my question is you know I do some
movement exercises variation ones and
they bring me to stillness
so I experience stillness when I do
these movements and I lose it when I
come to my work now I do some pauses
breathing's before I start my work but
when I'm provoked I'm getting into the
power games especially when I am
criticized so can you recommend
something in this thank you okay
what yes I like the way Dmitriy breathe
yes that's good it's so called panoramic
breath when you breathe in all
surroundings so what would you recommend
well this is you are able to access that
dimension of presence when you are not
disturbed by external situations when
you're not being challenged the ego is
inactive inactive at those times and
when you go into ordinary work
situations and so on you begin to relate
to people and immediately the ego with
its old conditioning comes back and
takes you over and you lose yourself in
the roles you play and so on so one when
do you know do you because we had a
questioner earlier that talked about
playing roles and becoming aware of the
role playing afterwards after the event
do you become aware at the end of the
day or to become do we become aware in
individual instances after like a few
minutes after his happen at work at what
point does the you ban has come in it
depends if the situation is minor
I'm aware I guess five minutes after or
maybe into the situation but when I'm
provoked deeply or for instance when I
am deeply criticized by my boss I can be
in this for for a week and only on
weekends when I do the movements to
change the tense body position into
their last one I can manage to unless it
was again yes another a very helpful
thing you can do is not just confine
your presence practice to those periods
at home but bring in small very brief
moments of presence into your everyday
life for example I don't work you can't
work no matter where no matter where you
are you may be sitting at a computer
talking on the phone or whatever it is
let's I'll give you two or three
examples the phone rings
it wants to be answered let it ring two
more times and it's necessary before you
answer it the phone rings normally you
would pick it up yeah let it ring twice
and be present while it rings allow it
to ring but be there in your presence
use it as a signal just tell you be
present now so that's one way of pre
bring a little bit of presence into an
ordinary work situation or you're at a
computer put a flower next to your
computer and occasionally look away from
the screen and look at the flow it
doesn't take long just 20 seconds is
final 30 seconds look at the flower and
feel its aliveness inside you it helps
you to anything natural can bring you
back into presence much more easily than
things that are man-made in their body
at work when you are find a moment turn
away from your desk or whatever it is
and feel the alive as you do your
breathing but not the whole thing just
for a few seconds one conscious breath
in and out is a meditation you don't
have to wait
wait for your meditation until you get
home bring the meditation into the
spaces into your daily life as many
spaces as possible that's what otherwise
the mind has such momentum the egoic
mind that it will drag you along and you
will lose yourself in it bringing in the
small spaces and then your daily life
daily life yeah
in addition to your panoramic breathing
yes that's beautiful and then you will
find that in the midst of situations
right the awareness is more likely to be
there and we've already you may have
listened to what I said to a previous
questioner about becoming aware after
after fallen falling back into old
conditioned behaviors and you will
experience the same thing especially if
you practice bringing Small's these
spaces of awareness into a line then you
will find that gradually presence will
be strong enough even when their boss
speaks to you and Chris even when he's
on the third ring so it's a gradual
process web presence goes into into
every aspect of your life gradually it
permeates your everyday life because
that's what is needed even if you were
the greatest meditator and you could
achieve sublime states twice a day at
home and you meditate it wouldn't help
you if presence does not permeate every
aspect of your life yes and because
otherwise you'll be like the father was
meted he was doing him many the in
Buddhism to have a meta meditation it's
called meditating on loving-kindness so
you sit there and say I love all the
people in this house I love all the
people in this city I love all the
people or the older people all the
people all the people in this house be
at peace all the people in this city be
at peace or the people in this country
be at peace and then the daughter comes
in and says dad
the father says leave me alone can't you
see I'm doing loving-kindness meditation
Thank You Dmitry its but it goes back to
what you're saying earlier can I sense
my that's what you said on page 79 this
is in last week's chapter on core of ego
can I sense my essential beingness the I
am and the background of my life at all
time
yes that's what you're saying to you to
be more accurate can I sense the I am
that I am at this moment
can I sense my essential identity as
consciousness itself even when my boss
is yelling it and then and then perhaps
precisely in moments of greatest
challenge there is a greater intensity
of presence because those moments would
be his most sacred moment which is not
dangerous that's how you know it's so
it's when your greatest challenges
