(funky music)
- So, claiming power, what is power?
That word can have a positive or a negative
connotation to it.
What do you think it is?
How would you define power?
First thing that comes to mind.
- [Audience Member] Strength.
- Strength, what else?
- [Audience Member] Energy.
- Energy, what else?
- [Audience Member] Influence.
- Ignorance?
Oh, influence, yes.
Ignorance. (laughs)
- [Audience Member] Love.
- Confidence, love.
Are there any negative connotations to power?
What could those be?
Manipulation, control, what else?
- [Audience Member] Abuse.
- Abuse, what else?
- [Audience Member] Arrogance.
- Arrogance, this is a great opportunity
to define terms, right?
'Cause if I'm sittin' here, claim your power,
and you're like, yeah, I'm gonna be more arrogant.
It's like no, no, no, no, no.
(laughs) No, no, no.
Okay, very simply put, power is your ability
to make your purpose real.
Thought, action, reaction, reality.
Can I take an idea, an inspiration, a calling,
a nudging, something that I wanna create,
and can I make it real?
And not just for five seconds, can I sustain it, right?
That's the name of the game.
So then the question becomes what determines
how much power you have?
What determines it?
What gives you power?
What do you guys think?
- [Audience Member] Money.
- Money, hmm, interesting, what else?
- [Audience Member] Mindset.
- Mindset, interesting, what else?
Money and mindset, interesting, okay.
Sounds like a webinar, Money Mindset Webinar.
(laughs)
Me and you?
Being you gives you power, yeah.
Yes?
Yeah what?
Believing in yourself, okay, great, awesome.
You ever feel like the genie from Aladdin?
Infinite cosmic power!
Itty bitty living space.
You ever feel that way?
- [Audience Member] Yeah.
- You know what I'm talkin' about?
Right?
You're just like, you have this big thing in you
that how do I get it out of there?
How do I make it free?
Right?
Takes three things, only three.
Okay, first one is emotional awareness.
Now what does awareness mean?
What's awareness?
That's a word that spiritual folk throw around.
Awareness.
What is awareness?
Paying attention?
Here's what awareness means, you notice it.
It's noticed, 'cause guess what most of us do?
When we have something uncomfortable in our body,
could be like little tweak physically,
or an emotion that's not comfortable,
what do we do?
Tend to.
We tend to push it down, we tend to ignore it,
we go for the sugar, we go for all
that type of stuff, right?
Like yesterday, the TV was on for one second
during something and this show opens
and this woman is literally squirting whipped cream
into her mouth, eating a donut and ice cream,
and I was so jealous.
I was like, oh my god, this is amazing, right?
(laughs)
So good, right?
But we tend to do stuff like that, right?
We numb, we fight, we argue, we run, we eat,
we go and overwork, we do all these types of things.
But emotional awareness just says,
what am I noticing, or what am I paying attention to
in the sensations in my body?
It does not mean that you overanalyze or spiritualize them.
One of the things we do as human beings
is we over, how should I put this?
We are superstitious about our emotional states.
I'm feeling very anxious, Mercury must be in Retrograde.
(audience laughs)
I'm feeling upset, that's a very Taurus thing to do.
It means that this is not meant to be.
And we start to go to all these places.
Who here's ever done this by the way before, right?
What we tend to do is we tend to have sensations
in the body, and then our brain makes up stories
about what they mean, and then we go, yeah,
and then other people are doin' that shit,
and we co-agree.
Yeah, Mercury's in fuckin' retrograde,
do not sign a contract.
(audience laughs)
I'm serious Mastin, do not sign contracts
when Mercury's in retrograde, that's serious business!
Maybe, right?
Trust me, technology breaks whether Mercury is in,
or out of retrograde.
Okay, it breaks, all the time.
I've signed contracts when Mercury's not in retrograde
and they still didn't go well.
I've signed contracts when Mercury is in retrograde,
it was fine, right?
That might be a belief system, and if that's what your
belief system is, I honor that,
but what we have to look at guys is am I
overanalyzing emotional states?
