Youtube daily so Mar 27 2018

Hi I'm Bob Parsons here with Paige Spiranac. Welcome to Episode 3 of the PXG Files

Let's start with the big news after three years of research and development

and I mean blood sweat and tears Paige, PXG 0311 GEN2 irons are

finally here. Hands down they're the best irons we've ever made. And not only are

they better, they're better in every way. Bob, they are so good but what the heck took

so long? What do you mean what took so long? Well we launched our first clubs to Gen 1 irons,

we made a promise to our customers that we would never release a

new club unless it's significantly better than what's on the market and

whatever our current product happens to be. And I mean we took that to heart so

it was a major challenge for the engineering team to make the best irons

even better. We went down a lot of rabbit holes and I mean we almost never came

out of. Our engineers aged like US presidents over the last three years. But

Paige we finally did it and let me tell you the new GEN2 irons, they're the real

deal. Here are a few reasons why. We switched the 8620 soft carbon steel

That's right. Our new forged 8620 material is

approximately twice the strength of the steel we used in our original irons the

higher strength material reduces wear and tear and keeps the clubs looking

sexy. PXGGEN2 irons are a significant investment - you can be sure

that and they are built to last. We developed new COR2 technology.

PXG GEN2 irons injected with our new COR2 technology material. COR2

creates a more efficient energy transfer at contact

it increases ball speed. The COR2 technology dampens vibrations given a

club's an amazing feel through contact. And that's just a part of why GEN2

irons deliver next level of performance. PXG GEN2 irons are more forgiving.

The new COR2 technology combined with the industry's

thinnest face creates a more consistent response and leads to better shot

control and more overall forgiveness. PXG GEN2 irons have higher MOI across all

models. And now we're going to have four models. We have our tour model our players

model and our XF are extreme forgiveness model. But we also have for those golfers

that need a lot of help our super game improvement irons and Paige I'm telling

you these irons are easy to hit. Yeah! PXG GEN2 irons are more accurate by

increasing MOI the head doesn't twist as much one off center hits. Less head

twist ensures that more energy is transferred into the ball making shots

straighter and improving distance control. PXG GEN2 irons have a bigger

sweet spot than Texas. PXG GEN2 irons feature a 360 degree undercut internal

perimeter cavity that expands functional facesize. This larger cavity combined

with our ultra thin face - and it's the thinnest in golf - creates a trampoline

like effect that activates our new COR2 material much more effectively. This

turns your miss hits into money baby. PXG GEN2 irons deliver a better

turf interaction. That's right by increasing the camber from heel to toe

the lead edge at a club is lowered slightly. This allows the ball to make

contact higher on the face which delivers better feel and performance. You

know Paige when our Tour Pros you know like Charles Howell III, Billy Horschel, Ryan

Moore all hit these irons. First of all, most of them put it right in the bag all of

them the first thing they mentioned this man these irons go through the turf so

nice and smooth and easy so that better turf interaction it's

gonna help a lot of players. You can feel it right away I know I did right away.

PXG GEN2 irons deliver higher launch angle. The combination of COR2

technology and a new undercut cavity allows the face to flex more during

impact and to create a higher launch angle. The higher launch angle makes the shots

more accurate because you don't give up any distance and what happens is the

higher launch angle they have a higher peak height and they come down at a

steeper descending rate. Bingo. I experienced all that firsthand in my

fitting. I love my GEN2s. Well Bob we can't end the PXG files about taking on

the internet if I recall it's your turn to answer a tough question.

You ready? Well Paige listen the last time I took the tough question

was all me but I'll do it again for you. But you got it next time okay. From an

internet commenter who shall remain nameless Bob Parsons knows nothing about

golf and only desperate unfulfilled gearheads and rich old hackers buy PXG

clubs. Wow she called me a rich old hacker because I take exception to that

I'm not old Paige. Well I've been talking golf since I was in the womb my dad used

to whisper golf tips to my mother when she was pregnant I mean I come out of

the womb with a grip maybe maybe but it wasn't until I was in my 30s that I

buckled down and got serious about the sport I started reading everything I

could about the science behind golf equipment metallurgy ballistics

aerodynamics quantum physics. But I did become an equipment junkie because I was

looking for any edge to improve my game as for who plays our clubs I think

golfers around the globe who are experiencing the benefits of PXG

technology would beg to differ. I'd venture to guess they're incredibly

satisfied individuals from all aspects of the economy they're gear heads,

professionals, weekend warriors who would be happy to take on this commenter every day.

