- So for most of my life
being turned on and being in the mood was a huge struggle.
So much so that it felt like I just wasn't a sexual person
or I concluded that sex just wasn't important.
So when I finally started to make the shift
that I really wanted to embody
and dive into this area of my life,
I stumbled across many practices,
and one of them being Orgasmic Meditation.
So when you start diving into the world of sexuality,
especially when you're closed down, which is where I began,
everything seemed weird.
And the practice of Orgasmic Meditation is, in a nutshell,
a woman lays naked from the waist down
with her legs butterflied open,
and a man strokes her clitoris for 15 minutes,
and then they're done.
And so on the surface of this closed down girl that I was,
it seemed so crazy,
but I was committed to starting to overcome
what was holding me back.
So in this video I'm going to share with you
what I learned from this practice
that you might want to explore
or that you can take away into your own journey.
My name is Janelle Fraser
and I seduce women back into their power
by helping them to transform the relationship
that they have with themselves, their vulnerabilities,
and their sexuality,
and of course sometimes I work with men and the couples.
If you want more videos like this, in this realm, sexuality,
me sharing my experience,
please give this video a thumbs up and be sure to subscribe.
I post new videos every week.
Let's get to it.
In this video I'm not gonna share with you
the process or philosophies of Orgasmic Meditation.
I am simply gonna share with you my experience
and what I've learned.
Many different companies out there
teach various variations of this,
but specifically I worked with and read
and learned through the company OneTaste.
The first thing that this practice taught me
was about opening and surrendering.
So for someone who struggled to get turned on,
in my body I was closed down, as well as to my partner.
So this whole process and journey
of learning about Orgasmic Meditation,
physically allowing my legs to spread open and lay there
in a relaxed position for 15 minutes,
allowed my body to open and surrender.
Not just my physical body, but also to my partner.
It is a practice where the receiver,
so often times the female,
isn't actively engaged in the process
in terms of doing anything,
so it was really just about receiving
and allowing pleasure to come into your body.
That was huge for me, to just start to unthaw.
The very first demonstration that I saw, Eli,
who I believe is the co-founder or part owner of OneTaste,
to demonstrate, I actually observed ...
As I was observing I felt that unthawing
beginning to happen in my body.
It was a beautiful experience of openness of sexuality,
of safety and of expression that I had never seen before,
and it was totally transformative.
One of the things that Eli said
in the very beginning of the presentation was,
"You put your pleasure before your preferences."
And he congratulated us on that.
So we showed up to this room in LA,
that we didn't know what we were getting in for.
We were planning on actually doing it on that night.
We didn't actually get to experience it,
just with the numbers of people that were there.
He said, "You put your pleasure before your preferences."
We didn't know how the whole night was gonna go down,
but we were going there because we were committed
to a next level of pleasure for ourselves.
That was the very first time in my life
that I had ever put my pleasure as a priority.
And normally in sexual situations it's like,
I'm not turned on, I'm not in the mood,
and I have all these preferences and reasons why I'm not
and all these things that need to happen,
that were just all self-sabotaging and blocks
from me getting into my body.
That night I felt really proud.
When he acknowledged us that we put our pleasure
before our all of our preferences,
I was like, hell yeah I did!
And that was a line that has stuck with me
and the opening and thawing that happened that day
just created a ripple effect and is continuing today.
The second thing that this practice taught me about
was creating a container.
What I mean by a container is guidelines, perimeters,
boundaries if you will,
around sexuality and sensual experiences.
One thing that I felt like,
especially going through past trauma,
I felt like my body couldn't open up in sexual experiences,
because I never knew how long it was gonna be
or what the other person was gonna be doing.
I had a really hard time
speaking up for myself and saying yes or no.
So what this practice really helped me to do,
because it's a timed practice,
it's a specific set of steps that are happening,
I knew what was gonna be happening, for how long,
when it was gonna be over,
and it just gave this whole safety container for me to,
it was predictable.
It allowed me to start to get my voice back
to say faster, slower, harder, softer,
and to not have to continue if I didn't want to
because I knew the timeframe that I was committing to
and I could get clear in my mind,
and it really helped to create safety
around sexuality for me, which created further opening.
