Good morning, how are you? So today we're going to talk about the ugly truth of
The blind spot number two and I want to tell you I'm sharing this over I'm going to tell you that
Why this is such a problem
This is one of the number one reasons that things are holding you back from having every single thing that you want
You I promise are
Hey Carla, I promise that what's going on for you is
This blind spot which is asking I'm just gonna say right now asking for permission all of the time
So whether you're joining me live whether you're joining me
you
Know in a replay welcome
Welcome welcome
and
I want to encourage you to think about this and if you know already that this is a problem if you already know that
You continue to?
You know ask people
For their opinion. I want you to share I want you to give me like thumbs up like high-five like you get it
you know a little bit of
lovin, so the reality is is when the more often we are asking permission from
people right
I used to ask have to yeah
Carla says she's have to ask for permission all the time the more often we are asking permission from people
the more often we are giving our power away and the blind spot comes in about our
Fear and our fear that we do not really trust ourselves
We don't really trust ourselves and in the comments in the description
When you share I will get back to you. And also I have a fear assessment tool
I want you to click on that and download that and really analyze where you're judging
Where your attitudes are where your fears are where your feelings are where your reactions are
because see the truth is is part of our blind spots and
This is the second blind spot. I will put a link in the other blind spot we talked about which is a
fear of judgment
Right. So this is the next layer of that fear of judgment asking for permission I call asking for
permission actually as
people-pleasing poison
It is
Poison when you are asking people, what do you think about this? And what do you think about that?
what do you think about this and
then you choose your
Behavior your follow-through your ideas your creativity your business your niche or this your that based on
all these other people in their opinion and the more that we do this the more that we undermine our
Esteem our worth all of these blind spots and all these fears that we're talking about
And again, I will link everything in the comments in the description
So make sure you give lots of loves and hugs and hearts and comments
when the more we do this
the more is the
Erosion of our esteem the erosion of our self-worth the erosion of the lake the big life that we really want to have
So what do we do when we look at people pleasing poison our asking for permission and how is this different than codependence?
You see some of these blind spots interferes you me not obviously bless. Alright, you might not even be aware of them
Or you may be very well aware of the fact that
You know you keep having to ask your mom your sister your cousin your brother now
I'm not talking about those of you who have hired consultants or coaches or
Legitimately you're asking professional people to assist you. I
Mean we all need some help. I'm not an expert in every single area. I don't know every single thing. I've taken cooking classes
I've done this I've been right but this is when it's that chronic
Need to look outside yourself
Look to other people. So how does this look like with codependence?
You see what happens frequently with women is we have this big dream
We have this big goal and we keep waiting to live it out
You know life is going by like that
we keep waiting to live it out because we keep testing the waters because our fear is is that that
Other people are going to be left behind. Our fear is other people aren't going to come with us our fear
is that
What we want is just so big we need to seek outside of ourselves to get a yes you go for it
Yes, you can do that. Yes, like be a badass
Yes be a powerhouse. Yes. Make a lot of money. Yes, was that way, whatever it is. Yes get that divorce
Yes, learn work/life balance. Yes. Go for a new business yet. We need to seek the yes from within
And so codependence is when we are tempering our behavior
Because of someone else's response we temper our behavior
Due to other people for other people's response, this is why I call it people-pleasing poison right? We're come
We're like really just putting our own needs. Our own ones desires feelings, etc. Aside for somebody else now
I know already
Alright that there's some of you who are moms that are like, well, you should never put yourself first, you know, okay
So I want you to think about this is it that you want to teach your children to?
Constantly be seeking others people's approval or are you wanting to teach your children to have to self-actualize?
To really like own what they want
Follow through on their desires their dreams their goals their mission and life their cravings their callings their longings
And you know what?
you can't teach what you don't know you can't role model this if you have an
Adopted Nisour yourself and this is why it's such a blind spot a lot of times
We think well Mary, I'm just asking somebody else because you know, I want to know well, what do they think about this?
Ok, of course
I'm not saying don't have friends don't get opinions occasionally
But there's a big difference between and I hear me, right? There's a big difference between
you know getting somebody's opinion and
Modifying your real knowing within based on that other person's opinion
You see sometimes let me give you some example
Let me give you one example really concretely, you know every now and again, I'll bounce something off my husband John and you know
What he says to me, he's like Mary
I'm not your ideal client and I'm like, yeah, I know sometimes I just want to talk. I don't actually want an opinion
I'm not seeking permission
Sometimes I just want it, you know, like hey, what do you think about that?
But there have been other times in my life
Where I was
In a horrible relationship and I lost myself. I lost my ability to figure things out myself
I lost my ability
To trust myself
I was so codependent on that person. It was so abusive
and you know
Sometimes we have these things happen in our lives as women and it takes a little get getting back in the game
It takes a little bit of trial and error to actually trust our own opinion our own self-worth our own steam our own
Confidence it takes a while to build this, but I'm telling you
This is a skill that you can build self confidence
And going for it and you know getting out of the way and stop dicking around and learn to make sure to happen
These are all skills that you can learn and you just actually forgot how because the life got in the way
so today the ugly truth about
people
asking for permission people-pleasing poison is it erodes your
Confidence in yourself. So today
Actually, I'm going to challenge you for the next several days. I want you to not ask
anyone for their opinion literally do not ask for
Their opinion and the opinions are how do I look does this look good? What do you think about this niche?
How much should I charge do you think this sounds good? I'm planning on saying this
Don't ask
Have been following me and thank you and you know, I always say like ask for what you want. This is not the same
There's a difference between asking for more money asking for the raise
asking to clean your shit up around and out of asking for your desire and
asking for permission
Asking for someone else's input because you are not sure of the answer
So today for the next couple of days I challenge you
Listen to yourself trust yourself
Don't ask anyone's permission
for anything
Let me know how that goes. Leave me a comment
I'll get back to each and every one of you and make sure that you're following me that you've subscribed
You've done all of those things to get notification and i'm looking forward to sharing the other
three blind spots again
I will link these all together in the comments as they
Are loaded so that you can make sure that you don't miss out on a single one
these all impact your life your business your relationships and
if you need a little more support get that, um
Assessment tool so that you can really it's a fear breakthrough workbook. You can go through it have it handy
I'll talk to you later. Enjoy the day
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