and I'm so happy come back to my channel if you're new here make sure you hit the
subscribe button because that would be pretty cool this is actually so weird
because I honestly headphones in over a month
just going from posting twice a week to once a week to not at all
it's pretty like dramatic for me and it's just weird turning on a camera
sitting down and just talking to it and I honestly want to look at the
viewfinder but like I'm not going to like I am fully I'm trying not to I
can't just not post for a month and then just post like a photo on your
team and then like not talk about it because I don't want to I don't want
that to be normal I don't want that to go on address I definitely want to talk
about it and just bring up why and I'll just give you some little excuse I just
want to talk and just catch up on my life because I think we're like best
friends here and I just want to catch it with my life and I want to tell you
about it and we will tell you all about what's gonna going on
so let's get to it I don't really know I haven't posted and I guess I blasting a
post it was my birthday haul which I felt which took me a while to film just
because I film that once and I didn't like how it turned outside I film it
again I still don't like how that video turned out but like I had to post it
because I didn't want to film it a third time and I know you guys really wanted
that video and then after that I just didn't have time to post I remember I
really wanted to film another video when I didn't have any ideas to and have time
because I that's the week when I started making a video every week but not for
you to it was for school I have like violence like me at school like it's
kind of weird just I don't know it's like weird because I still don't process
the fact that like people like the entire school
so yeah so every Thursday I do that but then I film Monday Tuesday Wednesday and
edit every single one of those days for Thursday's segment and then I edit
someone else's segment which is also weekly so I'm basically making two days
a week and they're not even going to youtube and you guys must think like I'm
just gone and like I don't care about you which is totally not true at all I
saw the case and then I think after that I just how ideas and then I think I won
and then I had a I had to make up collection pre-filmed I had a few videos
from those are just so bad they're not there pre-filming more uploaded for a
reason because I didn't like them they weren't quality content and I plus I
just realized like this whole content that I was putting up just wasn't what I
wanted to do it's not what I want to portray myself as it's know when I want
to upload on my channel because it's not me um you know like I get ready with the
video is not gonna help someone it's not gonna like help anyone in any way should
perform like I don't understand um what I can't even sit through my own videos
but then just having like thinking that someone else sits do my videos and
watches them I don't understand it blows my mind because I can't even sit through
my own videos and I want to post something that I can actually sit
through and then after that happened I thought I was finally able to film I
like was so happy I was giving I was going to film and of course I get sick
and I've been sick for over two weeks now I still don't have a placement that
much and it might throw up still hurts but this is as good as it gets
um so like last week I really wanted to film and the week before I really wanted
just didn't have a voice like I couldn't do it because why would I show my
talking to you if I can't talk absolutely your sentence and then I
guess like out there I didn't have any ideas didn't have time then I got Nick
it's not like you're gonna have excuse time around okay so like now into the
topic of like where I want to take this channel in like what
kind of videos I want to put out there because I feel like I'm not putting out
the videos that I want to be because honestly I I want this channel because I
know I'm younger viewers like I know my viewers are very young and I'm not
saying I think if you're older like something there's something wrong with
that I'm just saying I feel like most of the viewers that soundtrap me and talked
to me are either my age or younger um and I feel like I want to be a bigger
sister to them because I've never like been a big sister so I feel like this is
my chance to and I just want to give advice I want to help people out in the
ways that I can and by that I just like want to share like some things I like I
want to have this like story times but like some stories are just like um like
let me know what kind of story trends you want you what kind of advice videos
you want to see um also like next month I will be officially two years vegan and
I definitely want to make a video about that because I get so many questions a
day asking me why like how do you do it like why did you even do it and everyone
like either thinks I've done it for like two weeks or they think I've done it for
my whole life and no it's barely been two years so time has gone by I can make
a whole video I'm like how I fell and just doesn't want to do that
also like Christmas is coming really soon and I'm very excited for that I
definitely can't wait to just squirrel my friends and family I that's what I
love about Christmas um but I don't know let me let me know some videos that you
guys want to see also please tell me what set up what room you want me to
film I do you like this room or the other I think it the other rooms better
but like I just decided to stay in here because I feel like this is a little bit
more cozy to me because um what else I don't want to talk about I want to talk
about so many different things I wanted my videos to just help people out I
don't want them to just be pointless I enjoy making videos but like I also
want them to have a purpose and not just be there to be stupid because there are
a lot of dumb videos on the internet and a lot of scripted things and I just I
want to be I'm gonna be real like I do okay
and I don't really know I'm going with this but I just feel like I want to take
this in a whole different route and I think this is the change that I need
also I feel like I just suck as like a I don't want to say like a social media
person Billy I guess that's I don't know because I had a blog okay
um when I was in eighth grade started a tumblr that has a couple thousand
followers act like awesome now I don't know how and I was just post about
Washington Post daily then I quit that because I got tired of it um I still
support lash but like I just got tired of posting every single day you know and
then this year I started a blog I haven't posted a blog post in a while I
deleted a bunch of on post I really want to like restart that but like make it a
whole different element but I have to like fine I have to like really think
about what I really want to post like you know um and then with this I can
post often if I'm inspired and I just you know and then Twitter I feel like
and I just I'm terrible at Twitter but Balbir Twitter snapchat um I think I
don't post enough which um also I don't even I feel like : I just realized I
haven't been on public on snapchat like people can shout at me but they
can't see my stories which like I mean my they can't I mean you guys can't see
me stories which is so dumb like why didn't I think that through so now you
guys are gonna be able to see my stories so add me on snapchat and Instagram I
never post on Instagram and I feel like that's so bad I just what I hate taking
pictures hitting pictures of myself I hate being
in pictures so I think I'm gonna need to work on that
so I could be more active or like just everything because that's what I want to
do I want to be more active I want to just help people out and can't do that
if I'm not posting anything and I look like I'm deceased so yeah it isn't did
this video make any sense I don't really know I don't know I just don't want to
feel like I disappointed you guys or anything um because I don't wanna say
feel like it is appointment just like a little bit but hopefully you guys can
forgive me and you didn't unsubscribe yet but yeah I love you guys thank you
so much for everything and I'm gonna start posting it twice a week now my
name uploading schedule is gonna be Tuesdays and Fridays
um I'll play and keep that up hope I can keep it up I also was thinking of like
doing vlog piss but like not like vlogging every single day in December
but like just posting every single day in December but I just don't know I'm
gonna do that I feel like I would have to pre film a lot of videos in November
which stresses me out a little bit but like I feel like I want to do that but
we'll see if I even end up doing that as I am I've been going through a void like
not like oh it's like I'm going to go up like I don't know I just like life has
been happening and I wish I could tell you guys all about it which I probably I
know I and will end up telling you I know about it that'll probably be in an
interface video so yeah um definitely always leave me suggestions in the
comments of what you guys want to see from me like I really do want to tell
some stories and tell us it give some advice so let me know what you guys want
to see so yeah I love you guys so so much make sure you follow me on all
social medias make sure you subscribe make sure you turn on the medication Mel
and yeah I love you
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