Tell them Bob. Oh yeah. Well that's a wrap

for this episode of the PXG files with Bob and Paige

thanks for watching and... see ya next time.

For more infomation >> The PXG Files - Episode 3: GEN2 Irons: What the Heck Took So Long? - Duration: 7:13.

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Beat Bugs I'm So Tired Best Cartoon for Kids & Children Channel - Emma Wood - Duration: 18:08.

PLEASE LIKE, SHARE, COMMENT & SUBCRIBE video! Thanks you very much!

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Most Cozy Stunning Z241 One Story House so Cheap to Build from z500 | Great Small House Design - Duration: 2:33.

Most Cozy Stunning Z241 One Story House so Cheap to Build from z500 | Great Small House Design

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Jan Fedder: Von wegen "Großstadtrevier"-Rückkehr! So krank ist er wirklich - Duration: 2:07.

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Meghan McCain Crushes David Hogg On The View So Badly Over March For Our Lives COMMENT(VIDEO)!!! - Duration: 5:06.

Meghan McCain Crushes David Hogg On The View So Badly Over March For Our Lives COMMENT

hundreds of thousands of students and teachers and concerned Americans join

the March for our lives to demand gun control and included a huge drive to

register voters and one wonders politicians listen up right now I think

so yeah no I was just hearing some coverage of the marches and people said

you know this is so far in advance of Elections that this this volume will die

down but the change part here I think is the voter registration if they can turn

all of these voices into votes people will be forced to let politicians will

be morse to listen yeah it's not just that they will vote they also have the

ability to drive people to the to the voting the polls if they have to they

have the ability to get people to get purse picture IDs to go against all of

that they could they're kids they're young people they've got energy they can

help all of those people who having trouble getting to vote to vote even if

they're too young to vote themselves that's true I mean III was very

impressed by not only the number of people but the way that it was organized

including the voter registration I mean let's think about it this is Generation

Z it's not necessarily even Millennials Generation Z and these are the people

that are directly affected by these mass shootings and gun violence I mean

they're the ones that are going through those drills that we never went through

in school they're the ones that are hiding in closets while their kids are

their friends are murdered and I know with my kids they are now asking you

know when can I vote when can I sign up I know I have driver's ed at this time

and I've never seen anything like that my generation was when do I turn 21

because then I can drink yeah I was curious all weekend if anyone who didn't

already support the cause how their minds changed was there any NRA members

pro-gun people who were watching and I watched because I knew he would talk

about it and I actually there were a lot of comments coming out was specifically

from David hog that I just I don't lose him he Kenny he's one of the big kids

yeah but one thing I will say is that you don't move the narrative when you

use language like this and he said it just makes me think what

SiC blenkers out there want to continue to sell more guns murder more children

and honestly just get reelected what type of blanking person does that they

could have blood from children splattered all over their faces and they

don't take action because all they see is dollar signs there's another kid Kyle

cash of I believe his name is who is the Second Amendment Pro supporter that's

also was a parkland student who's been meeting with so many politicians

including vice president press pence twice the president United States and

congressmen and Senators across the country and I just think I wish we could

have it where the rhetoric isn't that any of us could have blood splattered on

our faces and your life perspective wouldn't be changed and I don't think

it's productive I don't think language like that what if

he feels that way I mean I I too was surprised at the language that I heard

from politicians the language that I heard from Rick Santorum who basically

said you know actually the NRA spokeswoman said if you're too immature

to carry a firearm you're too immature to make policy about firearms well

here's I thought she listened here's the thing you know these kids are not going

to take it they're sick of waiting for the adults to do it they're letting you

know when the cussing you out or speaking beautifully doesn't matter

they're not willing to take this anymore and the same way that you want us to

understand you want them to understand why you have the right to have your guns

you want them to understand why you feel the way you feel you can't denigrate the

