So, I don't know if it's obvious or not
but I'm the kind of person who's afraid of
most things
social interactions, heights
the decay of modern political discourse.
Spooky.
And I'm aware that some of these fears are
a little irrational, like no one thinks that it's
weird that I'm a little afraid of cars given the fact that
it's the leading cause of death for people ages
15 to 29, and I'm 20.
uh-oh. But suddenly I'm weird for engaging
in a staring contest with a giant bug with wings
for an hour because i was waiting for my roomate
to come back from the store with bug spray
because after seeing the bug, I yelled at her
to go buy some bug spray. It was really big
it was like this big!
Or like how when I was 10 years old, I was lying in
bed and looked up at the ceiling to find a spider.
Ah! Forced myself to go to sleep only to wake up
the next morning to find that the spider had vanished
So I did the rational thing and told
everybody that the spider had laid eggs
in my ear, and its little spider babies
were gonna eat my brain, just said my final
goodbyes, wrote out a will. I owned
nothing though, because I was 10 years old.
These fears have haunted me my entire
life. And even though I'm used to them,
it still gets kind of embarrassing. So I
figured now was as good a time to
figure out what the heck is wrong
with me. And when it comes to mental disorders
the authoritative guide has got to be,
the diagnostic and statistical manual of
mental disorders... or the DSM.
The DSM recognizes three kind of
phobias: social phobia, or social
anxiety, which is where you fear being negatively
judged in a social environment.
Agoraphobia, which is where you experience
fear in situations where you feel you
can't escape, and specific phobias
where you're afraid of a specific object or
situation. That object or situation is
known as the phobic stimulus.
And specific phobias are where you might find
fears that seem irrational. If you have a
specific phobia, the phobic stimulus might
make you feel anxious, and you
actively try to avoid it, even if it
doesn't seem rational. And this fear
needs to persist over 6 months.
In some cases, even impairing your ability to
function. Also it can't better be explained
by another illness. The worst part is, is that
when you have a specific phobia, you
probably know that it isn't rational.
But your brain just runs through the most
dangerous and unrealistic situations,
making it feel more and more real.
Your heart starts pounding, your hands
start to sweat, and your breathing
gets shallow. You might have a panic attack.
It's happened to me more than a few times,
and it sucks.
Because objectively, it's kind of
silly, there are people with coulrophobia,
the fear of clowns, or trypophobia,
the fear of clustered holes.
or even omphalophobia,
the fear of... belly buttons.
It might not make sense, but you can't stop
the fear reaction from exploding
inside of you, but why?
Why do phobias develop?
Well even though there are some genetic and
environmental correlations, phobias
usually develop through trauma.
Whether it's one you personally experience,
or one you witness. These
situations can be violent, or
sexual, or one that you just had
a panic attack in and just ruined
every future interaction.
And these usually occur in early childhood,
which is why, if you have a specific phobia
you probably can't remember,
why. It may have happened so long
ago but your response is ingrained in
the way that you live. It is incredible
how much a single moment
can affect the rest of your life in
a way that you cannot expect or
explain. And unfortunately, if a
phobia exists into adulthood, you're
probably never getting rid of it.
Dope!
But there are some treatments,
meditation and relaxation techniques to help
calm down around something scary, or
cognitive behavioural therapy to help
rationalize your response, or
most popularly, exposure therapy.
Where you face your fear. Gradually.
I wish I remembered that part!
But since I'm not quite ready to even look
at a picture of a spider.
Exposure therapy take one.
okay,
why am I doing this? So that basic
goal is that I am going to
look at a picture of a spider on my
phone and see if I can do it for 5 seconds.
Spiders are my fear,
this is my nightmare, but I wrote the
script, so I guess I'm
doing it!
I could've just not written this in.
S-P-I-D-E-R.
Spiderman Homecoming. That's what I wanted!
No no no. Just searching up spiders
and... go! I'm gonna let you look
first 'cause I don't want to look.
Oh, they're blurry on the preview
but i can tell, I could tell
that they're there. I know it's
stupid but I'm scared it's just gonna jump
off the screen and be like, "Ha ha
gocha!" Alright I'm looking at my phone. 3... 2...
1... NOPE!
Nono.
There's not reason for them to have that
many legs. Change of plan, we're going
with my second greatest fear:
heights.
So I went to Gaisberg mountain and
jumped off of it.
Let me explain.
This is Walter, he's been
paragliding for over 30 years and
it was his job to make sure I
didn't die.
He's also literally the best.
So, after falling 4226 feet, or
1288 metres if you wanted to use the units of
measurement god intended.
Am I still afraid of heights? Yeah.
The entire time I was just
succumbing to gravity, my brain was just
switching between two modes.
This isn't real, all of this is fake.
And, ah yes, so this is
how I die. But really the second one
kind of came out as: [yelling]
Like at one point, Walter just went
"Oh no!" which are the two words you could ever
say if you are in control
of somebody's life, but
maybe staying scared
is kind of the point. Maybe facing your
fear isn't that you just stopped
being afraid, it's
just that you found the courage,
or the bravery, or the
stupidity to
just keep going. Maybe
I will always have that sinking feeling
in my gut whenever I look at a bug
or out a window. But maybe
I'm one step closer to
not letting that stop me.
Now what about you guys? What is you biggest
fear, let me know down below. I hope you liked
this video, I am still playing around
with this new style, but I hope you like it.
I do. Speaking of which, if every
thing goes according to plan, in one
week's time, I will be premiering
the documentary I made in partnership with
Samsung.
I premiered it in real life at
Buffer Festival LA, speaking of which
there's a Getty Image of me from
the red carpet, I can't afford
the licensing rights to this picture of
me! Didn't think we'd make it this far.
So there are seven days until
The Sourtoe Cocktail. I will be
dropping behind the scenes stories, footage
and teasers on my Instagram story and
Twitter, so make sure you're following me there.
But either way, have a lovely day!
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