What if it was just a sensation?
What if it was just information?
What would that mean?
If it's just info, what do you do with information?
You're like, what is, I mean look at it,
but we're not trained to do that,
we're trained to disassociate,
we'll get more into that in a second, okay?
After you have emotional awareness,
you have to have intelligence.
So awareness is, this is how I'm feeling right now,
intelligence is, this is how I design
the emotions I wanna feel.
Intelligence, there's a whole thing on
emotional intelligence, it's important stuff,
but it's not enough, but it's definitely important,
because can you architect feeling good?
Can you design it?
How do you do it?
Simple, open a bottle of wine, pour it in a glass,
drink that shit, you feel great!
(laughs)
Of course you can design emotional states, right?
But can you design it without substances?
Of course, it's just harder, and also better, right?
All day long.
So the real name of the game is emotional fitness,
and that's the part that most people don't wanna hear.
They want the magic bullet, six steps to perfectional
thingamajiggers success, where it just stays and lasts.
I don't have to touch it, set it and forget it,
and everything's fine, right?
But emotional fitness is the name of the game.
What does fitness imply guys?
It's something that you have to consistently rehearse.
What happens if you don't rehearse it consistently?
All day long, because here's the thing,
and here's what's true, our human bodies
are designed to be on automatic and manual.
Automatic and manual.
Do we have automatic responses?
What do you think, yes or no?
You know you do!
Here's how you know, that one person gives you
that specific look, you know what I'm
talkin' about, the look?
Who here as someone in their life
that if they give you a certain look,
you have an automatic response to that look?
Let me see by a show of hands.
Right?
Or a tone.
You know the tone, how you doin'?
Fine.
(audience laughs)
Does your body have an automatic response
to shit like that, yes or no?
- [Audience Member] Yes.
- It does, and so, is there a purpose
to have automatic responses?
Is there a purpose for that, what do you think?
Like why would we have automatic responses in our body?
Like why would the process of evolution get us there?
- [Audience Member] Survival.
- That's right, because there's that's happening
around us that you don't have time to think
about responding to, and things are happening
so fast, and guess what?
The majority of the threat assessment
that your body is making is from the neck down.
And here's what's happening, I'll get into this later,
we're gonna start getting into it right now,
the organs of your body are literally sending you
information through your vagus nerve,
up into your brain, and you call it anxiety.
Maybe, or maybe it's good info.
That's what intuition is, you feel something,
and then you're like, I feel something.
Oh fuck that, push that down, and do what
that person told me to do, right?
Or I can't do that because that will make
that person mad.
And we're constantly getting information
from our bodies and we're pushing it down consistently,
and here's the thing, our bodies have evolved
to have very, very, very finely tuned threat detection.
The prefrontal cortex of the brain is one of the
best threat detectors in existence,
because guess what we can tell the difference of?
Facial expressions.
Does different facial expressions mean different things?
What do you guys think, yes or no?
- [Audience] Yes.
- What does this mean?
Nothing, okay.
(audience laughs)
I'll go over here instead.
(audience laughs)
What does something like this mean?
Safe or threatening?
- [Audience] Safe.
- What about this?
- [Audience] Scared.
- Safe or threatening?
What about?
- [Audience] Threatening.
- Have I said anything?
- [Audience] No.
- It's just the face, right?
We can tell, reptiles do not have that ability.
They're not like, oh Fred's face over there,
the lizard, what's up with his face?
They just have automatic responses.
We have evolved, and here's the thing,
all of that analysis is happening in the prefrontal
cortex up here, looking, scanning for threat.
Our body is also taking in information,
sending it up to the brain, and the prefrontal cortex
is saying, that's threatening.
Now, based on what?
Based on what happened perhaps, based on the genes
that you inherited from your parents
and the lineage before you, based on the expectations
of your peer group, and based on the pain
that you went through.
And here's the problem, we overestimate threat,
because the success and opportunity
come dressed like a threat.
