Understanding and overcoming depression requires that you to take action, not just a pill.
I have a controversial question for you: do you want a solution or do you want sympathy?
Think carefully because only one answer will bring about the results you seek.
If you are happy being depressed, then that is your comfort zone of choice.
If you have subscribed to my channel and watched some of my videos,
you will recall that I advocate personal responsibility.
For the most part, antidepressant drugs don't work.
Why is that you ask? Well, I'm glad you are asking these questions.
Unless you have a medical condition, you do not need psychotropic medication.
Just as we don't take anti-inflammatories for hair loss,
we also shouldn't take drugs for psychological challenges that we are facing.
We need to differentiate between genuine psychiatric afflictions, and psychological challenges.
Psychiatric cases are treated with drugs. These are for lack of a better term: Brain doctors.
Psychologists treat personality disorders.
Sometimes there is an overlap, but that is not nearly as common as people like to think it is.
If you are sawing off a limb, you need to treat the cause of the pain, and not the symptom.
To stop the pain, you stop the sawing. Taking a painkiller will stop the pain, but not the cause.
This is what happens when you choose to take antidepressants instead of facing your challenges.
It's an avoidance of real life.
What did people do a hundred years ago?
They certainly didn't put toxic chemicals into their bodies. Why do you?
Right there, you are showing a tremendous lack of self-love.
Love yourself enough to say no to the drugs that you don't really need.
Lose the crutch and a whole new world opens up. Yes, you will need to do the work.
It's called living.
All antidepressants do is dull the senses, and that is not living; that's existing.
We need to stop making pseudo psycho ailments fashionable.
We are enabling a comfort zone for people to cosy up to.
Oh, I know this will bring out the pro-pharmaceutical squad to tell me I'm an idiot.
Do you know what? I'm nearly 50 years old, and on this, I do know what I'm talking about.
Whom do you wish to believe?
Someone who stands little to gain by telling the truth,
or a massive corporation run by the stockholders, all eager for self-enrichment?
Again, do you want a way forward, or to wallow in misery? There is no cure-all, but there is a solution.
It requires that you take responsibility for your life.
Seek out a proactive psychologist who will assist you in facing your challenges head on.
Think about a worst-case apocalyptic scenario: what if there were no drugs for you to take?
Would you just lie down and wait for wild animals to eat you alive,
or would you deal with the situation as it happens?
This is how you should tackle each day as it arrives.
When you pop a pill saying, "Oh I can't cope,"
you are really saying that you are dependent on it.
This implies a victim mentality and a refusal to take charge.
As with any crutch, what are you going to do without it?
Well, do exactly that and stop taking the drugs that you don't need.
Unfortunately, the mental healthcare system exists to make an insane amount of money.
Stop buying into the hype.
At best, the average depressed person needs to get a life, a real life, not just a drugged up existence.
These drugs are for proper psychiatric medical cases.
Over 90% of people on these dangerous drugs don't even properly qualify.
If you are one of the people with a true medical condition,
you can take the medication and still be proactive about it.
Consider different professional opinions, and pursue new and unique methods for treatment.
Look for ways that you can reduce the symptoms of your ailment.
Seek out natural ways to address the imbalances in your body
so that you are not dependent on the chemicals forever.
Medication should be taken for the short term wherever possible.
I'm standing here before you telling you all of this not for the controversy, but because it's true.
If I wanted plenty of views, I would make a safe video that wouldn't make anyone uncomfortable.
It might even inspire them ... for all of five minutes.
I wanted to challenge you to change your views.
Most importantly, I want you to go on to lead a vibrant life, free of narcotics.
Change your Mind, and Change your Life. The results are almost immediate.
If this brand of motivation gels with you, subscribe today.
To receive notifications don't forget to click the bell icon.
If you know of anyone who needs this sort of video, please share it on.
Thank you for watching my video.
For more infomation >> Understanding and Overcoming Depression | Antidepressants Don't Work - Duration: 4:55. -------------------------------------------
DON'T TRUST YOUR CAR SPEEDOMETER AT SIMOLA - Duration: 4:15. 
ola youtube my name is Ricardo lino and I'm a wheel addict I'm in the top of
similar Hill which is a famous place for some car races they do like a famous
Hill Climb called the similar Hill Climb the floor is really really rough and I'm
with my family and some friends in the car so when I try to do the hill and
just for safety reasons I'm gonna use this jacket because I don't have any
other protections other than a helmet so I'm gonna try to put the clamp with a
GoPro in the car so wish me good luck and come with me
Yama's is not going to protect anything doesn't even have films Plan B let's
make this work
not the most
I make it work
it's gonna work okay do this wish me good luck okay on top of the hill now
it's done
and that was it according to the drama I was like 85 km/h and it is super super
rough which it super happy still like the adrenaline is still pumping anyway I
hope you guys enjoyed this video if you did enjoy this video do not forget to
give me some thumbs up thumbs down if you didn't like it I don't know why but
anyway let me know what did you like about this video and don't forget to
subscribe to the channel if this is your first video well there will be a lot
more like this and just like I always say just don't forget why we all saw us
getting because it's fun and now I'm going next to my channel Cheers Garces
For more infomation >> DON'T TRUST YOUR CAR SPEEDOMETER AT SIMOLA - Duration: 4:15. -------------------------------------------
Meet the snails that don't need Cupid | Natural History Museum - Duration: 1:08. 
