The very first place that we had an issue with was our pres-school, because that's
where our kids are going every single day. And people had known them.
They've been going since six weeks old. And they were seeing all of the changes.
And for the longest time, we're the conservative family and so many of the
other ones, they were a little more, you know, liberal and progressive.
And they thought, "Wow, you're really awesome. You've got this boy wearing pink,
sparkly shoes. And yay for you for bucking those gender norms.
And you're really pretty cool to go along with all that and not let it freak you
out." And then, when we worked with our doctors and therapists, and they said we
really probably should just let her socially transition. We knew that was
going to be a big thing.
And we put it off a little bit. But Avery had a birthday party to go to
on a Sunday afternoon. And it was from one of her pre-school friends.
And she was throwing a fit. She did not want to leave the house.
She wasn't going to go. And it was because we had told her, you know,
"Go ahead and change clothes. Put on your boy clothes and we'll go to the party."
And she's like, "No. It's my day. I'm not going to put on boy clothes and do that."
So she went to the birthday party, dressed in a pink, rhinestone sparkly top and
leggings, and had the biggest grin on her face. And when she got there,
all the parents were like, "Hey, cool. Avery, go out and roller skate and have
fun with your friends." And no one made a big deal out of it. So she decided
no one's going to care. They're totally good with me. So the next morning she woke
up, she threw on girl clothes. She was like, "Okay, let me go. I'm ready to go."
So, instead of fighting to get her to pre-school, she was up before daylight,
ready to go, didn't want to be late. And, you know, rather than fight, and I had to
get to work, I was like, "Okay, I'll take you." And walked her into class and said,
"Here you go. Lucky you, teachers. You get to have this today." And it was
actually Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday. So it was the perfect day
for it, they're like, "Hey, we're talking diversity. We will work this
into the lesson."
And it was no big deal. And for that week, everything seemed to go really well.
She wore girl clothes everyday and she was happy and excited. And then we had a
weekend, and she went back the next Monday. And all of her friends were
saying, "Why are you still doing this? My mom said this is kind of weird.
Why aren't you putting on boy clothes now? I don't get it." And we realized the
parents were not as cool with head-to-toe girl clothes as with one item or whatever.
So I wrote a letter and Avery had decided that, because they were starting
to tease her, she didn't want to go back to daycare. And we didn't want her to be
more stressed and be suicidal and all of that, so we decided we were pulling her
out of the pre-school at the end of the week. So I wrote them a letter and I said,
"You've probably noticed some changes and I'm sure that you're a little bit
confused and you have questions. You should be in our shoes. We're much more
confused and we have a lot more questions than you do. But we've been working with
doctors and experts and they have recommended a social transition.
So, we're going to move forward, calling her a girl. She's going to start living as
a girl. We're going to be leaving pre-school at the end of the week.
Here's all of our contact information. We would love to keep in touch and have
playdates in gender-neutral places and all of that. And here are some websites where
you can get information about how to talk to your kids. I'd love to hear from you."
Put that in their mailboxes Monday night. Nothing on Tuesday. Nothing on Wednesday.
Nothing on Thursday. By Friday, I realized, "Wow, no one has even said
hello to me in the halls this week. I'm not even getting eye contact.
And on Friday, we packed up all of her items, got her, you know,
naptime blanket, got her toys and her extra changes of clothes,
and all those things to pack up to go. And a couple of the teachers who were still
there said, "Goodbye." And all of the other parents, picking up their kids,
just kept their eyes down and didn't look at us. And we walked out.
Not a word from anyone. No one gave us a note. No one said, "Wow,
that must be really hard. Sorry you're going through this. Good luck."
I mean, nothing. It was total silence. So...
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