*for auld lang syne plays on TV*
*singing auld lang syne*
I've got no one to hold hands with!
*music plays*
Tomorrow I go running for the first time with this group I paid for this course quite a few weeks ago
And then I knew it was a couple of days away
so I was looking through my emails like I
"I need to check if they told me anything specific to bring" and I couldn't find any trace of it in my emails at all
I was searching for ages like every keyword I could think of and I could find no trace of me having signed up to this
running thing so
Secretly part of me was like, yay!
I don't have to go! But I wrote to them and double-checked and I had paid for it. I just lost the email. So I
I am going. I'm following my own advice
From my previous video that sometimes what you need to do is exactly what you don't wanna do
I am trying to get myself in a better place in terms of fitness the past couple of years. I think I've got better
I've been more frequently doing yoga at all sorts, and I'm definitely fitter
just in myself and what I can do I know I'm fitter than
previous years
I guess the routine part is something that I struggle with because I'll go a month or two treating my body like crap and then
like now I'm in a great routine and I'm eating great and sleeping great and I feel wonderful and I'm like
How how do I fall off the wagon so badly and how can I avoid that?
Because right now, I feel great it's funny because in school P.E was like
Hell! I would go through a lot to avoid it
I would cry and cry like the night before I hated P.E and drama
P.E slightly more just because it involved me being in shorts
I was already an anxious person being forced to do these things that
I just wasn't, I just wasn't ready for, standing up in front of people and
Performing and it felt humiliating
I know that the answer isn't to just like never faced anything you're afraid of
obviously the exact opposite if you're afraid of something that's gradual exposure to it, but school, I dunno, just wasn't a good
Wasn't a very understanding
environment, I just felt like a pain
Because I couldn't do exactly what they wanted me to do
I just felt like, I was letting everyone down. Maybe things have changed now. I feel like people are a lot more aware of
mental health
anyway
What I was trying to say was it's funny now I'm signing up to go do something
In a group with an instructor it is bringing up a lot of old feelings
honestly, like the thought of getting my trainers on tomorrow and going out with a group of people and stretching and like
Doing something. It's taking me right back there to being that kid
So many emotions stored up from all of that, but I'm proud of myself. Look at me now voluntarily
I'm terrified, but I'm voluntarily going to
You know do some exercise with people. I've paid for this. I'm paying?? To exercise with people, in a group?!
I dunno, it's strange. But um
Good
But I'm still terrified and if I could get out of it right now
I probably would but I've already signed up and paid for it. So
I'm gonna do it. I'm heading out the door to go to my first
running Club
thing
My
Sorry Tucker was making a weird noise. My anxiety is through the roof. I don't want to go. I regret this
Help me. I'm hoping I'll feel completely different afterwards
It wasn't that bad
I didn't talk to anyone though. I said like maybe three words the whole time
I felt like everyone else was talking and making friends and I didn't really say anything but
Hopefully I'll make friends another week but I did it! I'm back from week two and I spoke to someone this time
I spoke to a lady. She was really nice and we're gonna meet up tomorrow. I think to do a run together
Yeah, it was good, we pushed a little bit harder this week and
I got a stitch in my side and I was really feeling it but I managed it and it was okay
I actually prefer running in the cold. I'm a bit nervous about the thought of running in summer
*guitar music plays*
Someone messaged me the other day they got confused in the background of my video
you can see this door with like the bunting tied up on it and a little lock on it and
They asked how I get it out of the room. That's a cupboard. The entrance door
Is there, and exit door. Made myself a little coffee with oat milk. This is my first time trying coffee with oat milk
Normally, I just drink it black
I made a coffee with oat milk in for the workmen that came around to change my boiler the other day and
they threw it away
How cute is this cup? I got it on sale in Sainsbury's. I'd been wanting it for a long time
Uh, Tucker. No.
I'm not holding it out to offer you some coffee. You wouldn't like it. I also got a little pale minty blue one
They were both reduced. I think from like five pounds maybe to two pound fifty
I've got a knife and a screwdriver here because Tucker is really winding me up
*DRAMATIC MUSIC*
No, not really. I love you Tucker. I'm trying to break in to this ancient
Suitcase. I have permission to do this. This is my Nan's it's full of old
photographs and documents from my family history
medals from my
family that served in the war my
nan gave me this to look after and to scan all the photographs and documents and then to put them in like
plastic and protect them and
normally this just sits in her house in a cupboard unlocked like this and because I was taking it she
Closed these locks not this one. This one's fine
I think this just doesn't work
But she closed this without even stopping to think about it and we can't get it open
My nan says it's fine to bust it open that the box itself doesn't have any
significance, so
I'm gonna attempt to break in. I can reach in the side and pull things out with just one side unlocked
But I don't want to risk pulling apart some of these really old documents
I'll get her a better box to store it all in as well afterwards
come on, come on. Yes!