For more infomation >> Meet the snails that don't need Cupid | Natural History Museum - Duration: 1:08. -------------------------------------------
【Original】Please Don't Go【Lyric Video】 - Duration: 3:17. 
For more infomation >> 【Original】Please Don't Go【Lyric Video】 - Duration: 3:17. -------------------------------------------
Dont't Try This at Home! Idol Fitness Pt.2 - Duration: 34:25. 
Did I push it too far?
I wanted to show you guys as much as I can, so I think I pushed myself a little to far.
P.E. with Sori
Man, something's wrong today.
I'm sorry...
So... Tired...
I wanna pass out...
I particularly don't like arm workouts.
I don't have much arm strength.
I'm getting tired already.
So tired...
This can't be it...
I wanted to,
I wanted to show myself looking cool working out.
You'll end up like me if you don't do it consistently.
exteeend.
I shouldn't be like this.
I should meditate
I don't need to use this yoga mat anymore.
(To camera) Focus!
There we go.
I stood up, and start squatting.
first,
The squat that I'm going to show you is something I learned from
Yang Chiseung, a very popular trainer, have you guys heard of him?
Mr. Yang of "Bodyspace"
This is something I learned from him
It's a wide-stance squat,
but you don't want to put much tension to the side of the thighs,
and you don't want to develop those muscles.
That's not the goal of this sequence.
so, Once you come up after going down,
you should stop right here,
not all the way up.
This much, come back up with knees slightly bent,
and flex your hip muscles as you rise up.
The most important thing to remember when squatting is,
that you should be able to feel it in your hips.
You might proceed without feeling it, and you possibly wouldn't know initially,
but you can find the right spot.
Once you do, you should do every rep with the same physical sensation
to be effective.
It's meaningless if you only work out your legs. That's not the point.
Continuously paying attention to the tension in the hip muscles is the key.
Lemme demonstrate.
I usually do more than 20, but I want to show you other sequences too
I'm gonna hold here for a sec...
I can feel the tension in my thighs.
Make sure to loosen them up.
After this sequence,
for next,
spread your legs shoulder-width
shoulder width apart.
From this position,
like so,
Here's from the side.
That's unusually hard, today.
if you push yourself too hard,
you'd end up almost falling, just like me. So, please be careful.
It's important for your legs to be not bent like so when you sit down,
but if you push yourself too hard, then you might fall back, so try to maintain your balance.
....and done!
...and starting from one!
so I'm gonna place my legs closer,
legs, closer (but tip of feet apart)
but my legs are gonna spread apart as I go down, making a diamond.
And as you come back up,
You'd be able to feel the tension of "hip up"
on the interior hip muscles.
Even though I do this lightly,
I really try to focus on my buttocks.
so...
you cannot lose your momentum like me.
You should hit the gym even though you're tired.
Give yourself a short break,
Coming up next, I need to slim down inner thighs.
This is the sequence that does that.
As lift your leg
like so,
you'd feel burn in both your thigh and hips, catching two birds with one stone.
Regaining balance
I start to feel the pain.
20!
Have I pushed myself too far?
I wanted to show you guys as much as I can, so I think I pushed myself a little to far.
(Is the camera on focus?) (It is.)
So,
When you do this sequence,
It's not only great for your inner thighs, but also effective for your sides
and as you lift up your leg, force gets exerted on the other anchoring leg as well,
working out both of your hip muscles.
So this is a very good sequence
I recently
have been focusing on stretching and squatting exercises while standing up,
and I found out that this is also effective for improving balance
while lifting up one leg, this exercise is great for improving balance.
Maintaining balance deals with your core muscles, right?
This is one of the cheer-leader moves,
with your arms lifted and standing one legged,
move your other leg like so,
go forward and backward too, in a kicking motion.
For the other leg
hold and try to balance yourself.
And then, after you're done with that set,
try to maintain your balance,
by lifting up your leg all the way up.
after balancing,
like this, placing the same leg backwa-
the leg comes down, then goes backwards, like this.
Ah, feels good!
feels good, really!
That exerts lots of force to my legs.
After this,
hold it like so..
What is with me today?!
My body's condition isn't great, it seems.
I need to concentrate.
Oh, yeah! good!
I'm feeling the burn!
lift.. it... up! Balance!
Arms up,
and the leg, up!
Hold!
and then
backwards
Seems like i can't hold the balance,
I'm gonna use this as an aid.
Concentrate, Sori!
(Hoorah! I can do this!)
I'm definitely outta shape.
My shoulders are cramped.
What is wrong with me today?
Like this,
I repeat.
You got it?
Like so,
it improves
your flexibility,
Hip-up exercises, and arms that have been my focus,
I used to do this a lot too.
I really,
explained a lot of these routines
with no particular structure.
but I bet you could do it better than myself.
20 reps per set.
