And at the same time....
Hey guys! Welcome back to my channel
I just wanted to film a short video so please don't mind the auto focus, sound, or lighting
Sorry about that. It's just not on my mind right now
I just want to do this video and post it to get over with
Be patient with me!
So this video will be about life update and where I've been!
Because obviously I've not been posting videos lately
And I just want to explain why I've not been posting since
Let's get started with the video!
Honestly I don't know where to start but the last couple of months has been a crazy rollercoaster for me
That probably started when I first got my new job at Nike which I love
Well, at the same time, I love it but then I don't
And you'll see why, I'll explain more later in the video
But yeah, I do enjoy my job at Nike
Obviously my barrier with my deafness, my communication with my parents and everyone else
It's very... Extremely frustrating for me and for some reason
the past couple of months, it has been very tough for me
For some reason, some people can't grasp the idea of me being deaf. I don't know
That's what I've been really struggling lately and I've been seeking out for my deaf friends.
I really needed to talk to my friends and be able to sign
Because I notice once I'm with my deaf friends, I feel much better. I'm already in my comfort zone
I was relived like it was going to be okay
Obviously lately with my communication with my parents hasn't been that great
Also at my work, obviously I chose to work in retail
Don't ask me why but that's what I've pretty much been doing since
At Nike, I do enjoy it. People are.... okay. It's all good
But obviously they never worked with a deaf person before so they have zero experience
That has been an huge challenge/barrier for me and them as well
It's just...
The reason why I decided to film this is because I've having this feeling inside burning up
It has been building up ever since pretty much the beginning when I first started my new job
It has been very... extremely emotionally, mentally, physically draining
It feels like after one simple shift, seriously ONE shift honestly
When I arrive home, oh boy I don't want to deal with this anymore
Because after one simple shift having to really deal with a lot of people including my co workers
My co workers don't really give me.. an easy job
I mean, they don't give me an easy time. That's a better word I was looking for sorry
Sometimes when I need to ask them for a simple thing so I could give the right answer to a customer
They would sometimes ignore or push me away like they don't want to deal with me
Or they would tell me that they would do it for me
I was puzzled like I can do it, you know?
So at first, I understood because they didn't know how to work with me so I let it slide
But still... STILL, after 2 months, that's still an issue unfortunately
Don't get me wrong, I don't hate it or anything. I do enjoy my job
Because I've met some people that are willing to communicate with me which is just
I'm very grateful for that because I'll probably go crazy if I didn't have that
But yeah, they're really sweet, willing to communicate, and being respectful with me
Like thank you, that's all I need
I kinda knew/expected this would happen but there's a lot of people, that wasn't what I was expecting AT ALL
Because I'm used to working with a small group of people but with this job, there's A LOT of people
It's a whole team so that wasn't what I was used to
Plus with that, I have to deal with many people. It's a lot of work
Because I always have to make sure I understand what they say and provide them with what they want/need
It's very tough for me and it takes a lot of energy out of me
But that's what I chose to do. I do really enjoy helping people and giving them a good experience
So yeah, that's what I chose to do. I knew exactly what I was getting myself into
But again, I wish it was easier because obviously compared myself to a hearing person
Obviously, communication would be the same but being a deaf person, it's different
Mine's using my hands to sign while they use their mouth to speak
But yeah, with this job, my feelings has been all over the place
Because obviously I get bad days, it's very emotional. It's all over the place
I would be angry, sad, or whatever. I would be frustrated, usually most of the time it would be the case
But that's what it is like in retail sometimes
But obviously sometimes it's harder because I'm a deaf person
Sometimes people would ask me stupid questions or don't think of me
Like what I really mean by that for example, it just happened today
I just found out that we had a staff meeting soon next week, I had to think ahead of time like get an interpreter
I asked one of the managers to get an interpreter for the meeting and explained my reason
They were confused and asked me why? Like why did I need one for
Back of my head, I was like did you really ask me that question
I was like whatever and explained again. They were like ohh okay fine I guess let me ask other managers
They were like, let me see whatever. I was very annoyed
That's what I meant! They don't really think about my feelings or what I need
Because obviously I need an interpreter!
Besides that, stupid questions. Don't even let me get started with that
Obviously throughout my life being a deaf person, I do get asked a lot of questions are just... You know?
But this... This one is an exceptional
Some has asked me how did I learn how to read and write?
Because they thought being deaf was a mental thing
Couple of other people too as well, like for example
When I got out of the car and was ready to go to work, I saw some of my other co workers
They noticed that I drove. They asked that they didn't know that I could drive
It was offensive but I pushed it away
Some asked me how do I know ASL?
Again, I'm aware that everyone doesn't know ASL but they have seen me sign before
So obviously it's a stupid question
One asked if I could drive right? I was a little annoyed but said of course I can drive
"I thought deaf people were banned from driving because the government didn't allow"
I can go on and on but yeah you get the idea. I was honestly so shook
Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy being a deaf person. Of course I take in a lot of pride
But sometimes obviously it's very tough because not everyone understands
I feel like I have a lot to really prove and show that I can do it
That can be frustrating sometimes because I see very often that regular hearing people
They have it easier if you know what I mean
You know, it's a little disappointing
But yeah, I do enjoy my job. I really do. I've learned a lot and get experience. It's very rich
Learn what it is like working with hearing people
Because obviously we don't really get this kind of chance. I'm very lucky to have this chance
And I just want to educate and show you guys
The main reason why I do this because I want to share my experiences and/or show whatever
So you guys can take it in from me or others and understand better
So you can learn what to do for next time
Because obviously I want to raise more awareness about this. Spread the message!
Because it's still an issue. Amazing how it's 2017 and it's STILL an issue
It's just after today, my feelings are all over the place. I just needed to film this video
I'm just very fed up
Honestly after work today, for some reason, I'm not that kind of person who would cry (not an emotional person)
After work today, I got in my car and I just wanted to break down. I wanted to cry
Because sometimes I feel like with my co workers, they treat me like I'm a robot with no feelings
They don't take my feelings or whatever in consideration
So yeah, it's tough because it can put a toll on myself, my feelings, everything
But yeah, that's where I've been because obviously communication and everything
I just wanted to unplug from this and technology
That's why I've been hanging out a lot more with my deaf friends because obviously yeah
Because I needed my fix with my deaf friends
But obviously yeah, that's a con but that's pretty much everywhere with other jobs
With deaf people in a hearing world/environment
But it's important to think positive and keep going! You never know till you try. It will get better
Hope you guys liked this video! Comment below your experiences, any questions you have, or anything!
If you're hearing and want to ask any questions about our deaf culture,
Please feel free to comment below, I want to hear yours!
Don't forget to like this video and subscribe if you want to see more videos in the future!
Have a good week and enjoy life! Remember that :)
Bye guys!
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