Hey YouTube, Jim here!
Welcome to Top10Archive!
Nothing makes you want to do something more than being told not to, right?
Trust me when I tell you, though, that there is some simple advice you'd really want to
follow.
For example, things to never, EVER Google.
All of this started, as most things do, on a Reddit thread which listed seemingly safe
things to google that were actually totally scarring.
How's your gag reflex?
Walk down this path with us at your own risk as we highlight the Top Ten Things You Should
Never Google.
Before we get started, why not join the ranks of an archivist today by clicking that subscribe
button and notification bell.
If you wound up enjoying this video, let us know by leaving us a thumbs up and finally,
let us know what you regret "googling" the most in the comment section below!
10.
NBA Stats or WebMD?
Number 10 is something you could find in any sports lover's google history.
The NBA Orlando Magic's Evan Fournier could conjure up a variety of stats, a date of birth,
a photo of the young athlete.
However, if you forget his first name, be warned that what you'll find is a long way
away from sports.
See, his last name is an old word for Breadmaker, now called Boulanger, which is coincidentally
a type of gangrene that affects genitals.
From NBA star to an ancient name for french bread to a genital-eating disease.
So if you forgot his name, it's Evan.. just always google his full... you know what?
Yeah, maybe just catch him on Sports Center.
9.
Harlequin Ichthyosis This is one of those cases that I'm not
sure how or why or by whom it was discovered.
Like, who was randomly smashing their face on a keyboard and Google said "did you mean
Harlequin Ichthyosis?" because there's no other way to stumble upon such a search.
Either way, if you really want to know, this is a disease seen in children whose skin looks
like plates of white skin separated by deep cracks.
It's particularly sad because it affects newborns who are vulnerable to infection and they require
constant care to protect their skin.
8.
Fast Food Surprise Beyond the disgusting things that are already
legally placed in our food, fast food can also throw some surprises sometimes.
Googling "things found in fast food" will lead you down a hole of pretty insane things
that go beyond (without excluding) fingers, skin, and animals, and all the way to syringes
and blood!
There, now you know, so you won't go searching for disgusting photos right?
Of course you will, you're our friends!
But seriously, if you get queasy rather easily, or can't watch Saw movies while eating chilli
like I can, then maybe it's not for you.
7.
'L-Cysteine in food' L-Cysteine isn't your mom's friend from
college that you know as "auntie" who comes around every year for Christmas.
It's apparently an ingredient used in commercially manufactured bread.
You know, bread, everyone's best friend!
Whether it's freshly baked, rye, sourdough, or the little stale croissants from Costco..
Except when they're... made from human hair?
We're not even making this up.
If you Google "L-Cysteine in food," you'll see that this ingredient is mentioned online
as being commercially produced and synthesized using human hair from Chinese salons.
This particular Google search brings us more questions than answers for us at Top 10 Archive.
Like, what's so good about hair?
Why Chinese hair salons?
Both dyed and natural?
Can we just use local hair and at least ignore what's in our food while supporting local?
If you want to stay away from the confusion we're currently in, just don't Google
it and eat your bread in the bliss of your ignorance.
6.
Nikki Catsouras Death Photos Nikki Catsouras was a normal teenager that
may or may not have gone on to live a very ordinary life... had she not gotten into an
absolutely devastating car wreck.
Even after the accident, it could have stayed at just a shocking obituary and intense local
news.
"Young woman drives father's Porsche into toll both".
Once the photos of her car wreck were leaked, due to some inappropriate emailing of the
photos within law enforcement, they went viral.
Needless to say, they're beyond your worst nightmares.
There is hair, blood, and... well, we'll stop there.
As we all know, once pictures are up on the internet, especially of this fashion, they're
almost impossible to take down.
Despite the family's best efforts, you can still find them on Google today... but we
don't recommend that you do..
5.
Huntsman Spider For someone who's afraid of spiders, googling
any specific kind is out of the question.
For someone a little less squeamish and more curious, tarantulas might tickle their fancy.
The Huntsman Spider?
This one is for someone that really has a fascination for disgusting spider photos.
See, the spider is frightening both in concept and in appearance.
They've been called "giant crab spiders," "wood spiders," "rain spiders," and
"lizard-eating spiders."
Notice that they've never been called "adorable," "friendly," or "approachable."
This is because they're best known for size, speed, and mode of hunting.
Worse yet than the photos of these creatures are the videos, which vary from gross to just
weird, like Australians holding them like they're fluffy bunnies.. but then again, is
there any animal that an Australian won't play with?
4.
Brian Peppers Despite his seemingly kid-friendly name, or
perhaps because of it, this man is disturbing the internet.
First of all, he's a registered sex offender in the state of Ohio.
Second, he suffers from a physical deformity.
A photo from 1998 circled the internet and popped up when his name is searched since
2005.
As the internet does, they've speculated on what the deformity might be, the theories
ranging from Apert syndrome (known for skull malformations) to Crouzon syndrome.
For awhile there was speculation that the images were fake, but an investigation team
contacted the Ohio Attorney General's office and confirmed the picture as real.
It's also confirmed that Brian passed away in February of 2012 at the age of 43.
3.
Mr. Hands Another one of those where you're left wondering
who discovered it and how.
The backstory is colorful, to say the least.
Kenneth Pinyan was just a Boeing Engineer with a weird hobby.
If he had been into knitting or watercolor, perhaps we wouldn't be here, but alas he
loved to make animal porn under the artistic name, you guessed it, Mr. Hands.
In a previous life, Pinyan was just a man with a wife and kids.
Then he had a motorcycle accident which deprived him of certain sensations that turned to extreme
sexual practices, like sex with horses.
Then he went further and joined a community of, um, filmmakers.
This would just be gross if it weren't for the fact that he died during one of these...
artistic sessions.
The video of sessions previous to his death can be found online under the name.. you know
what, we're not going to enable that.
2.
Four Girls Finger Painting I can definitely see a sweet grandmother trying
to Google this, but if you love your grandmother at all, you have to tackle her to the ground
before this happens.
And break her hip if you need too - it's much better than watching her head explode.
As you might imagine, this Google search will come up with results much more disturbing
than children doing crafts.
Four girls finger painting is a second coming, let's call it, of the shocking 2 girls 1
cup video, which, if you haven't seen, you should also never Google.
Basically, it's lots of bodily fluids being used as finger paint on each other's bodies.
The sheer thought of this alone should dissuade you from searching it, but if we know some
of you as well as we think, I'm sure we'll be treated to more in-depth details in the
comment section.
1.
Eel Girl Finally, number one!
I didn't think I'd make it this far, guys..
If you've retained your lunch thus far, this might be the one where you lose it.
The "eel girl" video, with all its derivatives, including "eel girls" and "eel soup"
are a trend featuring Japanese women and eels.
They're not cooking, they're not swimming, they're not marine biologists, these women.
They just use funnels to insert the animals into each body parts that we don't need to
mention.
And though they're still not cooking for the duration of the video, they do later engage
in the eating of said eels.
Has humanity always been this gross?
Something tells me it has, but, to be fair, you could also find the movie called "Eel
girl" under this search, a film from 2008, where a scientist obsesses over a half-eel/half
woman creature he's studying for research.
So, if you want something you can watch on a full stomach, try that one instead.
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