Generally with these routines,
excuse me for a moment.
oh, boy
My condition is not particularly great,
I dunno if this video will turn out okay.
Alright, for the last,
I will do a full-body exercise.
Can you guess what's it gonna be?
It is none other
than
planking!
(What's wrong with my legs T_T)
(Changing music)
3
2
1
(I'm back!)
So, the next exercise is
an exercise that works out
your entire body: Planking
It seems like I'm not explaining this to you guys
but actually putting myself through a test.
My set goal for today
is 1 minute.
I'm gonna try to plank for 1 minute.
I bet you guys know how to do this alread...
Spread your legs shoulder-width
place your elbows there
You shouldn't let your hips hang
too low nor too high
hanging too low or lifting too high are not permitted
Try to make your spine and legs a straight line.
I will try to maintain that posture for 1 minute.
Would I be able to pull it off?
I used to be able to do up to 3 minutes
Here I go!
You should evenly distribute
the force in your entire body.
You shouldn't rely on one side of the body.
maintain steady breaths
Focus.
3!
2!
1!
Times's up!
I'm super exhausted
Man, something's wrong today.
I'm so sorry.
So... Tired...
I wanna pass out.
Like so,
if you plank
your entire body feels it, thus a whole-body exercise.
you get lose weight on your arms,
along with your abs, your legs, and hip-line.
Also,
You can plank on the side as well. For a minute, go!
You can do it that way too,
also you can do it the other way as well.
Wow, I couldn't do planking well back in the day.
It was really hard.
I couldn't lift my body up initially, I kept on quivering and couldn't do it
Trying to maintain the posture consistently
that itself is a marginal improvement.
As time passes by,
your body will start to shake,
but if you repeat this 1 minute set consistently,
if you are able to repeat
that would be nice.
Since it works out your entire body.
I'm not sure,
if I have shown you guys all the exercises
that I know,
but I think I showed most of the routines that I know
I messed up a little here and there, but
For the last part,
I'm gonna use this foam roller,
With this,
I am going to do a couple exercises
that I learned from a pilates instructor in my trainee days.
So, the instructor taught me these.
Not only these are good workouts,
but also are great for relieving tense muscles too.
After a long workout,
I have used them to alleviate muscle pain.
So,
Since i squatted a lot today,
have I done many?
My thigh muscles are very sore,
This will relieve some of that.
That really hurts.
But I've gotta laugh it off.
even though it hurts, smiling heals.
Like this.
Like so
Ease out those quads and all the other thigh muscles.
All those muscle would be feeling super tense by now.
Like so, dang, my legs are reeally sore.
I haven't done this one in a while either...
if you do this,
The muscles that you've worked out from squats would
ease up and go away, wouldn't they?
You can also do the same on the side
roll it around the sides of pelvic bone
as much as you want
one more time with feeling
relieve those aching muscles.
You can do the same on the opposite side as well
Since I've done arm workouts too, I'm gonna use this roller to my arms like this.
roll your arms
back and forth
repeat the same motion over and over again to feel the effect.
I can feel it now too. With ones hands, they cannot usually massage themselves up to here.
And there are lots of areas that are tense what's within one's reach.
with one of these rollers, he/she can relieve stress on those parts with minimum effort.
You can turn around and do the other side as well.
once you're satisfied,
lie on your back
and ease up your neck muscles too.
Like so.
(Incomprehensible, sorry.)
positioning the roller here will help with your back muscles.
Like so, all across the back.
This feels so satisfying.
You can do the same with shoulders.
by rocking your body laterally back and forth
my shoulders feel really cramped
along with the back of my neck.
The same thing goes to the calves.
Like this
to rid of these tense feelings
The same goes to the other legs, nice and easy.
You can adjust to your own liking,
use the roller to cool down.
You will feel the effect
as you're doing it.
Once that's over,
this step will wrap things up.
For the wrap,
Ease up those neck muscles.
Same goes to the opposite side,
and the sides too.
Finally the legs.
and the same.
Finally, (and I mean it, this time.)
for those who have round shoulders
with head forward,
this posture is really bad.
I also suffer from the same, especially when I talk, I tend to lift my chin up too much,
and my neck/head leaning forward.
I don't particularly have a good posture
I will teach you an exercise that helps aligning your spine, shoulders, and back of your neck.
Stand up and spread your legs shoulder-width.
I'm gonna jerk my head and back down to the ground.
So, from here,
let the gravity do the work.
apply pressure on your toes with your fingers.
with knees bent,
Slowly rise as if each inch of your spine is slowly aligning, like lego pieces do.
My voice teacher taught me this.
I also learned this when I was doing pilates last time.
You're supposed to slowly straighten up every node of your spine.
I can't particularly do this well either, but as you "uncurl" yourself,
You'd feel each part of your spine straighten up,
joint by joint.
It's slowly but surely gets aligned, visualize that.
It might feel a little stiff.
Close your eyes, concentrate, and prevent the round shoulders.
Then you'd feel a sensation on your head as if it's suspended by something.
You can then achieve a perfect posture, completely aligned.
If your back was like this before,
This will fix numerous posture issues,
starting from the neck
making a straight line.