become instead of drawing you into
unconscious reactions when your greatest
challenges intensify your presence then
that that's how it works that's the
miracle and that's how the beauty of
this work thank you again for skyping us
from Moscow thank you thank you very
much thank you okay I'd like to tell
that I'm very familiar with your voice
because I have some recordings of your
talks so your voice already permeated me
and thank you very much for bringing
presence into the life of this planet
thank you thank you thank you I like all
your books in the background there -
Dimitri that's very nice so I want to
look at some of the email questions
which there's a question from Grayson
Pleasant in California that says since
I've been an owner of a dog I find
myself so much more in the present my
question is why am i naturally so much
more present with an animal than I'm
sometimes dealing with people ah yes
well the the animal does not provoke
thought activity because the dog is not
thinking when the dog looks at you the
dog is not thinking what kind of a
person you are the dog is not judging
you there's the dog is at a stage of
consciousness prior to the arrival of
thought although the dog is in that
status certain similarities with with
state of presence which is instead of
going beyond thinking where we are going
in both cases if you are if you know
that way the dogs are a little more
enlightened than we are in some ways the
dogs are more connected with being with
being then we are then normal humans are
normal humans and so that's where they
are all the time yes and I sometimes
called I'm dogs and cats particularly
because that's the the book pet said for
millions of humans they're very
important in their lives right
I call them guardians of being a big
audience because for many people they
fulfill that function they for many
people who are so lost in their minds so
much involved in their thought processes
the only moments they have when they are
not trapped in that is when they are
relating to their animal their page all
right you I have to get to this quote oh
but it well get to that in a moment you
say that the role of the parent should
not be despair children from all
suffering why not
because no at first of all you can't
it's it would be futile to even attempt
of course you protect the child as much
as you can but every human being has to
go through a certain amount of suffering
you cannot come into this planet and
avoid suffering everything that's what
being a human being is yes and there is
a map there's some discord yes yes and
that is how we grow if there were human
being that hell could have avoided all
suffering that human being would be
totally superficial and totally
identified with the external form of
things because it's suffering that
drives you deeper drives you within
where you need to find and by suffering
do you mean not getting what we want
well that's one form of suffering too
there are different forms of suffering
many forms of suffering of course are
generated by the ego itself these are
ultimately unnecessary forms of
suffering right but they don't they are
necessary for as long as you are
unconscious and another word for
suffering would be challenges or
difficulties correct
yeah challenges can't be a human being
without being challenged no that would
be you would miss the whole purpose for
being here okay so you need to see even
your children will not escape their will
through now later and usually sooner
than later they will encounter their
form of suffering whatever it is you
protect them as much as you can but when
you see certain things are inevitable
they may do things unconscious behavior
they may generate their own suffering
self-generated or it may happen to them
from the outside but no matter what it
will happen and then rather than going
into intense anguish see this is human
suffering and every human you had to go
through your forms of suffering in my
case for example I had my parents would
had very heavy pain bodies there was
constant conflict at home and that was
my constant suffering pain party that's
next week yes yes we'll talk about that
okay
no finish the sentence I just want to
say this it cost not only applies to
children it also applies to other people
that may be close to you and going from
their suffering you do what you can to
help them what whatever you can the
important thing is that you don't go
into anguish yourself because by going
into anxiety and anguish yourself you're
not helping them at all because whatever
state you are in transmits itself to
others how does playing a role at work
keep us from being powerful well if you
play a role at work you always have a
secondary motive in what you do because
the ego is at work you're not totally
focused on the task at hand because
there is some self-interest there you
want to protect yourself you want to get
credit for yourself you want to perhaps
eliminate other people around you or
perhaps you want to use other people for
your own purposes a lot of times this
happens when people get promoted
to supervisors yes they were really good
in whatever position they had and then
they get present promoted to supervisors
have a little more power they're not
just now functioning at work for
themselves but now they're over other
people and a little bit of power goes to
their heads
and before you know it that's absolutely
right and that's the the ego if you have
a position of little power then the ego
is kind of there in potential it's there
it's latent as far as your work