way they feel because they feel like you've not been responsible out there

for them because they keep getting shot up in school so there's something there

that we all have to sort of take a beat on and hear what they're saying because

they're not kidding this this is not going anywhere I think they realize that

that's civilized

they realized that the civilized language has been honest about that he

was complaining about the First Amendment rights being infringed upon

because there's talk of making kids we're clear backpacks to school and he

said that would be an infringement on privacy he's complaining about First and

Fourth Amendment rights being infringed upon where you where it's unfathomable

for those of us to have a conversation about our Second Amendment rights being

fringed upon so I just think that there's a lot of rhetoric coming out and

for me I didn't see a lot of meeting in the middle that I found both sides of

the ledger in all of them okay well terms we'll talk about yes yes they will

hope they're listening we'll be right back yeah thank you

god bless you and God bless america

For more infomation >> Meghan McCain Crushes David Hogg On The View So Badly Over March For Our Lives COMMENT(VIDEO)!!! - Duration: 5:06.

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WHY DO I GET SO ANGRY OVER LITTLE THINGS? - Duration: 4:07.

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Ana Ivanovic - Kaum zu glauben: SO sieht sie knapp eine Woche nach der Geburt aus - Duration: 1:52.

For more infomation >> Ana Ivanovic - Kaum zu glauben: SO sieht sie knapp eine Woche nach der Geburt aus - Duration: 1:52.

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Im So Sorry Supernatural (Türkçe Altyazı) - Duration: 3:37.

For more infomation >> Im So Sorry Supernatural (Türkçe Altyazı) - Duration: 3:37.

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NOT-SO-VLOG | TRIP TO LANGKAWIII #DAYTWO - Duration: 3:06.

For more infomation >> NOT-SO-VLOG | TRIP TO LANGKAWIII #DAYTWO - Duration: 3:06.

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Putin trifft sich mit Vertretern in Kemerowo: "Wie konnte so etwas passieren?" - Duration: 2:46.

For more infomation >> Putin trifft sich mit Vertretern in Kemerowo: "Wie konnte so etwas passieren?" - Duration: 2:46.

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Inside Broadway's Secret Laboratory: 'Hamilton,' 'Frozen,' and So Much More | NYT - Duration: 6:15.

"Hold the elevator."

"Hello."

"Hi."

"Hello."

"What's going on?"

"Good morning, everyone."

"Tell the guards to open up the gate."

"For the first time in forever —"

"The gate —

If you start it on the gate —"

"O.K., great."

"It feels like your step back

actually makes those gates open."

"Amazing."

"If we wait, somehow they're running —

Then you feel like, it's an adjustment,

as opposed to — yeah yeah."

"— the first time."

"For the first time in forever..."

"Cheeseburger in Paradise."

"Money makes the man."

"Money makes the man."

"You've got a better plan."

"Money makes the man."

"Money makes the man."

"Money makes the man."

"Can he say other than —"

"Going up."

"Uh —"

"And you blow into it here, right?"

"I have —"

"'cause that's supposed to be cut off."

"Oh yeah, that is —"

"Uh —"

"It's a right-handed one."

"It's a right-handed one!"

"That's the problem."

"Some people claim that there's a —

one, two, three, one, two, three

blame, boom, boom, but I know —"

"Some people claim that there's a woman to blame."

"Thank you!"

"Awesome, guys."

"Get that out of here."

"Oh my god."

"There's nothin' like summer in the city

Someone in a rush next to someone lookin' pretty

Excuse me, miss, I know it's not funny

But your perfume smells like your daddy's got money

Why you slummin' in the city in your fancy heels

You searchin' for an urchin who can give you ideals?"

"Burr, you disgust me."