Pull your chin down
(Battery died)
Is it on?
Good.
So,
Like this,
try to align them all the way.
At this position, with shoulders down.
Also, don't try to pump up your chest too much, form a straight line.
Once you attempt to follow these criteria, you'd be able to achieve a perfect posture.
woow
At last, Sori's first
exercise video
has reached its end.
Did you guys enjoy watching it?
or was it painful for you too?
All the sequences and routines of
Stretches and exercises that I've shown you today
are the collection of routines that I've done
since I was a little girl,
I haven't shown all of them.
those were the ones that I found useful,
or have practiced relatively steadily.
However, to show you guys as much as I can,
I think I bit off more than I can chew.
So when you guys work out,
please consider your aptitude and
body condition.
don't push yourself too hard.
..and I
am trying to lose some excess fat around
my arms
and my thighs.
So, I do lots of squatting and arm workouts.
For the abs,
I think I'm lucky that I can tone my abs relatively easily.
Then I've gotten over-confident,
and I'm paying the price recently,
But with the exercise that I've shown you before, you can make shape your abs fairly quickly.
I can probably show you right now.
Maybe I can't?
I can't.
Even though my abs are gone,
even though they're gone,
I can easily get it back once done consistently.
So, I hope you guys find
workout routines that fits your needs
as well.
Since I'm no professional,
I cannot say all my forms were accurate,
I would like to remind you guys once again.
Even though there were shortcomings,
I appreciate you guys watching my stretching/exercise videos,
I wish what I shared here today
turns out to be a little bit helpful for you all.
I really do.
I will also try to do more consistently myself, so I can improve.
Once again, Thanks for watching, guys!
This has been "Sori Not Sorry"
Bye bye~
For more infomation >> Dont't Try This at Home! Idol Fitness Pt.2 - Duration: 34:25. -------------------------------------------
Rússia: caças T-50 em 2019, mísseis S-500 em 2020 e mais bombardeiros Tu-160 em 2021 - Duration: 5:02. 
For more infomation >> Rússia: caças T-50 em 2019, mísseis S-500 em 2020 e mais bombardeiros Tu-160 em 2021 - Duration: 5:02. -------------------------------------------
T-Mobile And Sprint Agree To Merge, Promise 'Highest Capacity Network' - Duration: 0:23. 
For more infomation >> T-Mobile And Sprint Agree To Merge, Promise 'Highest Capacity Network' - Duration: 0:23. -------------------------------------------
Jessica Simpson sparks backlash in TEENY bikini: 'I don't want my children to see this' - Duration: 4:50. 
Jessica Simpson sparks backlash in TEENY bikini: 'I don't want my children to see this'
The US starlet caused an internet meltdown yesterday when she posted a topless sunbathing picture.
And the Jessica Simpson Instagram caused a similar frenzy today, as the mum-of-two rocked a sinfully revealing ensemble.
Marking her return to the spotlight, the 37-year-old updated fans once more from her sun-soaked Bahamas getaway.
Posing in her walk-in wardrobe, the blonde poured her curves into a teeny black string bikini, paired with a high-slit orange floral skirt.
With the flimsy attire proving to be no match for her cleavage, Jessica left little to the imagination as she bared her upper body to the masses.
Throwing a sultry pout as she captured her reflection in the mirror, the bombshell showed off her hourglass figure.
Making sure to display her toned pins, Simpson — who is on holiday with her husband posed with one leg raised.
She completed the scorching hot ensemble with an oversized pair of black shades.
Rivalling Baywatchs Pamela Anderson, 50, the singer wore her golden locks in loose beach waves.
Captioning the moment for her 4.2 million followers, Jessica wrote: Vacation close vibes, take 2, followed by a pineapple emoji.
"I dont want to see this and I dont want my children to either" An Instagram follower However, many fans were disapproving of Simpsons cleavage-baring antics.
One viewer told the starlet: No, Just NO.
Youre a mother now.
Show respect, not just for your family, but most of all yourself. Revealing they would no longer be keeping up to date with Jessicas page, another said: Unfollowing.
I dont want to see this and I dont want my children to either. Expressing a similar view, an Instagram user said: This screams desperate. Put your boobs away, a disgruntled fan pleaded.
Taking a different approach, one supporter remarked: You're SO BEAUTIFUL, but youre trying too hard.
You dont need to do these contrived photos when youre beautiful like you are.
You dont need the boob shots or the crazy unnatural poses.
Youre fabulous, naturally beautiful and you have an amazing body — rock it naturally. Despite the backlash, some fans leapt to Jessicas defence.
Praising the starlets attitude, one wrote: I love your confidence. While another ranted: These comments are embarrassing.
Woman should be uplifting to one another.
You look amazing, Jessica..
For more infomation >> Jessica Simpson sparks backlash in TEENY bikini: 'I don't want my children to see this' - Duration: 4:50. -------------------------------------------
T' amo - Duration: 2:11. 
For more infomation >> T' amo - Duration: 2:11. -------------------------------------------
Sprint/T-Mobile Merger In The Works - Duration: 0:25. 