situations going on the similar
situation you have in certain
third-world third-world countries uh-huh
where often you find a revolution
overthrows the government and the people
who initiate the revolution have the
best intentions they want eventually
they want to do away with corruption
they want the best for their country the
moment they get into power the latent
ego in them although they had good
intentions comes up and they repeat the
same dysfunction that they wanted to do
away with happens all the time
yes all right charlie lives in stockholm
chalet you were on earlier today we
scheduled on The Oprah would surely well
you've been up a long time I hear you
have a question about raising your
three-year-old daughter go ahead I do
have a question about that a lot of it I
guess has been answered just by
listening to tonight's show but the
question about her is how do you stay
present when you're trying to discipline
your child and she starts screaming and
shouting and she's only three so I can't
really explain to her that it's really
your ego coming out and I feel like
she's learning these roles I guess my
question you know I want her I want to
raise her as a more conscious human
being you know I don't want her to be
awakened at the age of 35 like me how do
you raise a more conscious child and how
do you seem more conscious when you're
dealing with conflict because I don't
want to set a negative pattern for you
know when she's 16 and she wants to
borrow the car
yes yes I would suggest that you pay
first of all pay more attention to your
inner state and to what is happening to
your daughter because I believe you
experience perhaps your daughter causing
you feelings of anxiety sometimes yeah
right on you believe that now that is a
bit that seems to be the case that your
daughter by going through certain kinds
of behavior causes your feelings of
anxiety but ultimately that is not the
case you caused yourself the feelings of
anxiety when your daughter refuses to
eat she's not making you anxious only
you can do that so it is vital what
state of consciousness you are in what
emotional state you are in when you are
relating to your daughter because if
you're often in a state of anxiety you
get into a vicious circle the anxiety
that you believe where it was caused by
a daughter's behavior but it's
ultimately caused by your reaction to
your daughter's behavior that anxiety
then will affect her and that is a
nervous energy field that will provoke
further so-called bad behavior in her
because children absorb I was gonna say
a three-year-old is absorbing that and
picking up that energy more than even
your language yes they're picking up the
energy that you carry yes right yes yes
so your that is there in their language
that's right yeah and so your first
realization is to your first interest
needs to be in any situation with your
child okay there's the external
situation there's what the child is
doing or is not doing but should be
doing or screaming or whatever is or not
eating not wanting your too bad whatever
children do but your first interest
needs to be okay what's my inner state
right now am i accepting this moment
no matter what form it is am I saying
that's true am i what I suggest is the
little mantra that I recommend is to ask
yourself whether you can be there as the
space for whatever your daughter does
can I be the space for this this is a
general thing that many people will find
helpful no matter what situation you go
into in life at work at home wherever
the present moment am I able to accept
this moment as it is or am I saying
this should be different you should
behave differently but she's not
behaving differently she's behaving the
way she's behaving right now you need to
accept that right now she's screaming if
that's what she does this is can I be
the space for that and then you see her
screaming another this is related to the
little exercise we had earlier where you
fail to yourself becoming transparent to
an irritating external situation so that
you don't have a reactive barrier inside
you that's hard to do though when your
child is screaming yes your immediate
instinct I would think is to stop the
child from screaming yes to resist the
screaming to try to prevent more
screaming and so the resistance of that
the angst and anxiety of that creates
more screaming more screaming because if
you could just be calm enough to allow
your calmness to then calm your style
that's easier said than done
yes it's that's your spiritual practice
you don't need any other spiritual
practice for the next yes for the next
ten years yeah that is your main it's
far better than going to a monastery and
meditate all day long it's much more
effective make it that into your
spiritual practice and then you will see
as you go you become more peaceful and
more accepting of the present moment
more being the space then that will
transmit itself to the child and affect
the child
and if the tent will absorb your
emanation your energetic vibration of
frequency and the change will happen in
that way rather than feeling that I need
to change the change happens when you
change yeah but that is to prevent her
but that is to not allow her to do
things that are dangerous or to-- you
know he's not saying that but he's
saying about adjusting the way you are
being capital B with her yes capital B
yes thank you thank you so much thank
you so much for doing this web seminar I
hope you do more well thank you thank
you so much ah it's a way of being yes
present yes for any situation and what