"Ahh, so you've discussed me

I'm a trust fund, baby, you can trust me!"

"Look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now!"

"Look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now!"

"History is happening in Manhattan and we just happen to be —

In the greatest city in the world!"

"In the greatest city in the world!"

"Angelica."

"Eliza."

"And Peggy."

"The Schuyler sisters!"

"Work. Work."

"We're looking for a mind —"

For more infomation >> Inside Broadway's Secret Laboratory: 'Hamilton,' 'Frozen,' and So Much More | NYT - Duration: 6:15.

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So It Begins... - Duration: 15:31.

It begins, the first day of the tour.

[Music]

Travel time!

Luckily, I'm all prepared and ready to go, but I got like three hours of sleep

So I don't know how this is gonna go at all, all day. Excited, excited for the shows! Technically, first show's tomorrow

But, we have a lot to do in the meantime.

because visas are a pain in the ass get and

I've spent the last week in the most stress I've ever had in my entire life. Trying to get it done and

Technically we're heading to the airport in like a half hour and

I don't even have my passport back yet with my visa in it,

so, we've to go collect that on the way

And hope that it's in the place that they said it was going to be in. So, if it's not there

I don't what to do

I've been worrying it all week that we'd have to cancel the first show

Just so I could get my passport back in time and so far that hasn't had to happen

And I really hope it doesn't have to happen and that everything will go to plan so

Fingers crossed I got my passport

I got my Passport [Kisses the Passport] I can actually travel

The whole way here we were just so nervous

Sitting here like oh God what if it's not there, what if my passport hasn't arrived

What if the carrier didn't pick it up on time because they weren't supposed to ship it

I was supposed to go collect it and then another roadblock happened where they were like oh we shipped your passport by the way

With the visa in it. We were like... You weren't supposed to do that

So I had to go collect it on the way to the airport, so I just picked it up now and

America here, we come I can actually travel I can do it. I can actually do the tour. I don't have to tell the people

That shows are canceled and disappoint everybody

Hurray! [Very tired and happy face]

Arrived the airport, we just got sushi, and I'm happy hey, and I've found a can of soda just for you

Love and kisses. Here, we have the great machine. Its gonna tell us our mood for the day. I already know my mood

Super P.M.A [Positive Mental Attitude] happy, well lets see [Machine doesn't work]

Now I know what my mood is

This is who I wish I was, but this is who I really am. Most of the time. I'm this one

Hello from well, I was gonna say sunny Dallas, but it's nighttime

still warm though, and I probably shouldn't be too loud because

Neighbors in hotels we got a noise complaint when I went to Ireland that time and I was vlogging in the hotel room

my bad

2:30 a.m.. Right now in Dallas and

The show is tomorrow night at like

7:00 basically when the VIP start coming in so that'll tell you how close our timing was with the whole visa situation this whole

week of visa stuff

Has been so stressful for everybody that's been involved in it. Just trying to get it done

uum

And what I was supposed to get in

Yesterday and the original plan, then we'd have all of today to do our

Practice, but then the visa situation got all messed up

So we just managed to get a flight in today. We landed like an hour ago. We've done

About 23 hours of traveling to get here because we left at 8 a.m.

our time

from Brighton to

Go to the airport and between

Driving there and flying all the way here and all that kind of stuff and all the way around it's been 23 hours

It's 7 a.m.. Back home right now

I'm buzzin. I'm ready to go everybody else is exhausted, but I'm I'm ready to go I could do the show right now

I'm just so excited to do it. I'm just so happy. I'm here and I'm really glad that we didn't have to

Cancel any of the shows because that would have broken my heart if we had to do that so now

You won't know any of this stuff until this vlog actually comes out

But we I was purposefully not saying much online because I was afraid that I would have to say by the way, sorry

not happening, but no it's gonna be really good. I'm really excited to see everybody

I can't wait for it the the first shows gonna be really good too because it's it's the sold out one although

Some of them a lot of them are sold out now

but this is the one that sold out first and the fastest so I'm really excited for that to be the first show