For more infomation >> Sprint/T-Mobile Merger In The Works - Duration: 0:25. -------------------------------------------
Consumer Group Concerned T-Mobile, Sprint Merger Could Hurt Customers - Duration: 0:25. 
For more infomation >> Consumer Group Concerned T-Mobile, Sprint Merger Could Hurt Customers - Duration: 0:25. -------------------------------------------
Annie Leibovitz's MasterClass: You don't have their soul - Duration: 1:00. 
It's offensive to me when I hear people say, oh, you really
got that person.
That's it.
Or, you have their soul.
I mean, baloney.
We're so complicated as human beings.
There's so many parts to us.
And this portrait is going to be, like,
a small piece of that person.
And I just can't get it in one photograph.
I'm thinking about Alexandra Fuller.
I have a portrait of her. She looks like Dorothea Lange's
migrant worker.
I mean, she looks so ragged.
And then there's another photograph
of her standing next to her yurt. She lives in a yurt
with her horse.
And she looks so beautiful.
And they're both her.
And I just, I ran them both.
I just, I struggled.
Which one did I want to run?
I said, oh, this is ridiculous.
I'm just going to run them both.
And it was just revelatory.
This was the first time it was really quite clear to me
you needed two pictures to tell this story.
For more infomation >> Annie Leibovitz's MasterClass: You don't have their soul - Duration: 1:00. -------------------------------------------
Anasse#08. Cheminots : combien va-t-on perdre si la réforme de la SNCF passe? - Duration: 6:42. 
For more infomation >> Anasse#08. Cheminots : combien va-t-on perdre si la réforme de la SNCF passe? - Duration: 6:42. -------------------------------------------
UNI.T From "The Unit" Announces Official Debut Date And Drops First Teaser - Duration: 2:01. 
UNI.T From "The Unit" Announces Official Debut Date And Drops First Teaser
The female project group from KBSs idol rebooting program is finally making their debut!.
UNI.
T consists of nine members, including Euijin from SONAMOO, Yebin from DIA, NC.
A, Yoonjo, Lee Hyun Joo, Yang Jiwon, Woohee from Dal Shabet, ZN from LABOUM, and Lee Suji.
Soompi. Display. News. English.
300x250. BTF Soompi. Mobile. English.
300x250. ATF.
The first teaser image was revealed on UNI.
Ts official Twitter account, announcing that their debut is coming soon on May 17.
1805.17COMING SOON.
— UNI.T (@official_uni_T).
Stay tuned for more teasers!.
For more infomation >> UNI.T From "The Unit" Announces Official Debut Date And Drops First Teaser - Duration: 2:01. -------------------------------------------
Beat Bugs Why Don't We Do It On The Road Episode 21 - Elliot Jordan - Duration: 18:20. 
♥ Thanks so much for watching!
For more infomation >> Beat Bugs Why Don't We Do It On The Road Episode 21 - Elliot Jordan - Duration: 18:20. -------------------------------------------
Argentina compra aviões Beechcraft T-6C+ Texan II - Duration: 1:28. 
For more infomation >> Argentina compra aviões Beechcraft T-6C+ Texan II - Duration: 1:28. -------------------------------------------
FTM Mexico Dating as pre t transguy / Tener novia siendo chico trans pre t - Duration: 28:16. 
Hello my name is Alex I am 23 years old and this is my channel
I went out as transgender openly to some of my friends and my ex partners. I will talk about the last relationship i had.
it ended a few months ago. I do not know why I laugh I should not laugh but
I prefer to laugh instead of crying because of the sad thing that I am going to tell you
let's tell the story from the beginning, first of all we're going to
put a name on this girl and why not, We are going to put the name she gas (ERICA)
I do not think there's any way to contact her
long story short, she was a new engineer that entered to my job
she used to sit super close to me, 32 years old and I had 22
She was very strict person and very pretty, she and my other friend from work
they started talking about things like "Juanito, I think he's gay" so then
I do not know if they saw it as something bad or wrong so they were talking about that and I was there and
they said "Well, it was as it is, this is a GIRL talk and we're going to talk about men" and
and i was just like "-.-" I want to go, I'm not a girl and I do not want to talk
about men does not interest me, I was not comfortable with that talk, so i said
"Girls"..I raised my hand and said this .. "I have a girlfriend and I think
it does not make sense to me to be in this talk because I do not like men"
so for me it was like this Talk is not going to get anywhere
for me and I'm just going to feel strange and it will be better if I say
that I have a girlfriend.
Her name is Alma, I have two years with her, I love her very much, I like women, I have always like women
so I never said anything about being trans, I just said that I like women and therefore better bye!
goodbye, and l they stayed like "ah that's ok"
and they had no problem with that, they accepted everything,
I was in an intense (bad) relationship and I just did not leave it, until one day...
I broke up with her and that turned out to be quite bad, which I will tell in the next video
between my friends and Erica
We used to go to parks or parties, I started being her first friend
and then my friends were her friends too and all this time
this girl.. Erica
he began to like my friend the "handsome" this guy "the handsome" with my help
he started to flirt with her and she started to liked him
they started to like each other
And...well I'm done with my ex already I was about two months without anyone
but coexisting daily, nine hours a day with this girl
who sat in front of me that It was one meter away, we ate together everyday
we were all day together, then it was like
nine hours a day / five days a week / and sometimes on Saturdays too, because
we used to go out on Saturdays.
the time I spent with her was A LOT! I did not realize it at the time but...
