- All right, welcome to #Ask Johnny Swirl.
Today is part two to another question I answered,
so, got Ivy again, we're in the same clothes
as our other video 'cause we're shooting this
on the same day, so don't think we're dirty,
I don't want anybody thinking that.
So all right, let's get into the show.
(both laugh)
(energetic instrumental music)
- All right, welcome back to the show here with Ivy.
And we're gonna do part two here
to the question about,
do I prefer dark skin, brown skin or light skin women?
Wanted Ivy here for this one too, being,
you know I don't see color,
are you light skin, dark skin, I don't know?
(laughs)
- Well my daycare kids today told me I was white.
- Oh did they really?
- We had a conversation about that.
Okay, so I brought my favorite white girl here.
But what I wanna talk about in part two here,
'cause I went over what I like and all that stuff,
but what challenges have you faced, you know,
cause you're a very social person, correct?
You're very, you know, a social butterfly.
Always been that way right?
From school and everything? - Yeah, since I was little.
- Do you, what have you dealt with
as a light skinned woman within black communities,
you know with dark skin versus light skin?
- It's funny because I have zero light skinned friends.
I probably have like one or two, but we don't hang out.
But all my friends are dark skinned,
and they always tell me, "You act like a dark skin girl."
Or, "You dark skinned at heart,"
"you don't act like light skin girls."
So I'm like, "What do light skin girls act like?"
And a lot of people portray us
as being stuck-up or sadity.
And if I'm not smilin' people will think that I'm like that,
and it's really 'cause of my eyebrows, see look.
(chuckles)
- Not smiling and I look mean.
- Uh huh.
- But I totally don't have attitude,
but if I'm smiling everybody's like,
"Oh, she's so friendly,"
or, "She's so sweet."
So it's like I deal with that kinda stuff,
I deal with, I have to constantly smile in order
to be accepted, even if I don't feel a smile
I have to smile because they'll assume
that I'm the typical, quote-unquote,
"Light skin girl with a stuck-up attitude."
And guys'll tell me like,
every guy I've ever dated will say to me,
"You're nothing like I thought,"
"I thought you was gonna be like"
"a sadity light skin girl."
I'm like, where are you gettin' this from?
What light skin girls are you dating?
So it's like they already have in their head
that this is how light skin girls are,
and they assume that's how I am when they meet me.
- You know what's interesting about that is like,
you know our Swirl Network's
about interracial relationships mainly,
but isn't it funny that this kind of relates
because it's all about somebody sees somebody
and they automatically think they're this way, right?
You know so, you're a black woman
who sees a white guy, "He's gonna be this way."
It's the same thing as light skin versus dark skin
where people are gonna think you're this way,
or you know what I mean,
and so it really relates at the end of the day.
How is as far as dating goes, you know?
With black men.
- As far as dating, I've had guys tell me
that they weren't like, it was so funny 'cause
it'd be guys I'd be attracted to they like,
"I don't like light skin girls."
I'm like, what, what do you mean?
"I don't how y'all got attitudes."
But then they'll get to, they'll put me
in the friend zone and then wanna pull me out
once they've got to know me and I'm like,
No homeboy, You put me in the friend zone,
this is where I'm gonna stay at.
I think I've only dated probably
a couple light skin guys, I've always dated darker guys.
Like all the guys I've ever dated are darker,
like probably maybe Shawn's complexion or darker.
- Oh wow, okay, okay, yeah. - Yeah, I've never, yeah.
- Right, right, even though Shawn's behind the camera
but we get the point yeah I see what you're saying.
- I means it's been times that I can walk
in a room full of dark skinned women
and they will automatically have,
like this look where they will look me up and down,
and they wouldn't wanna talk to me,
they wouldn't wanna come around me.
And then the men would kinda like draw to me,
and I honestly don't believe they draw
to me 'cause I'm light skin, I believe they draw to me
because I seem approachable, I'm smiling.
It's not like, "Oh she's light skin so she's better."
Like I was telling you earlier it goes back to kinda
like that slave mentality where I'm considered
the in-house slave, I was the massa's, you know.
That was that one.
And the other ones was the field ones.