Here's how, this is how we want it to be,
alright, here's the perfect blueprint,
not gonna make any mistakes, here's the guaranteed cash,
here's everybody's approval, now you're good,
and you don't have to make any significant changes.
Alright, that's how change happens.
Is that how it happens?
You're like, please let it be that way Mastin, please.
Everything that we want is perceived as danger
if we don't interrupt the automatic response,
because our body's tryin' to keep us alive.
Is that a good thing?
Is you being alive a good thing?
- [Audience] Yes.
- Okay, good.
I hope you think that's a good thing.
(laughs)
Alright, so we have to realize that there's
automatic mode, which is survival based,
and then there's intentional mode,
there's manual mode where you're like, no, no, no,
I'm not gonna do that anymore.
I'm having a response, and I'm aware of the fact
that I'm gonna choose differently.
Because just because your body has an automatic response,
does that make it so?
Does that make it how it has to be guys,
what do you think?
Does it have to be that way?
What if it's not, I'm feeling something so you're an ...
Versus, I'm scared at the moment.
Did you realize that depending on how you view life,
it sends different signals to the nervous system?
If you view life through comparison,
it sends a nerve system signal, it says threat.
And all the body's responses interpret the information
coming into you as threatening.
If you go out into the world and have
the lens of curiosity, is curiosity threatening?
Oh what is that?
Hmm, why are you scared?
Is that threatening?
What about, don't be scared!
Is that threatening?
Of course, right?
We're consistently making threat assessments,
and you've got to learn how to be curious
instead of comparison.
It's a different literal nervous system response.
I'll get into that here in a second,
but this is what emotional fitness is,
emotional fitness says my body has automatic responses
that I will choose to listen to, acknowledge,
and then begin to heal.
Begin to heal, because it doesn't have to be this way,
and the problem is long term, I believe in medication
from time-to-time, but medication is not the solution,
it's really a supplementation.
For me, I have traumatic, there's the dyslexia,
traumatic brain injury, that's pretty funny,
traumatic brain injury. (laughs)
Talkin' about my brain, right, I have traumatic
brain injuries in my brain, and I also have ADD.
I take prescription medication for that,
but I don't believe that my prescription medication
will do the work for me.
The prescription medication's not gonna say,
you know what, take responsibility for your life.
Prescription medication's not gonna say,
you know what, work harder, add more value,
take a risk, be courteous, be gracious.
The prescription medication just gives me help
because my brain is damaged.
Who follows?
Does it make sense?
Does that make sense you guys?
So when we look at prescription medication,
it's not necessarily bad, but it's not the long term
solution to the problem, because we have to realize
that a lot of times what we're doing is simply
just taking a prescription medication to numb out
the body's automatic responses,
which is a bad idea, because it's sending you
a signal for a reason.
We have to learn to listen, we can't numb the noise,
we can't numb the signal.
So emotional fitness says, I am not just a set
of automatic responses, I am intentional,
and I can create my life, and I'm not gonna
make myself wrong for my responses,
there's a good reason to do that,
and we're gonna get into that right now.
We're gonna talk about mastery.
What is mastery guys?
That's right, it's something you can do in your sleep.
You ever see, for me I always love watching
the Olympic gymnasts, and they just do where they're
flying around and they're so agile,
and you're like, how?
It's like art and technique.
Athletes have this, you have something that's just
automatic and you're so good at it that it's no problem.
Who's seen people like this?
We've all seen people like this, right?
What is it like to witness that mastery?
It's amazing!
Time just flies by, right?
There's three phases of mastery,
phase one most of us are familiar with,
it's the excitement phase.
Oh my god, it's January first, yes!
This is going to be easy, goin' to the gym, I got this!
I'm in!
This is not scary!
Fear, you, I eat you for breakfast with my shake, right?
(laughs)
I don't need any help, I got this by myself,
and for real, I'm gonna do it, no for real!
For real.
How long does that shit last?
Who here feels like you just had a bunch
of fuckin' excitement phases and then just stops?