I think I kinda liked her ... little by little but obviously
in my head never will happen in this universe, never never never never never never
never will happen that... that I was going to have something with her because ...you know
she thinks I'm a lesbian, and I'm not!!
I am transgender, a transgender heterosexual boy who likes women!!
but I knew that my friend had some possibility with her because he was a "cisguy"
BUT ... things started to be super weird... and sad.
Depressive ... for me, when I had to be alone with her and with my friend
things tented to go weird and yeah...here comes all the transsexual and transgender issues
and how crazy can your mind become with situations so simple that
that now I saw them and I say "wow they are such simple situations but my anxiety
my head or feelings, and the fact of not being happy with my body at that moment
betrayed me", then there were situations like for example,
here this is going to make you sad and we will stop laughing, well, not sad but more serious
in which
We went to her house, to Erica's house
there were only the three of us, well at first Erica was alone in her house, I arrived and
a half hour later my handsome friend was going to arrive, then she came to present me with his.. MOM
her mom is an important point in this story because .. he hates me!
but at this moment she used to like me a lot, I was like the best thing in the world
"She is the engineer who is with me and I tell you she is very young but she knows
so much " said Erica to her mom... and her mom as well was like " how nice you have friends like that " and I ...
I was like... only if she knew that I do not want to be Erica's friend or anything
her daughter is for me" hahaha, but obviously I did not tell her that
then it was like "yes ma'am great pleasure " then they started to ask
the most UNCOMFORTABLE questions in this world at least for me, do not know for other people
that is transgender, but to me this questions makes me uncomfortable and they upsets me , like
THIS QUESTION!!
"You would look very pretty pregnant" "when do you think you're going to get pregnant?"
like... the word "pregnant" with me at no time did they make any sense
I never felt that word was fir me, never, never in my life, never never never then
when someone ask me those questions that's like ... it's touching a point like I do not like :C
but i just said "never" to her. Then in my head I said "look, you I like her
she has a nice mom ", at that time I thought that haha what an innocent creature I am
but well, in my head I never think about how I am on the outside ( a boy with a girly body )
well, then for me I said "wow I will enter very well here, in this family. "
Half an hour of happiness was what I had, when my handsome friend arrived, and it was obvious that I
I was not going to draw attention to her because my body is obviously not
what she likes is not a "masculine" body that she would like, then
it did not affected me, but I always felt that way like "buuu :( " anyways she was always very
cute with makeup on and smelled very nice, then this guy, that hat got lie
and hour later... he arrived all "handsome" you know... showered, perfumed smelling nice, wearing a shirt, you know that
open shirts...showing his pecs and his muscles
Erica who did not see any man in her last four years (a man that interested her) , it was like "oh nice"
at that point her mom saw an attractive man entering through his door
who is friends with her daughter, well...the lady's eyes sparkled
and went and opened the door to him and was like "oh how are you?, what a handsome guy" Yes and of course my friend is a gentleman
they saw gold at their door, and I was there sitting in an armchair as well
with a thousand layers of clothes (because of my dysphoria)
just there... like "mmm * discomfort *"
and all the happiness of that half hour and my head doing illusions went
like...
I explode, and I know we should not say this but
in my head it was like ...
"That" should be ME, and not because of how handsome or anything
I should ... my body should look like that, my face ...
and that's when I started "Why me? Why me, why is this happening to me?
Why did I have to be born this way? It's all so difficult for me ...
I could just introduce myself here, I would love her mom and her and I could have
the family that I just got excited about half an hour ago, but obviously not,
That is not for you, because... just not.
the whole night was horrible, It was nice but horrible, because
It was super obvious the difference in how they treated me and how they treated him,
and it was super
marked the difference of how they treated me who was just the girlfriend and
him that It was the man, the boy
Then for me it was all night of "Why?
I would like that. I would like all that, but you realize that ...
it's not like that at least for now or I just do not know, and in my head there was a mental mess
that night we stayed there at her home and they started drinking alcohol
I do not drink alcohol so I was like watching them
she was drinking and he usually drinks a lot,
and i was there... just watching them getting drunk
the night went on and the things were turning more sensual, talking about ex couples
and of boyfriends and girlfriends and sex and relationships but obviously
I was over there, the thing was uncomfortable for me, very uncomfortable
because it reminded me that "I am not a man" at that moment I thought that even i know it's not true
what I look physically does not make a match with who I am.
then it was very uncomfortable seeing that and I just thought
"wow my life would have been so simple if I would have been born
a cisgender boy" well... It was getting late and I said you know ...