The third thing that this practice did for me
was really help to illuminate
how I wasn't trusting of my partner,
as well as to build that trust,
because not only are you physically opening
to whoever is doing this practice with you,
in this case for me it was my partner,
he was in and around my vagina and I was laying there,
surrendering, opening, and allowing this process to happen,
and I was able to trust him.
One of the things that helped to build the trust
was having that solid container
of knowing what was gonna happen, when it was gonna happen,
for how long, what wasn't gonna happen.
That container really helped me to feel safe,
to remain open, and then that trust got to form.
Because we had so many years of really bad patterns
that created a lack of trust,
and of course from abuse in those situations,
I really found that I just didn't have much trust,
and I didn't realize.
I would have never said that before I started the practice.
But it really taught me how lack of trusting I was
with my body and my partner,
and it helped to facilitate that healing.
One thing that I discovered so far in this journey
is that the less that you have sex,
the less that you are intimate,
the less that you are intimate and have sex and want that.
The less you're turned on,
the less you're going to be turned on.
This really helped me to have an option in my toolbox,
so to speak, that could be a practice
that we could implement into our life.
I admit that we could do it way more often.
We haven't done it for a while.
But we did have some consistent time when we did do it,
and it was a consistent practice that was,
that we could create consistency.
Otherwise, I never wanted to do, let's do consistent sex,
because it was so unpredictable
and all of the other reasons I mentioned above,
but this practice helped me to do something sexual, sensual,
consistently, which helped me to feel
and start to get into my body on a consistent basis,
which helped for turn on and being in the mood
on more of a consistent basis.
The time that we did this the most
was two years ago on our Costa Rica trip.
We actually committed to this for a couple week period.
Every single day we did it while we were on our trip.
We had more connection, more fun,
better sex than we had ever had,
from doing this practice on a consistent basis,
and it was actually on that trip
where I started to notice the biggest differences
because we were so consistent
with the practice for those few weeks.
It ripple effected into our relationship,
and now as I'm even shooting this video,
it's such a reminder as to why I wanna do more of it.
The fifth thing that this practice did
was increase sensitivity.
I felt like not only was I not turned on
and not in the mood, but when I did have sexual experience,
I was like numb down there.
It took so much to feel anything.
But this practice,
because it's a concentrated practice, again,
it creates open, safety, trust,
all of these amazing qualities
with your partner and yourself,
that it really helped to build sensitivity.
I noticed as I would walk around
for the day after or two days after,
I'd feel little tingles down there, just little sensations.
It was like, whoa, something's coming alive down there
and through my whole body, through my whole soul,
through my whole life, and that was a really good feeling.
So this is a bonus benefit that I observed from my partner.
Most of us never get an opportunity
to be present and in daylight without pressure to perform
or get to an outcome with our partners' genitalia.
So in this practice, one of the things that is so profound
is that it is a practice of meditation.
It is a practice of presence, in daylight,
getting to actually see and observe without an end goal,
without an objective, without him feeling like
he needed to make me orgasm,
or without me feeling like I needed to do something.
We just got to be present
and really learn and explore and connect together.
And so one of the cool things that I noticed
was his confidence level with my pussy,
with other sexual experiences that we have, even now,
just his level of confidence and knowledge,
and my level of knowledge
about where actually feels good there,
or whether you like the hot spot, so to speak.
The internal work that I had to do was so profound
and important for me to even be able to get to the point
of going to that class that day,
or bringing this into my relationship.
So if you're at this stage of curiosity
and if you'd like any more support around
how does your mind work,
and why do you think the things you do,
and how can you start to shift what's going on in your mind
in the way that you interact with other people,
go and download my Self Understanding Starter Kit.
So I'll put the link in the comments below.
It's gonna give you a guide as well as a free mind training
for you to begin to build this relationship with yourself,
so that you are more comfortable, more confident
to be able to take bigger leaps like this in your own life
and try out some crazy things.
If you like this video, please give it a thumbs up.
I would love to know in the comments below,
what was the top thing that I learned
that you feel like you,
oh, I'd really like more of that number one,
or I really feel like number two is what I needed,
put the number in the comments below.
Which one was it for you that stood out the most
and that you feel like you could benefit
and bring into your own life.
I'd love to hear, and of course, subscribe.
I post new videos every week and I want you here.
So make it a great day.
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