So I feel like it's a slave mentality to be divided,
So instead of us realizing that black comes
in all different shades and it's beautiful no matter what,
they still have that slave mentality,
and they're taking on and we're just dealing with it.
And I think that's what I deal with,
I don't feel like these women actually hate me.
I feel like it's just a slave mentality.
I don't feel like, oh they look at me
and they're jealous of me.
I feel like it's just a slave mentality.
And sometimes I have the energy
to go ahead and break that barrier
and I'll come over and I'll make sure they understand
that I'm not like you think
or whatever's in your head for you to look
at me the way you're lookin' at me
'cause I'm reading body language.
I'm not like that, so I'll kind of like
be friendly and I'll pull them outta that zone.
And then later they're, "Oh I love Ivy, she's so cool."
- So they're receptive to it then, okay.
- Yeah, some of them, not all of them.
Some of them still kinda look at me like,
"You in my space, back up."
You know, or they have some type
of feeling against me like my best friend,
she is dark skin and we met in high school,
and she had an attitude lookin' at me,
I'm not gonna say it was 'cause I was light skin,
it could have been, I don't know.
But I spoke to her, she was like,
and I spoke to this girl every single day until
now we're so close we have matching best friend tattoos.
I made this girl,
"No you're gonna talk to me 'cause I'm not what you assume,"
"or whatever you're looking at me is I'm not that person."
So it's like, that when I have the energy for it.
Sometimes I'm outta energy,
"Ah, think what you wanna think."
I don't have time for it, I don't care.
- Right, right. - But 95% of the time I care,
so I kind of want to, you know be that person
'cause you know the saying is
"Be the change you want to see in the world."
So I try to be that person. - The old Buddha, yeah.
- Like I try to be that person.
- Or Gandhi, that's it.
- Gandhi.
- Let me, quick question, this is Swirl Network.
Do you, have you noticed by any chance,
do you think the majority of white guys
when they're attracted to black women
tend to be light skin or dark skin women?
'Cause it's kind of a debate, you know,
in the Swirl community. - I see the white guys when
they attracted to a black woman she is Mother African.
She not me. - I mean it's true.
- They not looking my way,
they not thinking about me, I become they homegirl,
they don't even ask to date me or none of that.
Like it'll be like, "Oh that's my homegirl."
But they looking at Mother Africa,
they want the one up off the elephant,
"Let me get her," like that's the one they want,
they want the dark skin woman, so.
- So you've noticed that?
- Yeah, and I see them together and they like,
my sister she just started dating a white guy
now I have biracial nephew,
so he was just born May third.
- Okay, okay, okay, and she's dark skin?
- I'm sorry, May second, no, she's light skin.
- Oh okay, okay. - They was like a, yeah.
- Right, but I was just curious
what you saw in your lifetime.
- Yeah I always see the dark skin,
it'd be the darkest of the dark,
like it's night and day together.
- Yeah, yeah, that's interesting.
- So that's what I see,
I never see too many light skin women.
And then I'll always see a black,
dark skin woman with a white guy.
So it's always been like that it's never been,
I never see the light skin.
- Especially in Cleveland here, here in Cleveland.
- Now I don't know how it is elsewhere.
Here in Cleveland either she's dark as night
and he's white as day or he's white as day
and she's, you know?
- You know what's interesting,
in my years of dating, you know,
black women and stuff like that,
and I've been out with all shades,
I noticed that when I'm with black,
dark skinned women I'll get more looks
from the public than when I'm with a light,
like when I'm with a light skin people don't
even pay attention. - They do not pay attention.
You're out with me when
we have breakfast they don't pay us no attention.
- Right 'cause me and her we'll go out
when we're writing and stuff we'll go
to like Applebee's or certain places
and people don't even pay, no.
- They don't even look our way.
- No, they don't even look our way,
so that is an interesting,
I mean Cleveland's already not that racist,
you know we don't have to deal with down-south types.
But people don't pay attention, I don't know, it's weird.
But you know, it's one of those things
and I've noticed that through the years.
So it's interesting.
Alright well, that was a good episode
and make sure you like,
or dislike, comment, share, subscribe.
Anything else Shawn I can't think of, is that all the stuff?
And I'll see you next #Ask Johnny Swirl, thanks.
(funky music)
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