Anyone be honest and just admit that?
You're just, fuck I got so excited,
but then it got hard, so I shiny pennyed over here
and got excited, didn't work out, and then I went over here,
got excited, and just kinda goin' around,
gettin' half-assed excited, and they're like,
I've tried everything!
Everything but sticking with it.
(laughs)
Right?
So excitement's fun, January first is about
the time we all tend to get into it, right?
Then, the most important phase is resistance.
What the is this?
(laughs)
Right?
This is harder than I thought it was gonna be,
it's scary, I'm gonna withdraw and isolate.
I'm gonna go chase another shiny penny
instead of following through on this thing
that I made a decision with, and you know what,
it's just like everything else,
all the other times I've done it.
All the other times.
All the other times.
I said I wasn't gonna do it, and I did it again.
Who's ever hit a resistance phase before,
let me see by a show of hands, right?
And what people tend to do is they tend
to stop in resistance.
But resistance is the name of the game.
How well you work with resistance,
that will determine how far you go.
Think about this, resistance weight training,
you need resistance to grow stronger, do you not?
Of course, right?
Yoga, your body will resist you.
(laughs)
Right?
You don't wanna push it too far, but just enough,
the pose in yoga begins when it gets slightly uncomfortable.
The work in your life and your purpose begins
when the uncomfort sets in.
You have to learn to anticipate it
and set yourself up, and you can't lie to yourself
that you can do it by yourself.
You cannot do it alone, everybody needs help,
and here's the thing, in this room,
I already know you're probably really good
at supporting others.
Who here's really good at supporting others?
I love helping other people.
Who here is like I can't wait to ask for help?
A couple people.
They're like yeah, help me, I need the help.
Who here feels like asking for help
is offensive, scary, and or something
you don't wanna do?
If you're really honest, let me see by a show of hands.
So, but that's the deal.
We actually have to learn how to work together,
and learning how to ask for help is the name of the game.
I could not produce this event by myself.
There's no fuckin' way.
There's no way.
I'm just the guy yappin' on stage.
All this other stuff, I didn't do.
And it takes, the term is, it takes teamwork
to make the dream work, we've probably heard
a version of that.
You can't do it alone.
You can't do it alone.
You can't isolate and be successful,
it does not work, alright?
Now, what happens if you bust through
this resistance phase, you stick with it,
you have support, you have a tribe,
you have mentors, you're getting consistent feedback,
you're comin' back, you're getting in the hang of things,
that's when you earn mastery.
And your thoughts then, you forget,
see here's the thing, when you get to the end of something,
you forget how hard it was sometimes.
I've had clients that are like, yeah,
when I was havin' a child and I was giving birth,
I thought to myself, never gonna fuckin' do that again,
and then like six months later they're like,
maybe we should have another kid, you know.
Or you go do something really hard,
and then at the end of it, you're like,
that was no big deal.
But in the moment, did it feel like a big deal?
Come on guys, yes or no?
- [Audience] Yes.
- Of course it does.
But at the end, you're like, I can't believe
I doubted myself.
Challenge is how I grow.
These are the conversations you have with yourself, right?
I'm not isolating, I'm showing up more,
I'm asking for help, I can't do it alone,
and this is a lifestyle.
Habits can be created in 30, 60, 90 days,
it takes a year or more to create a lifestyle.
What's the difference between a habit and a lifestyle?
A habit is one thing you do in your life,
it could be getting up early at five a.m.,
that's a habit.
Changing your lifestyle, that quadrant
that you filled out at the beginning,
is when everything's at an eight or above,
which is a little bit different than a habit, right?
And yes, little steps are how you get there.
How do you eat a field of kale?
I say this because if I say steak or cows,
people get offended if they're vegans, right?
Kale is just as offensive by the way,
but it's fine.
(laughs)
How do you eat a field of kale?
One bite at a time.
So that's why if you want a habit change,
dedicate yourself to something for 30 days, 60 days.
If you want lifestyle change,
do this from now on.
(funky music)
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