I can't change the reality that my body is dealing with but I can choose how I respond to that reality.
♬ Don't you think we're better together ♬
♬ Oh Honey ♬
♬ I think we are ♬
[both] Good morning!
And happy Monday.
First day back at home.
We got back home yesterday afternoon, and it has been
great to be back in our own space and one of the things I am most struck by is that no one has asked me
any questions!
Last night when we were going to bed I said, I think Mary was half asleep and I go,
what time do you want me to wake you up for vitals?
And-
I remember feeling...
thoroughly perturbed.
[chuckles]
Like, not a funny joke, babe.
[chuckles] Oh man.
But those are the things that we
don't miss and we're thankful to be in our own bed.
It is actually evening now and we have had, I don't know.
I feel like, I feel like a little bit of a train wreck today, just
getting caught up on
being home and doing laundry and everything that goes into that but...
And you guys know, um...
I'll just do a quick recap. So yesterday
before they released me we did more blood work because they wanted to make sure that my
labs that were quite low were at least coming back up,
and they were trending in the right direction.
And so they said you are good to go
home and just get follow-up bloodwork in about a week.
Um, I am on an antibiotic. I,
originally, they had taken me off of it because of my blood counts.
But then because my blood counts were too low they had to put me back on it.
Long story, but I'm still on that. Um...
But it's...it has become clear, like, right before we left the hospital
I was standing up to pack and I started coughing really hard and um...
around that same time I started having a lung pain in my left lung and it hasn't gone away, so
for two...all of yesterday and all of today and
so I've already spoken with my doctor and
he's coming up with a new plan of action and
something I said to my team was just...
a huge thank you for not giving up even though the last two courses of IVs
haven't done what we were hoping.
And symptomatically I'm getting worse.
So I'm
thankful for a team that continually fights for creativity and for
helping my body in whatever ways we can, but for now, it's a matter of just
pushing through and um...
[clears throat]
Yeah, I was just gonna say that there's just a...
mixed range of emotions with being home from the hospital like, obviously like we were saying like,
it is great to be in our own bed, but it's also
just that
sobering reality of...
Mary's coughing a lot and
not feeling well...
And not...
I feel like the hardest thing for me being home is seeing Mary not be able, being able,
not being able to enjoy being home
in many ways like, it, in some ways we are enjoying it, but it's just,
there's just that reality that her lungs aren't at the spot we would hope to be and...
Mary has a perspective on...
that we're, in many ways, we're taking it one day at a time right now and...
But if you guys have been around our vlogs for any period of time
you'll know that Mary has this...
kind of relentless joy in the midst of just her body being broken and
experiencing the rough realities of that and so, what do you always say?
I feel like I'm gonna cry.
Mm-hm.
My body might be broken, but my smile always works.
And people have like commented like, how can you be smiling or whatever?
I think
because I can't change...
I can't change the reality that my body is dealing with but I can choose how I respond to that reality.
And so
even though today was a mix of...
fever...
tons of coughing anytime I leave the room, like, move to a new place in the house or like
all the things that it was full of...
it was still life.
And life is worth living and
I think smiling makes life even better.
Yeah, and
one of the things I like about that saying that my body may be broken
but my smile always works, is like,
it doesn't mean you're always gonna have a smile on your face.
No.
It just means that
you might not be able to change the
broken situation, but you can change the smile, you know? Like, you can find ways to smile amidst the
pain and the brokenness of this world, and so...
while Mary was in the hospital last couple of weeks we took that saying that Mary
kind of lives by and we put it on a sweatshirt and-
Peter designed this and he surprised me with it.
And I'm really loving it.
So it's kind of like gold lettering here and then white here and...
[clears throat]
It's, so specifically this one is the sweatshirt. It's the same
kind of sweatshirt as our like, laugh every day one, that oatmeal color.
This one's black and I have to tell you it is even
softer than the oatmeal color.
I think this, because it's a solid color,
it's like a different like blend and so it does have kind of a softer feel but it's the same
cut as that other sweatshirt.
Yeah. It's that French terry. So it's, if you guys have that sweatshirt this is the same feeling.
And then he also put our I choose joy on a sweatshirt as well.
I know some of you guys have been asking for those now that it's fall.
It's officially fall.
Yeah, we also have the gratitude. So, the gratitude collection is all now on
sweatshirts as well in our online store, but we also put...
This design is available just
uh...
in black and it's on a t-shirt and a sweatshirt.
So.
And these are added to the gratitude collection, right?
Yeah.
Because it's like lumped in with like
statements we live by.
Yeah.
Like with gratitude and I choose joy, and that sort of thing.
But um...
We just, we just hope that some of these kind of mottos that have come out of these videos that we've created,
I feel like all of the shirts and things that we've created have come out of a video or
us just sitting, videos like this one where we're just sitting, talking to a camera.
Processing.
And processing life and realizing, you know what?
You can be an overcomer and you can laugh every day and find and choose joy and...
your body may be broken, but your smile always works and...
We hope that they can be an encouragement and inspiration to you guys
amidst whatever your journey looks like and...
So.
I will say...
[clears throat]
One of the parts that I feel...
when I'm not feeling well...
I lose some of my like
responsiveness.
So, like,
typically when Peter and I are
getting ready for a meal or something and we're both excited about what we're gonna eat
I'm expressing that and I'm saying like, oh this is gonna be so good or like...
whatever, just dialoguing and I've noticed as my lungs are...
[clears throat]
Struggling more I'm just more quiet.
I'm all perky tonight because I've been quiet all day and we need to vlog and
um, I just, I miss being...
able to just like banter back and forth and like laugh and
like, obviously I'm still laughing but then I cough afterward.
If you guys missed our livestream
we showed some exclusive footage of Peter
gagging from our security camera because he was
emptying the fridge and we watched it and I laughed hysterically.
It was last night when we were going to bed.
I was telling Mary about, because I, she, when we got home from the hospital she came up to the bed and...
[clears throat]
And fell asleep and I was like, all right,
I'm gonna get some work done before I crash
and so I was clearing out the fridge and if you want to watch that it's in
the livestream yesterday, but what I was gonna say was I was telling Mary about it.
She's like, well, we have a security camera in there.
Let's look at it and we laughed so hard and then she coughed so hard. I felt so bad.
But that's the thing. I don't feel bad about it.
It's just like, it is exhausting but that's part of life.
Like, when things are worth your time or energy, they're often exhausting.
So for me, laughter is worth the time and the energy and the coughing. It is worth it.
However, I do find that during days where my lungs are more like on edge
I'm much more like monotone because I'm avoiding...
the coughing. So even if that's one time today when we were watching that security footage and I laughed...
I'm thankful for that because that was memorable and...
Peter's always supportive to...
help hold me up when I'm hunched over coughing and...
[clears throat]
Anyway, he made this amazing shirt for me, and I'm really thankful for it. And I hope you guys love it too and...
So if you want to support some of these...
new Frey Life merch, there's a link down in the description, and.
[both] As always, we will see you tomorrow.
And hopefully we'll pick up the camera earlier in the day.
I think we will.
We'll see how the day goes.
[both] Good night!
♬
And we have the cute little poodle.
I think he's happy to be home too.
[Mary] Oh my goodness, he's so happy.
♬ ♬
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