And my sister just messaged me and said

Hope I have a great tour. What a sweetheart, I will

But yeah, I think right now we're gonna go to bed because it's super late, and I wanna have

Everything in order for tomorrow. I want to have a lot of time tomorrow because me and JP who is our tour director

he's the one that's going to be fixing all the stuff behind the scenes so any of the scene transitions any of the

Stuff that has to be brought up at the projector any of the music cues anything like that

He's got to be in charge of so me and him need to like

Butt heads tomorrow and just get the format down

And I need to sit down now and like go over the material and make sure I remember it all so

Not all the time to prepare for the show

But it's going to be exciting um I'm going to show some stuff from behind the scenes of the actual tours as well

It's not gonna be all traveling today is just the first day, so it's a lot of that so all right good night

I'll see you tomorrow peace

Good morning, it's the day of the first show. I am so excited. We are gonna

Rock, Dallas tonight I am pumped. I am energized. I am ready to go, but first we gotta workout

I just

destroyed a plate of eggs

potatoes turkey sausage

inialating a cup of coffee right now because as you know I am a tremendous admirer of coffee

So good, but funny story, I lost my Nintendo switch. Well, I didn't lose it. I know where I left it

I think I lefted on my flight

Not the one from we went from London to Phoenix and in Phoenix to Dallas

And I think I left it on the one from Phoenix to Dallas

Because I was playing I was playing on the switch there and then, and then getting off the plane

I must have just forgotten to put it back in my bag, and I normally never make that I'm the one who remembers everything

So I forgot that this time. Oh, we're working on it. I'm getting people to call the airline and see if we can

Locate it there's JP

JP is our tour director, and he's the one who's gonna make everything look magical JP:See you in a bit

Yeah, JP was the one I actually

Messaged to see if he could get in contact with the airline to see if they could find the switch

The beautiful sounds of America and then Nicole my manager is actually flying in

From LA right now to come see the show tonight as well

So she's gonna try and pick it up at the airport if they have it so fingers crossed

where is that Irish luck when I need it? Hi my name is Jacksepticeye, and this is the first human flight test in a dxracer chair.

We made it to the venue

Hello Dallas majestic theatre, I've never seen you before but you are beautiful. I think that's like 1,600 seats here

Sir, and this show is like completely sold out

Which is very very exciting look somebody could be sitting here or or or in here say?

It's not it's not focusing right now, but it's all the way up there. I want to be there has a big stage

I'm excited to get up there

I always like walking the theatres whenever I get to these places

Because you kind of get a feel for what it is to be in the audience

And especially like at the back because I think when a lot of performers get up and do stuff you kind of

Forget what it's like to be sitting in the crowd

So when you walk it, and you this is all sounding very very pretentious. Thank you

Like the second time. I've done this and talking like I know what I'm doing. I don't know I feel like

If I was sitting here, then I get a better sense of what it's like to

See somebody on the stage so then when you're on the stage

You kind of get a sense of how much you're supposed to be projecting

and Just to remember the people in the back because sometimes people in the back or up top and everything get forgotten

because the lights don't shine that far

I don't know man. I don't know what I'm talking about

It's fun though. Now. How do we get up top?

I see stairs. I'm going up top :D

spooky

Cool blue lights *°* You could spit on people from up here, but please don't. I'm gonna be all the way down there

Yeah, ooh

Somebody gets the cool seats you think the Queen is gonna be there hmm don't like it here. This is high up

What if I fell

Wow these guys are the real heroes

All the people behind the scenes trying to get stuff done

And trying to get the show to work and making sure that when I say something everything goes well

So I'm very thankful for those people because when I'm like oh

Let's do this section and then stuff just changes in the background. That's because of those guys

wow, look, it's whiish!

Look how pretty this is.

