As you come
up with those three, the next step is to think about stories,
primarily stories, you can also use illustrations or examples or data.
Stories is what will connect the best with your audience. What stories can you
think of that illustrate or support the three points. Ideally, you want to find
your own stories, okay? There's a lot of stories out there that have been
published some of them are very popular for your best presentation you want
those stories to be something that has happened to you or that you are directly
aware of. Here's a little word about ethics too and I know probably most of you
aren't into the business of professional speaking, it's especially important there
but even if you're just giving a talk in church or at some community event, to use
someone else's story is really kind of a form of plagiarism. Now unless you have
some particular way that that connects to you or some interpretation of it that
is unique to you, you don't want to steal somebody else's material, okay? So here's
an example, I'll just use this one because a lot of us are familiar with it.
Some people are familiar with the story of the person who's down on the beach
throwing starfish back out into the water
this one has come up a lot in my Association the National Speakers
Association because it's been overused and therefore becomes a really great
example, so you want to make the point that every individual matters and so you
tell the starfish story, right? We're picking up starfish, somebody challenges
you, what good is that gonna do? Well it made a difference for that one, as you
throw it out into the water. You know the story, right? That story has been told
so many times that it has become a hallmark of an inexperienced speaker.
I'm not sure you want to show up that way, okay? And if you do, that's fine but it's
been used so many times if you use that story, anyone listening
will know that you've got kind of a limited amount of experience as a
speaker. Here's how we get away from that and I'm not saying it's not a good story,
it is, that's why it's been used so much but the point is, it's not yours and if
it's overused then it detracts from your message and the actual points that you
want to make, so find your own stories and you might use a story like the
starfish story to come up with, well, what has happened in my life that is similar
to that or what else would illustrate that point in another, in an equally or a
differently effective way. So find your own stories. While you're considering
stories and illustrations think about stories that are somehow remarkable or
humorous that stand out in some way, something that's bigger than life,
something that you wouldn't expect. If I were to send you out into the parking
lot here at my office and ask you to just notice what cars are out there and
then come back in and if I were to ask you, did you notice the white Toyota?
You might think through, there were a lot of cars out there, I think about half of
them were white, probably a percentage of those were Toyota's, what do you mean?
What are you talking about? What if I were to ask you, hey, did you notice the
pink Hummer? Oh yeah, you notice that one for sure. See, it
sticks out, it's bigger than life, it's different from what you would expect, so
consider that as you're coming up with examples or stories to support your
points and then you add those stories in each of these three points that you've
come up. In addition to having stories that stand out, you can use certain kinds
of mnemonics. Now a mnemonic is a memory trick, it helps someone to remember or
encode the information that you're giving them. One of the common ways that
I might use mnemonic in a speech, let's say you got three
points, okay? What if I wanted to make a point about positive psychology or my
three points in positive psychology are positivity, optimism, and perspective?
Let's just say that I pick those as my three points. I'm going to come up with
stories or illustrations that support each of those three things and then I
might put a mnemonic on it that helps you remember it, something that makes it
pop in your mind. I just gave you the mnemonic. POP, Positivity, Optimism and
Perspective. So using the first letter of each of those words, I just made it POP
for you so that you can, later on, you can remember, "Oh yeah, he said something about
POP." You know, what did the P stand for, what did the O stand for. This is called
a mnemonic. You might use a word like I just shared with you, that's an example,
you might use locations that people are familiar with, you can say, "Imagine with
me that you're going down the hallway and you notice this room and then that
room and then this room." See, that's a that's more of, we call that a low sire,
look kind of mnemonic, which helps people to attach it to a particular place and then
that is what triggers their memory. So those are just a few examples of what
I'm calling mnemonic devices that you can use to help people remember the
points that you're making. You've got your three points, right? You've got
stories and illustrations and content to support those three points.
When you're organizing your talk, put your second most powerful point first,
Your second most powerful point first. Does that sound a little weird?
Here's why. You're gonna save the most powerful point for last,
that's your anchor position, that's the point that people are going to remember
the most as they remember your speech or the talk that you gave.
So your three points, you're gonna use your second most powerful point first,
you're gonna use your most powerful point last. So if there's a story you
really like and it's attached to one of those points, save that for the last.
You want to close strong. There's also what we sometimes refer to in the speaking
industry is, the roller coaster. Little roller coaster of emotions, you want to
take them up you, want to take them down, not too far, you don't want to leave
people too far down, so your story if it's a kind of a troubling, difficult
kind of a story, you want to bring him back up after that so that there's
always this kind of up and down in the emotion and the intensity of the speech
and we could probably get into a lot more detail on that but that gives you
the sense. Now since I've mentioned the emotional roller coaster, let me share
with you another thought that came from my friend, Dan Clark, again Hall of Fame,
amazing, fabulous speaker and he said that the really good speeches,
the ones that really have the best impact have three effects on people, it causes
them to laugh, you think about the speech as you remember there's something
in there that tickled your humor a little bit, okay? Laugh, think because you
really want to have an impact on how people are thinking, that's probably the
reason you're giving the speech in the first place and third, Dan said, cry. Do we
really want to make people cry in our talk? Well maybe and if not cry, you want
them to feel something, some kind of emotional movement that gets them to not
only remember what you said but perhaps commit to do something differently after
they've heard you speak. Laugh, think, and cry or feel something.
The best speeches accomplished all three.
As you look at your three points, as you look at the purpose of your speech,
remember it's not about you, it's about that audience that you're speaking to
and then as you craft the content of that speech, consider humor, you want them
to laugh, make sure that you're giving them something to think about
and something that they can feel so that there's an emotional connection to that
talk. I know that's a quick overview, there's other techniques, obviously, and
strategies. Coaching is enormously helpful because we get stuck in our own
way of thinking and it's helpful to have someone else who can take a look at that
and kind of, not just along help us get out of our own way and associating.
Like with the National Speakers Association, there are local chapters all over,
who are there for that very purpose, to help people in the development of their
speaking abilities and business groups like Toastmasters, where you can get
together and practice those skills and get some feedback, all of those things
are helpful. Keep in mind the rule of three using your own stories as much as
you can. Get them to laugh, think, and feel something. You're gonna have a great
speech.
Speaking, it's not as fearful as you might think,
there are some simple things that you can do. Thanks for being here at
Live On Purpose TV, remember to subscribe and share.
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