I do not want to be here this is uncomfortable for me and even more because she started to like me
and this is going to sound super stupid but in that moment it hit me hard,
and I said well I'm leaving and I told my friend let's move on,
let's let her rest it's super late, and they...
they giggled "jiji" and sent a look at each other and then I said "ok I'm going to go I don't care"
bye, and obviously that meant that they were going to stay there
and obviously they were going to have you know
have sex so I was like... "I'm leaving bye bye" I left and obviously my friend
laughing with that face of "another one in the collection of girls"
goodbye
I left but I got into the car advance like two
blocks, and I stopped...In my head I went back to everything
that had happened that night, to see how the kid (Erica's daughter) was shocked with him, like the
Mom was shocked with him, as Erica was shocked with him, that ...
you know... he's not handsome I just called him that but he is a normal guy ... BUT! he's a man
He is not honest or anything but he is a man and that beats all the others
personality cards that you can have, so
I started thinking all that, I started thinking how ...
what it would be like if I had been born that way, as it is an easy life for heterosexual cisgender people
obviously this is NOT TRUE,
It is difficult for ALL, but at that time I was in that sad state of mind where
I just broke up with my ex
because of the issue of being transgender, then it's like there's no place for me in this
in all this... in relationships and love at least not now that I am "Pre everything" (should watch my past video)
And...guess what I did. I started crying
and I don't know if it's sad but I think that I was crying because of the anger
why me? because I did not understand why?
so I started crying, I felt super bad I cried and I got home
and I was still feeling bad I started having very negative very horrible thoughts
about being transgender about the difficult which is, more difficult when you keep
a home, more difficult when the only way to have money in your house is you,
then I can not stop working and start the transition, I can not spend
money in the transition because I have to feed my family, then it was
why why why why why? You put me in this situation of being
transgender, having been born in a family of low resources in this country
where everything is super bad,
Why? I mean many roads would have been more...
simple that this, but life is like that.. and it's fine, but at that time
I did not understood it so I felt terrible. The next day I arrived at work and
my friend told me that he went to his home and that nothing happened with her
that five minutes later he also left and I said to him "mmm but the way you two were seeing at each other... and
the faces that made I thought that you ... and he said "no no no never"
he told me "she is very old for me and yes I like her but I already knew his mom and daughter... and :/
No, that is a lot of responsibility, and I said good ... so you two did not do anything?
and he said "no" so
my attack of anxiety and madness of the night before it was by absolutely nothing for any reason...
Same day I talked to her (Erica) and she was like...
"Yeah I like him, he attracts me a lot physically but I do not like his personality "
because you can tell he's a womanizer because you can tell he's not honest,
that he is just playing around. And although I am very attracted physically to him
I don't like him romantically and well...I don't I can't have you know
sex with someone who I don't feel a sentimental connection with" and
I was like oooh "VERY GOOD, I am glad you did not hat sex with him
I started to liked her even more, we started to got out more, we started as well with the little games
that things you do when you like someone to get closer when we talked
and a part of me told me that "ah you are hallucinating she likes men"
and for her was not a man, here comes the interesting part. One day we had
another party at her house as well as the last time i was telling you about
At that time my friend "handsome" and she, were just friends, no longer trying to flirt with each other so
Now I was the one who was trying to flirt with her and she with me... because it seemed that way
that It was reciprocal, at least that seemed to me and my head
then we had dinner, it was already late and my friend says "it's already late, let's go"
Like me the other day, and I said yes let's go, but Erica said to me ..
Are you going too?
and I said "well, yes, so you can rest" but she asked me to stay
and I said good, so I stay then
My friend told me "ah are you going to stay? and I told him "yeah well...
She says that I can stay and that we are going to talk for a while", I did not know what wasgoing on
at that moment and finally my friend left, and he was looking me and told me
"Maybe she likes you too, cool"
I stay with her on the couch I was on a sofa and she was already in another one
It's already dark and we started talking and she stared to telling me that she has mixed feelings
about many things in her life, that she is old and should not
have them, and I asked her about her sexual orientation, if she had
questions or something, that I could help her and she could talk to me that nothing will happened
and she told me that it was weird for her, and I told her to please talk to me
that it does not matter, if she was starting to question what she like
Women and men,if her feelings have been changed.. but she said "NO, it's NOT that"
"It's not that, I'm not wondering if I like men and women is not that
because I know 100% that I like only men" and then I was like "oh okey"
it's okay,
Well, it's good that you like men, but if she saw me as a woman then
it meant that she did not liked me, this It's very confusing, I hope you understand me lol
but I did not want to say anything, I told her I was fine and he said "you have something to say to me?"
Of course she already knew that I liked her, and I told her you know what ...
YEAH GIRL!! I LIKE YOU!,
but I know that this does not make any sense and I know you don't like me, because
physically I am a woman and you do not like that kind of body, then I understand it
and I do not want you to get confused or weird, because I did not want her to start
to believe that she likes women, because I AM NOT A WOMAN, so it was like
I do not want you to start doing ideas and weird things in your head
I like you but, you know I'm going to stop doing these things
because they are confusing you in some way or at some point they confused you
you are questioning things, I do not want to bother you,
so you know what...
I know you do not like me and it's okay we can still be friends and everything
and everything cool. and she said "ok it's fine" she did not say "no, I do not like you"
or "yes, I like you" or "you are crazy"
and that's how it was. After that happened, everything got really weird
she started asking me "... and since when did you like me?" and "why do you like me?