Hi! Now i'm over here

Oh, my god. There's more seats up here. Oh my god

There's way more seats than I thought there was it's gotta be like watching like something on Google Earth this

This is one of the more surreal

types of feelings when you're in a theater like this and you see all the seats that are here

And it's like oh yeah, this show is sold out (what!?) so excited

It's gonna be so much fun. I hope people enjoy the show. It's a show that I don't think people are

Expecting but it's also a show that's incredibly me

So I think everything that happens in the show is stuff that you'd expect me to do anyway

It's fun now we play the waiting game

This is what usually most of touring is for you're just sitting around waiting for stuff to happen

But um it gives me a chance to be able to upload all this footage

Which is great. The internet here is fantastic and I got these really cool

Mirrors with really cool lights (which) makes you feel all professional. Also. We're listening to this

Whoa getting hyped

So I don't really know what to do. I'm getting coffee soon. I think we're gonna start running through the material very shortly

So for now, I'm just gonna read over it and hopefully. I don't forget anything make sure all my jokes are there I mean...

I Know what I wrote daddy's role in here big ideas for small man. That's me

Hey, what's up?

I'm jacksepticeye welcome to my crib come on in won't you?

This is where we're gonna be spending the next two weeks on this lovely tour bus

Everybody seen tour buses before and seen them around, but you have like a little lounge area here where you can sit down

And have a good time, and there's some TVs that you can watch the fun we got coffee makers

You have a refrigerator you have a bathroom

It's basically like a moving house, we have another chill area here

And if you come on down through, you have all the beds

This is where everyone sleeps so then one two three four five six seven eight nine ten.. there is twelve beds in this tiny little space

And everyone's sleeping in coffins..

..basically. Here is my-my-my box down, there

wait

Why is my stuff moved and then back here is another chill area and then you can like section everything off?

I know it needs to be near each other you have like all these like

Audio receivers and blu-ray players and just TVs and everything so it's very very comfortable

And this is usually where if you want some peace and quiet you come, it's kind of an unspoken rule that if you're here

You're not disturbing anyone else so to speak if you need to kind of get away from everybody because it gets very

claustrophobic on a bus

But that's it. Bus tour, done. Next week-

-how to steal

First show first night we have like five minutes before we go out

Kind of nervous because all these times it's like you go over to the stuff on the page, and you're like yeah

I know this I got this and then you actually have to go out and do it when you're out there

You're out there. You can't really come back

You can't look to anyone for help, I kinda just have to do it on my own, but

I wrote the thing I should be able to

I'm exited

Hello all you beautiful people

WOOOOH! Okay well thank you (?)

For more infomation >> So It Begins... - Duration: 15:31.

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Rund 25 Jahre: So wurde Wolfgang Bahro zum GZSZ-Bösewicht! - Duration: 0:59.

For more infomation >> Rund 25 Jahre: So wurde Wolfgang Bahro zum GZSZ-Bösewicht! - Duration: 0:59.

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1. Tanz zu dritt: So sehr freut sich Jorge auf Motsis Baby! - Duration: 1:05.

For more infomation >> 1. Tanz zu dritt: So sehr freut sich Jorge auf Motsis Baby! - Duration: 1:05.

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Fear The Walking Dead Staffel 4: So geht es weiter | Trailer Breakdown - Duration: 3:57.

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So Much News, So Little Time: Trump Edition | The Daily Show - Duration: 5:12.

This weekend's March for Our Lives

may have been the biggest news in terms of quality,

but when it comes to news quantity,

nobody beats President Trump.

And over the span of the weekend,

Trump made so much news happen

that we don't have the time to cover it all.

Luckily, not enough time is the perfect amount of time

for our recurring segment

Ain't Nobody Got Time for That: Trump Edition.

-♪ ♪ -(cheering and applause)

All right, let's start with the big news of the day.

Trump is getting tough on Russia.

President Trump ordering the expulsion

of 60 Russian diplomats

the United States has identified as intelligence officers.

Plus, he's closing

the Russian consulate in Seattle.

The White House says the move comes in response

to the nerve agent attack

on a former Russian spy and his daughter in the U.K.

Dozens of Russian diplomats have been expelled.

They will have, by the way,

about one week to get out of this country.

