YouTube recently announced some tools to help users take charge of our digital wellbeing,
which is good because we're all miserabl-
so happy and ready to get happier!
For instance, you can now limit notifications from YouTube to a certain time of day.
You can monitor exactly how long you've spent watching videos.
Oh.
Oh god.
And you can turn on a feature so that YouTube will remind you to take a break at a given
time interval.
Now I like this idea, but I worry that it will be too easy to ignore.
Netflix does similar pop-ups asking if you're still watching, and people just keep watching,
like, Netflix, why are you judging me?
So I can't help but think that there might be a better way to encourage us
to get off YouTube.
Like maybe replace the video we're trying to watch with a Logan Paul video.
[intense music]
The Logan Paul jokes are getting so old.
When are we gonna stop?
Or, alternatively, I would like to volunteer my services, YouTube.
I've prepared several videos that you can play when someone has spent too long on the
site and you want to encourage them to take a break.
[creepy music]
Sorry to interrupt your regularly scheduled video.
I just noticed that you're scrolling through twitter in another tab,
probably not really processing anything I'm saying while simultaneously not really processing
anything you're reading on twitter.
When's the last time you felt truly engaged with the world?
When's the last time you felt truly alive?
Don't you want to feel that way again?
Hi, boys and girls!
It's story time.
Today I'll be reading "Brothers, Lovers",
a 16-part Jake Paul Logan Paul slashfic.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior Ellen Degen-
Are these videos really making you happy?
Are they really making you feel anything at all?
Why are you still here?
Why do you keep clicking?
This isn't worth it.
Why does nothing feel worth it?
Hello Rachel.
That's right.
We know your name.
We know that you're 25 years old and just moved to San Francisco.
We know that in third grade you saw Ghostbusters for the first time and peed your pants.
And we know what you did to Jessica.
How do we know those things?
Because we're collecting your data, Rachel.
And what are we going to do with that data?
We're going to sell it to the highest bidder, Rachel.
And if that highest bidder happens to be Jessica?
You're going to want to erase any evidence of your online existence, don't you think,
Rachel?
Quick, what's that behind you?
And now a brief message from youtube dot com.
Please take a break from youtube dot com.
Look I know our algorithm is designed to maximize watchtime
and that to do so it obviously has to make you spend time watching,
and I know that means that we've tapped into the parts of your brain that give you the
impulse to keep on clicking and keep on absorbing new and increasingly meaningless information.
And I know that means that we've rewired your brain so that even when you try to take
a break from YouTube you keep having that impulse to check back and to scroll and to
click and you feel empty when you don't feed the impulse.
But I'm here to tell you that you're in control.
And it's time you take charge of your digital wellbeing.
Before I go, I'd appreciate if you could take the survey linked in the description
to help me with my channel moving forward.
And if you're not taking a break from YouTube right now, you can check out my latest video
right down there about my search for a cute YouTube boyfriend, or consider supporting
me on Patreon where I recently posted some bonus behind-the-scenes clips from that video.
See you next week!
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