I smiled and answer her questions and she was super red lol
I told her "hey you know what, I think I better go now, see you on Monday, so I went to my house,
the next day, I think it was a Saturday because that happened on a Friday,
She wrote me an email
saying that she was very sorry
she wrote me an email because it's the way that she has to you know
write a lot and take everything she felt out of her chest, she wrote me an email saying that
she was thinking, why she did not give me any answer yesterday
but that she wanted to tell me that SHE ALSO LIKED ME!!
she like the way I was, she liked my personality, she liked how I treated her, she liked
how I live my life, she liked my thoughts and my values. She never
talked about the physical things, obviously she did not liked it, but my personality liked her
but that It was very complicated for her, and that she does not think she is
starting to like women and that IT WAS something that could never happend
that does not have a future, that she could never come with another woman to her house
because of his daughter and pf course not because of her mom who is super strict with that
super homophobic and that despite of all that, she did not feel that
she was starting to like women, that She liked me because of the way I was
that was something else, but that she is confused by that... then she did not know what was happening,
she was very confused and I was super worried, that he was getting confused and
she was having many things on her head
and until this moment I have only
told my ex-girlfriend that I was transgender and one of my best friends knows so
me being transgender was something that was not well known for other people, but this person
I had known her for a few months, but my ex-girlfriend i have known her for years that's why I told my ex
but knowing Erica...I felt the confidence to tell her, but this girl with a few months
of knowing her I think about four months, but i felt
I could trust her and I I also liked her and I TOLD HER even if it was by message
I think it has been one of the most difficult things that I have done, that day I said
"Hey, I read your email" and he said "ok and what do you think? "and I sent her a message
"I think you should not be confuse, things are more difficult than you think
that she was not starting to like women
and that if she wanted I could explain many things that maybe were going to
make sense in her head but that these things will be far away for
"normal" or they were "tabu" things to say, so I did not want her to
stopped talking to me, I was very afraid coming out and that she will say at work next day
"Hey, she thinks she's a man" , you know the most stupid things and insults from the
prehistory that they have for the people that is transgender
so I was very afraid, I was consumed by fear, but also by the "love" that I had
for her, the love that she had for me and I had fear because I have not told that to
another person besides my ex and best friend, but she who took me so little time to know her but that the last time
I said to someone with whom I had a relationship, that I was trans it had gone quite badly
I armed myself with courage and I sent her a message in fact it was not a message it was a link or
Oh god! I sent a link to Quora,
it's a question and answer internet site
If you want, I'll leave you there down in the description the link to the
answer that I sent to her that was something I wrote, a whole giant letter
about how I knew I was transgender etc.
it was my way of explaining it to her, because I was opposed to writing it again lol
so I just sent her the link and I remember that I sent her the link
and ... I turned off the phone (lol) I hid it
and again I started crying, I do not know why I cry so much but I started crying again
because of the madness that was going on, (drama queen) I did not know what she will say, how would I go at work?
my friends did not know either and I did not know how they would react if it was going to be bad or what
If it was going to be fine, if I was going to have to change jobs
I was very afraid, then those tears were because I was scared and I felt panic
after about 15 minutes I turned on my cell phone
and I saw all her messages, and with all the fear of the universe
I started reading it and said more or less something like this
"Ok, then... you are a transgender person and you are telling me
that you identify yourself as a man.. Although your body is a womans
and that someday with hormones and with surgery you will change it so that your
body and your mind combine and go as the way you feel and as what you are"
and I said "yes that's right that's what I I am but at the moment I can not do it for certain
factors of my life that you already know very well for my family, and because of this
I can not do it and change right know... well that's my story" and she said to me that
"It makes a lot of sense that I like you, because YOU ARE A MAN."
and for me that was the most beautiful message I had read in all my existence
because she did not judged melf, did not say anything bad it just made sense to her in her head
and she said "how great you told me this so I can stop to get confused because
I am not beginning to like women, that she likes men and she will always be attracted to mens
it so just simply that YOU are BOY a transgender boy" and I said "that's the way it is "
and again I started crying but because I was super happy, because she understood, because she hat been the first
time that I came out, that I was a transgender person to another person who
was not my best friend, that I would like sentimentally and the way she support me
and accept it and that it was not strange to her...
She told me that she likes me because I was a MAN and... people
It was It was beautiful and it was the best thing ever
and that day was one of the best and most beautiful days of all my life
wow! there is hope in humanity how nice,
All that was on a Saturday, I saw her all week
obviously already knowing I was trans,
and we get very close and I started to follow the
you know the Flirting game and it was like WOW this is beautiful I CAN
have a healthy and good relationship with a straight girl that never happened before in my life
I had always been with gay girls or with bisexual girls
because they saw me as a woman that's why they liked me
I was in my first flirting think lol with a heterosexual woman who saw me
as a man, for me that week was the dream come true
and I felt better, it was a very good week
and well I think I'll leave this story here for this week
beautiful week lol and in the next video the next week I'll upload it I'll tell you
what happened the next 5 months
thank you very much I leave my social media links
and everything down there
Goodbye People!
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