One week?

That's not a lot of time to cram all your poisonings in.

Yeah, I mean, now with this deadline,

Russians are gonna be running around

like perfume salespeople at Macy's.

Just gonna be like, "You're dead. You're dead.

"You're dead. You're dead. You're dead.

Nerve Gas by Kremlin."

(laughter)

You know why Trump probably did this, though, right?

Someone told him. They're like, "Sir, if you sign this,

everyone working for Russia has to leave the U.S."

And he was like, "Yay, I'm free!

Putin, I'm coming home, baby!"

It's like, "No, not you, sir."

"Oh, damn it. Stuck."

Oh, and before he kicked out the Russians,

Trump also got rid of his national security advisor,

H.R. McMaster, and replaced him

with elderly Lorax John Bolton.

Now, for many people, for many people,

Bolton taking over for McMaster is terrifying,

because unlike McMaster,

Bolton is horny for war with North Korea and Iran,

and he's one of the very few people left

who still thinks the Iraq War was a good idea.

Yeah. So, now, w-we could talk

about how Bolton's policies could throw America

into a never-ending spiral of unwinnable wars,

but we don't really have the time,

because thanks to another Trump decision,

America is actually gonna have fewer troops.

President Trump has issued an order

banning transgender people from serving in the military

except under "limited circumstances."

You know, I'm not gonna lie.

I really don't understand this decision.

I mean, if you're looking for brave people

to join the military,

you don't have to look any further than trans people.

Like, you think it takes guts to fight in Syria?

Try being trans and walking into a restroom in Alabama.

That's bravery, my friends. That's bravery.

(cheering and applause)

So, so, in the span of a weekend,

transgender soldiers and Russians are out,

Colonel Mustache is in.

And if that wasn't enough,

Donald Trump kept the government open,

but he wasn't happy about it.

President Trump signing that $1.3 trillion spending bill

after threatening to veto

because his border wall wasn't fully funded

and there was no fix, he said, for DACA.

The president signing what was a monster piece

of legislation, reluctantly.

There are some things that we should have in the bill.

But I say to Congress,

I will never sign another bill like this again.

I'm not gonna do it again.

Aw. Sucks when people make you do something

you don't want to do, Donald. Aw.

It's funny how Trump sold himself as the best dealmaker

of all time, but he's being forced

to sign a deal that he doesn't like.

Yeah, and his big threat is that he won't do it again.

Yeah. I guess that's the kind of negotiating

that left him stuck with Eric and Don Jr. in the divorce.

Is that what happened?

"All right, fine. I'll take those little weirdos this time,

but, next divorce, I'm standing my ground!"

Now, unfortunately, we don't have the time

to talk about how Trump promised to cut the deficit

but instead has spent money like Lil Wayne

at an out-of-network dentist,

because the Trump news that's been swallowing everything

this weekend happened when the star of your sex dreams

sat down with Stormy Daniels

to discuss her alleged affair with Donald Trump.

And, my friends, it was creepy.

-You had sex with him? -Yes.

It started off, uh, all about him.

Just talking about himself. And he's like, uh,

"Have you seen my new magazine?"

And I was like, "Someone should take that magazine

and spank you with it." And I was like,

"Turn around. Drop 'em."

And I just gave him a couple swats.

This was done in a j-joking manner?

Yes. And, uh, from that moment on,

he was a completely different person.

-How so? -He quit talking about himself

and he asked me things and I asked him things

and it just became, like, you know, more appropriate.

Ew.

Donald Trump likes to be spanked?

I did not need to know that.

And you know what makes it weirder is that,

when he's spanked, he becomes a nice guy and starts opening up.

You know Bob Mueller is watching this interview, right?

You know that. And now he's gonna walk

into the interrogation room with a rolled-up magazine,

like, "Okay, Donald, time to talk about Russia."

(cheering and applause)

Donald's gonna be like, "It started with-- ow--

"a meeting-- ow--

"at Trump Tow-- ow!

I've been a bad boy."