ever looked at another family and wondered how do they do it everyone
seems so put together they're so organized
and their kids are like nice they must have a deal with the devil let's talk
about it very Smith here with you to stock community pastor author husband
father and a guy who's dealt with my share of family dysfunction not just my
own which I talk about a lot but after 25 years of pastoral care ministry
coaching and counseling I can assure you that we're all jacked up now be sure to
watch this video till the end as I've got a free powerful and super helpful
PDF with numerous resources to help you be a family success which is the point
of this video series family success what do we have to lose what do we have to
invest and what do we have to focus on the reason that I've done this series is
because there's just too many jacked up families out there and it doesn't have
to be this way divorce is about as common as getting a
filling at the dentist whether it's someone cheating or an addiction
financial pressures or the elusive irreconcilable differences broken
marriages and broken homes are way too common and broken homes are turning out
broken kids more than three and 10 kids grow up in broken homes and it's these
kids who account for 70% of those in juvenile detention 63% of teen suicides
71% of teen pregnancies ninety percent of homeless juveniles and runaways 71
percent of high school dropout seventy-five percent of all drug users
and 85 percent of behavioral disorders according to the Richmond Times
newspaper a few years ago and 70% of all long-term prison inmates grow up in
broken homes if Americans don't put some intentionality into our marriages and
into our kids and into our families in general we're going to keep producing
what we have been producing which is quite frankly a mess
according to Esther Perel psychotherapist and best-selling author
of the state of affairs both happy and miserable couples
experienced the same problems it is how each couple comes together and relates
to each other that defines whether the relationship will thrive or end I agree
with Esther I didn't anticipate saying something like that on a video but
everyone has problems every marriage and every family has their share of issues
the difference between flourishing and failing families is investment so if
you're ready to have family success and keep families together we have to invest
in three distinct areas number one invest in effort now that may sound a
little weird but it's so true we must make an effort sometimes it's an effort
of time time is your number one commodity where do you spend it you may
be surprised that families fail because of a lack of time spent in the
relationships there's also the effort of attention it's not just enough to put in
the time we have to give our attention to there are thousands of distractions
even when we give our family our time especially our cell phones put them down
finally there's the effort of intentionality time and attention are
great but without adding specific intentionality they fall short for sure
we have to be more intentional with our time and our attention putting in these
three efforts takes sacrifice and that my friends is why so many families are
failing it's the sacrifice and that's tough it's serious work if it was easy
there wouldn't be so many divorces and broken homes nor would there be all the
crimes and suicides and drug abuse that's out there to be a family success
you not only invest in effort you invest number two in priorities just putting in
the effort is not enough you've got to make your family a priority where do
they fall in the grand scheme of things of your life only you can decide that
but decide you must and that brings us to your message in a tweet if you don't
get anything else get this you can post this on Facebook Instagram or Twitter to
not make your family a priority is to state that they are not your priority to
not make your family a priority is too actually say and make public they are
not your priority and that's kind of brutal I know for me this is my priority
scale number one God number two spouse number three kids and
number four everything else notice that my job and career aren't
mentioned of course my career in my church and my friends are all important
but they fall into the everything else category I'm at liberty to rearrange
those things in almost any order I want once I have the first three in place
because listen if God is number one he'll guide me in number for everything
else and if I Jack that up God will reveal that to me through the power of
the Holy Spirit also notice that my wife is a priority over my kids you may not
agree but it's biblical and if I want to have success and raising my family I
will show my kids that my wife is a priority over them because let's face it
it's not only biblical but one day those kids are going to move out hopefully and
it'll just be me and my wife I've got eighteen to twenty years or so
with my kids and a lifetime with my wife successful families know how to
prioritize and to not make your family a priority is to state that they are not
your priority invest in effort invest in priorities and number three invest in
help in the first video of this series we lost three roadblocks ego comparisons
and the perfectionist mentality once the ego is gone and you realize that you're
not going to be perfect you absolutely must get help from time to time these
helps could come in the form of books courses podcasts blogs and youtubers a
couple of muster ebooks for spouses are his needs her needs by Willard F Harley
jr. and the five love languages by Gary Chapman both are foundational to a
successful marriage and their ultra practical I've also posted the links to
raising girls by Melissa Trevathan and Cissy golf as well as wild things the
art of nurturing boys by Steven James and David Thomas two incredible and
insightful books on raising your kids online courses are also a great help to
my wife and I just launched some courses online and one happens to be on
sale right now it's called the marriage transformation blueprint' and the other
courses on parenting are going to be available soon
they are super practical and so valuable for you in being a family success and
they have a money-back guarantee to boot those links are all listed below if you
would like to purchase that there are numerous podcasts blogs and youtubers
out there from the behemoth focus on the family to thousands of youtubers who
focus on parenting or marriage or moms or single parenting and that just about
anything you could imagine my wife and I have a YouTube channel called family
with purpose where you can see dozens of free videos that we post weekly with
insight on all things family from marriage and parenting to decluttering
and decorating we even have a series on preparing to send your first kid to
college the point is everyone needs help from time to time if you want to have
family success getting help is a no brainer trying to do it on your own is a
waste of time and energy get some help to have family success you got to invest
in number one effort time attention and intentionality which takes sacrifice
number two priorities for me it's God spouse kids and everything else but your
family has to be a priority somewhere or you're stating that they're not your
priority and the final area is help books courses podcasts blogs and
youtubers some are free and some cost a few bucks but the dividends are
invaluable when we invest in these three areas we will be better our spouses will
be better our kids will be better and our society will be better and that's an
awesome place to be and to help you out I have a very special free PDF to give
you just click the link below and let me know where to send it I summarized this
message and lists all of the books and courses and the links that I mentioned
on marriage and parenting plus some more valuable links this will help you be the
successful family that God has called you to be just click that link and let
me know where to send it and take a minute and post which of the areas of
these three areas do you plan to invest in this week effort priorities or help
you go ahead and post that right now what area can you work on this week you
do that right now and as always like share comment subscribe to this channel
it helps us get the message out there and if you like our stuff consider
supporting us with a tip on PayPal or a tax-deductible donation at you choose
community the links are all below a lot of links this week we'd certainly
appreciate it so right now go ahead hit that thumbs up and share this thing
because no doubt somebody you know probably needs to hear this
until next time you click that link to get that free pdf and a recap of this
message with some valuable links on marriage and parenting
you
you
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