Hello everybody its Elisa here
And I'm an eating disorder recovery coach helping you recover from an eating disorder and today's topic
I want to actually answer one of your questions or video requests for me
And I would be very happy to talk about it because this is something that I can talk about my own experience
yeah, and I have some pretty good tips for you and
Also the first thing I want to say is that many people can't recover on their own, and this is totally okay
And you don't have to feel bad about it. You need to ask help, but the fact is that even when you get
recovery help and go through a treatment or something
then even...it's most likely the
to get to full recovery you still need to kind of do it on your own like after coming from a treatment center often
so many people
relapse they go back to restriction so even for you if you have asked help
if you got support for your recovery then even for you this video is important to get you to actually to full recovery and
Yeah, so I want to talk about my own experience because I recovered on my own
from my eating disorders, bulimia and orthorexia and also overexercising and
just like the extreme dieting and stuff so the first thing... and I have some things written down so I will
sometimes look down to my notes. So the first thing
I want to say is that you have to develop this particular
mindset for yourself in recovery and this mindset is like you have to become your own
cheerleader, you have to become your own best friend, you have to become your own recovery coach
who will support you through this process
and especially in those bad days because recovery is hard, in recovery you're gonna have bad days
in recovery you will feel negative you have all of this fears and emotions come up
So especially on those bad days you have to notice what is your mindset
Because you can't only recover on good days you have to keep on recovering
especially and on the bad days as well because this is exactly the moment when the eating sorter will try to
You know like have these kind of negative thoughts about yourself
you misinterpret that those thoughts are you and you shame yourself, you quilt yourself. You are so negative
towards yourself, you bash yourself,
you talk down to yourself
and this is not you, you have to recognize as this is the eating disorder trying to push you back into the
like that restriction
But to get over this you have to develop this mindset that even in those negative days
You're gonna support yourself through it
as a best friend and what I mean is that it doesn't mean that you need to be happy all the time
It doesn't mean that you can't have a bad day
But actually like how to support yourself through those bad days as a best friend would
They would support your they would tell you that they love you they care about you
They want to help you
They would maybe encourage you to be proactive do something about it
And they will tell you the truth that you need to still keep on recovering despite that you have bad days
So you really have to notice your mindset
That you don't go into this like eating disorder thinking and just like being so negative even more negative about yourself
when you have a bad day, but actually like how to
how to instead... instead of focusing on the negativity how to instead focus on
The solution. Okay, I have a bad day
What can I do about it? What can I learn from this? How can I grow stronger from this experience?
And this is how you will support yourself through recovery because recovery is very hard
But having this mindset of being your own best friend your own coach, your own cheerleader
This is really like what helped me go through
the hard parts of recovery.
And the next thing is that you have to develop this another skill
And this skill what I'm talking about is that...
in recovery we have our biggest fears coming up, our biggest fears are manifested
you know the extreme hunger,
the fear of "binging", the fear of weight gain, everything will come up
And you will see your body
kind of changing, your appetite is maybe so big you crave all of those like "unhealthy food", "junk food",
Like your biggest fears all are just in front of you
but you have to develop this skill of
seeing the fear, feeling the fear, but going towards the fear
and going through the fear until the fear will dissolve
because if you
don't develop the skill then what happens is that
as soon as you are afraid to do something, as soon as you are faced with the extreme extreme hunger, as soon as you see
the weight going up - you panic and you go back to your eating disorder and you relapse
But actually you don't understand that the fear... all of this fear comes from your eating disorder and all of this fear is irrational fear
You have to kind of like... you have to go against your brain basically
And this is how you recover from the fear, this is how the fear will go away and this is
why the saying of "Feel the fear and do it anyway"
holds very much truth in recovering you literally have to be okay with being scared,
feeling the fear, you have to be willing to go into the feeling of feeling so uncomfortable
so scared, so anxious
but you must keep on going, and there is the other saying of like if you go through hell then keep going
because only this way it will pass because... and also I have done another video about like why you need to get
uncomfortable in the recovery
And I will link it here so look this video where I explain like why you need to go into the uncomfortable feeling
and this is literally like a skill to develop
in recovery because
Yeah, like if you do it on your own
there's nobody to do it for you nobody to push you into that like doing what's uncomfortable and letting your body you know like
have the extreme hunger
let your body gain weight if it needs to, it's normal, its natural, and you have to kind of like accept the fear
and keep on going because only this way the fear, in time, it will dissolve.