you were saying is we can apply it not
just to children but to all situations
any situation and it's usually the case
the the most in some in some people's
lives they have a variety of little
challenges right there's other people
who have one predominant difficulty in
their lives whether it's another person
whether it's a health situation or
whether it's a work situation or
financial problem they have one huge
challenge in their lives and usually one
would consider the main this huge
challenge in your life as your greatest
enemy almost the greatest burden or as
Christians would call it my cross to
bear bear yeah now this it doesn't this
can actually be turned around and you
can make that very thing that is
considered your cross to bear
you can make that into your greatest
help on the spiritual path right because
it's precisely there that you can if you
can bring acceptance to that and be the
space for that situation that it's
usually called would usually be called
bad by the mind but it is you can't
argue with that this is the situation
right now can I be the space for that
then that situation takes you into
surrender and into presence so that you
know so many people when they were first
talking about purchasing this
book on the website I saw a lot of
messages from people saying I hope this
you know shows me my like purpose I want
to awaken to my life the purpose and for
a lot of people that they want that to
be something grand they wanted to be you
know saving starving children in India
in Africa they wanted to be some you
know great description or something but
what you're saying is is that if we are
allow ourselves to be fully present with
whatever our chosen function is in life
and whatever difficulties might arise
that there is sacredness in the
difficulty yes if we allow it to be yes
and be fully present with whatever it
the situation is now yes and then go
from there so because then your inner
self changes when you're fully present
with the situation you're no longer
putting up or is the internal resistance
to life even if there is that thing that
you call there's something did you call
background happiness there's something
that happened or needs to happen or
someone's background unhappiness
background unhappiness there's something
that happened or needs it he refers to
that on page 114 everybody there's
something that needs to happen in my
life before I can be at peace something
happened in the past that should not
have happened something is happening now
that should not be happening how do we
make peace with the background
unhappiness of our lives
yes so you recognize the background
unhappiness as not a content based but
as structural it's the structure of the
egoic mind to create that we had the
same when Jenny asked her quest right we
had the similar thing the guilt feelings
that she had was part of the background
structure of the ego and no matter what
situation if you haven't tackled or
recognized the structure of the ego in
yourself a certain thought forms that
repeat themselves no matter what
situation to go into they will come up
with some new form but basically the
same structure I got it I got it
so the secret to happiness you say that
so many people were writing about this
on the web
yes the secret to happiness everybody
page one
team there are three words that convey
the secret of the art of living the
secret of all success and happiness one
with life being one with life is being
one with now you say you then realized
that you don't live your life but life
lives you life is the dancer and you are
the dance I have to tell you I love this
book but I was like gee I thought life
was the was the dance and I was the
dancer and there are a lot of people on
on the web we're saying the same thing
can you explain how life is the dancer
and we are the dance why aren't we the
dancer you are not separate from life so
whatever any flight is a dancer life is
dancing the dance of form one could say
every human being and everything that's
everything that exists is part of the
dance of life uh-huh that which moves
you the very consciousness that animates
your being that that animates every cell
of your body that produces thoughts to
very consciousness that you are is the
one universal the one life that
permeates everything it's all the entire
universe is permeated by that
consciousness by life which is another
word for God God I don't see God as an
entity that head is in a particular
place somewhere haha but as the essence
the the intelligence the animating life
essence behind all life forms it's the
eternal the totality yes it's the
totality you see God you're saying that
God is your idea of God is the totality
of the essence of all life form yes and
ultimately you are not separate from
that it's the egoic mind that says my
life the moment you say my life
you've already separated yourself from
life it's a thought
never thought to say this is my life and
then you think oh I can lose my life I
am NOT separate from life because I am
live it's only through through the
structure of language that you create
the illusion of separation mm-hmm I see
the dog still knows on a primordial
level the animal the tree knows that it
is one with life so it doesn't have this
fear of death and it doesn't see itself
as separate from the rest of these so
let me ask you the big question you have
no fear of death no no the ego has
dissolved and so only the ego fears
death I know there is no death you know
there is no death okay tell me how I
have a little thing at the end of this