This is so exciting. I am
Sad to think that when I was a kid, or teenager
I probably would have thought it was boring if my nan got out a bunch of photographs of people
I didn't know but I feel completely differently now
I want to know everything I want to preserve everything and I want to find out as much as I can about these people and
It's probably because I'm getting old and thinking about a family myself and everything. These medals
I think we're my (great) aunt Rose's. My nan said that she wore this on her hat. It says ATS because she was part of the
Auxiliary territorial service, which was a women's branch in
Second World War a
Voluntary women's branch. She went to the sick bay for period pain and a bomb was dropped on them
This is her soldiers book this I thought was really interesting. So there's a list here like an itinerary of
Everything she's got how many blouses and skirts and socks and whatnot she had. This is Rose.
Her sister was my Nan's mum and in her honour
My Nan's mum named my nan Iris Rose and then my mom named me Kiera Rose
So we passed the rose down from her. This is iris my great-grandma. This I think is my
great-great
Granddad, no great-great-great Grandad
Royal Air Force certificate of service book
"A very conscientious worker works efficiently without supervision
He has a very pleasant manner and made a very good NCO
He always displays a great initiative all together a thoroughly good man" signed T Bennett
1953. There's lots of little documents like this that are not in great condition and I'm kind of scared to open them up
This is from
1922 it's a birth certificate
I'm gonna work on that for a little bit today and then I might treat myself to an afternoon bath
I like baths any time of day
But there is something really nice about an afternoon bath when you kind of ought to be getting on with
Doing some work or something but, instead you're just in the bath. It feels actually good to me, extra extra good
During the summer when you can hear the birds singing and there's sunshine coming through the window
It's a bit dingy out at the minute
But, though there is something very satisfying as well about having a bath while it's raining and really cold and horrible outside
*BAGPIPES MUSIC PLAYING*
I'm out today for my first bit of running homework. Alex has come with me as my bodyguard
I feel really awkward just being outside in running clothes. My butt feels very exposed
Keep going.
keep going
But there's someone there
So. You're gonna have to get used to running past people
*loud purring*
It's the end of January and I have the lurg I felt like crap the last few days
I've basically eaten my entire vegan kind box in one day
And I'm okay with that
because I'm sick and I deserve it taking a couple of sick days and
doing some photo album arranging
I looked like a crazy person last night because I I spread all my photographs which is like
Must be about six seven hundred photographs
I had them spread all over the floor and then I was going through my Instagram and my phone albums to figure out what dates
Different photos were taken on and I was paper clipping a note with the date on it on the photos and then laying them all down and arranging them by date
Not that anyone would know really but I would know and it would upset me if it wasn't in the right order. So
Yeah, I spent ages doing that Tucker was trying to grab my pen and run off with it
I got a lot done and I enjoyed it and it took my mind off of being ill for a while
It's my running club tomorrow. I don't know if I'm going I didn't go last week
Because I had really bad period pain and I don't want to miss another week, but I don't think I could run right now
my chest and my throat feel so crap, and it's making me feel so tired and drained and I
Just can't imagine running about
Feeling like this. I hope you enjoyed this video
I feel like January it's quite uneventful for me because I mostly sit in the house and worry about my taxes and things
That's my January pretty much. Hopefully the next few months will be a bit more interesting
I'm gonna start releasing some videos about wedding planning as well
I was gonna save it all up till just before the wedding but looking at the footage I've got so far, which isn't a lot
because it's not like
You just suddenly plan something. It's like little drips of, little drips of planning
It's very gradual some of it so I don't have as much footage as I thought
So I'm gonna start doing something with that soon and will properly get into the wedding planning and whatnot
uhh I'm scared. It's not really that long way, really. Thank you so much for watching
I hope you enjoyed it and I'll speak to you again soon. Bye e
I love your bum-bum. It's the best bum-bum
I feel even sicker than when I filmed that video
My throat feels like this big. I wanted to say thank you to my $30 patrons
Thank you to Danielle to Jessa - to Jessema??
to Jessica! And Emma. And Jodie, Kyra Lauren Maria NAT and Shania
Thank you all so much.
I know just want to go to sleep as well. Do you wanna trade places?
That might be fun a video like Freaky Friday style where we swap lives for a day
That would be great because I can just sit around and sleep and lick my bum and eat
Run around crazy every now and again knocking stuff over
Which I've always wanted to do and you get to do all the work
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