And another tip is that you have to make recovery your number one priority
I'm not telling you to
not to your daily stuff you need to do but
recovery needs to be your top priority. If you're only willing to invest
Like little bit every day to recovery, or from a scale from zero to ten
you're only a level of five commitment to your recovery. You won't get hundred percent results you won't get the full recovery so
recovery needs to become your top number one priority in your life
And yes, it means that you have to kind of like fit it in to each day
I'm not going to say it's gonna be super easy super convenient to you of course recovery is not convenient
This is not how it works
But you have to make the recovery in the forefront of your mind every day
Like you have to focus on recovery, and you can't only recover
When you feel motivated to do so,
you can't only recover when you have another relapse, you can't only recover when you have a good day,
but when the bad day comes you relapse and you feel like oh fuck this thing, and I can't keep going... sorry about that
Yeah, I just get so passionate about this
You can't only recover when it's convenient to you,
you can't only recover when you have a free day
and you have free time to focus on recovery. You have to even recover on your hardest days possible
Yeah, recovery needs to be your number one priority
But also I want to remind you that eating disorder lasts for a lifetime
But recovery is only temporary
And if you get this... if you put the recovery you're number one focus it's only until you get to full recovery
after that
Focus on whatever else you want to focus on
But just give yourself this time to fully be in recovery, focus on recovery
Because this is the fastest way to get over the eating disorder and to recover
But if you're only willing to invest little time here and there then yeah
you would just like prolong your recovery - I don't know like ten years
Maybe you will never get there if you don't commit to full recovery hundred percent you will never get to hundred percent
so yeah
And the next information that really helped me to
Support myself through it because I must admit that many times I thought that I am crazy one
Everybody else who is dieting, just "eating clean" or whatever like they're the normal ones
Me with my eating disorder with my bloating with like no exercise
I am the only crazy one and to get this... I needed so much
reassurance in my recovery and this is why I do these videos because I want to give you this
constant reassurance that you are not crazy,
you need to keep going, you are doing the right thing and this is what I needed as well despite recovering on my own
I couldn't give this to myself like all the time
And that's why I seeking information about recovery for me was like one of the best things that help me
go through those times of like self-doubts and worry about food and eating and my weight
And I got most information from the internet like in today's world the Internet is an amazing place
And I literally recovered
Thanks to the internet
I can say... and yes people say that like a "doctor Google" is not a real doctor
But for me "doctor Google" really helped me
And I really don't want you to get any wrong ideas
Because you do need to ask help from the professionals and stuff
but I just want to say that we underestimate how much good information is out there already and just
By reading about others people's experiences, how they recovered, seeking information about how my body works
You know why the weight gain happens, why the extreme hunger happens
reading forums, reading somebody else's comments and replies and
Question and answers, like it really helped me to
Keep my sanity
In recovery and keep going despite all of that
maybe they're outside information I got about, you know, like the dieting and the weight obsession and everything so
yeah, seeking the recovery related information
was really important for me to help myself go through recovery.
And the last thing I want to mention is that develop some kind of like support system around you whether it's your partner
Maybe your family, your friends
Maybe even online groups recovery groups or some forums or even my videos
they can help you in your recovery journey
whatever you can do to just like have more like minded people around you and people who are positive people who support you
Yeah, and if you can develop this kind of support system around you, whether it's only one person like it doesn't matter
It's still better than nothing
Yeah and make sure
you reach out to them, you talk with them, you ask for help
Yes, so my battery is dying out soon
But I want to wrap this up very quickly
So if you don't know then I also offer recovery coaching if you're interested the link is down in the description
work with me
Yeah, find out more, but yeah
I really hope these tips help you in your recovery journey
If you are recovering on your own or just when you feel like you want to support your own recovery
Yeah, so thank you so much for watching and see you next time. Bye!
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