chapter I know you say the
incontrovertible proof of immortality I
read that and I went okay I've done a
little thing I did they are usually when
people talk about immortality they use
certain arguments should perhaps from
physics they say the energy gets never
is destroyed energy can only become
transform transform so the vital energy
that is your life because energy cannot
be destroyed must survive in some form
that's often the argument for the
survival of that life if there is no
death only the form dissolves that's
right that's one way you can approach it
but I thought I do I look at the
structure of this sentence of language
that says my life
or I have a life because most people
believe that they have a life and they
also believe that they can lose their
life no if you look at that sentence it
I can lose my life then I am separate
from life so there is no such thing as
my life you say at the end of this
chapter page 120 because I am live I am
not separate from life I am an
expression of the one life a temporary
expression in this form of the one
timeless and formless life so I don't
have a life because I am live expressing
itself as this
okay so what happens when you you you
two weeks ago talked about your your
mother and father lying in the casket
and you realized that the life force or
formlessness of that they were lying in
the casket and there were these bodies
but they were not there yes they were
not there so we're not our bodies we do
know that everybody who's reading this
book knows we're not our bodies we do
get that yes and that's what once you
can actually sense that and not just as
a it's not just to believe you can also
see that you're not your body even if
you just approach it logically and see
that when there's a dead body then the
that being is not there anymore there's
only the flesh and the bones right and
when the being isn't anymore the flesh
and the bones very quickly dissolve when
animating the animating presence isn't
there anymore all the the atoms and
molecules separate right and go their
own way right because the animating
presence is not there anymore
okay so continuing here so there's no
such thing as my life and I don't have a
life I am life I and life are one it
cannot be otherwise so how could I lose
my life how can I lose something that I
don't have in the first place how can I
lose something that I am
it is impossible so what is happening
here is I just got it hello hello beep I
got it
we are confusing the I am lifeforce with
our bodies yes yes we're confusing that
yes that's right that's right
so when this dies and becomes the shell
and dissipates and the atoms go wherever
they go back into the ground ashes to
ashes dust to dust
we are confusing that which is the
physical form the human we are confusing
that with the beings yeah and they are
separate yes so another way if you don't
like the word life you can
the universe people believe that I'm
here and there's the rest of the
universe and right if I have come into
this universe they'll angle from where
yeah I've come into this universe it
would be more appropriate to feel that
you have come out of this universe
because you are this universe
experiencing itself very briefly as a
human as a human as a human I got that
and so it wants to do that it's
wonderful but you realize there's more
to you than the person you are the
universe expressing expressing itself
yes and experiencing as a human as a
human and you called Eckhart yes for a
little while or a little while and then
it goes through other experiences and
then where do we go in a card could you
tell us that let's see what happens
otherwise you you take the fun out of it
you have to I mean if you knew the rest
of your life already the fun would be
taken out of it oh okay all right well
before we say goodbye I know there's
lots we did not get to in this chapter
we could have spent you know two or
three weeks on this one chapter but what
would you say is the essence of this
chapter the essence of this chapter yes
the role-playing chapter what I said in
the beginning that we're humans and
beings and in this body trying to
combine to live through the - yes it's
balancing the human and the being so
that you can be function in this world
of form where you have to do things and
fulfill your function at the same time
not lose yourself in that be rooted in
the depth of being so that you're not
lost in form so there's a depth to you
and rootedness in that stillness that
aliveness and then from there you
function out here and there's always
then a piece in the background piece in
the background no matter what's
happening oh and most particularly not
to be attached to defined by the roles
that we play in life and
realize what they are just rolls yes yes
yes and to relinquish the role when it's
not required anymore when your children
grow up you don't need to be a mother
father you don't need to play that role
anymore
see so many people think that there that
is who they are and so when their
children grow up they don't know who
they are anymore yes can be a crisis or
people retire that's right I had
identified where their job yes and then
Who am I
yeah you were talking about in Japan
where it used to be you kept your job
for life yes and and you were sharing
with us the last time about a man who
committed suicide
what have been many cases of people in
Japan who lost their jobs and committed
suicide because they were so identified
their company was their sense of self
mm-hmm
you
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