Look, I'm telling you, I've seen it.
I've seen it with my own two eyes.
Cass, with the amount of crap you put in your body,
I'm sure you've seen all kinds of things.
Well, I will have you know,
that I was damn near completely sober at the time.
Right? Listen to this.
I was lying by the campfire there.
I hear a bit of noise.
So I went down to the river to investigate.
And there it was, just...
You know...
Licking an ice cream cone, huh?
Licking an ice cream?
How do you get that from what I just did?
'Cause that's what it looked like,
like you were eating a...ice cream cone.
Where the bloody hell
is it gonna get an ice cream cone?
The ice cream truck.
You're just trying to ruin my story,
and I don't like it.
It was drinking river water.
The unicorn.
Honestly, stood under the stars.
It was just beautiful scene, regal,
majestic creature.
He was thirsty.
Well, yes, clipclopping around
with an enormous horn on its head,
you know, I can only imagine the dehydration with that.
And eating all that ice cream could not have helped.
There wasn't any ice cream!
That's right. Ice cream makes you thirsty.
-Known fact. -Stop it!
We're out in the middle of the forest.
Where in the heck is it gonna find an ice cream truck?
-Just saying. -Stop it.
[Laughter]
So are you gonna say it or should we?
What?
We met your friend.
The one with the head like an old egg.
When?
The Messiah. [Laughs]
Come on. That's a joke, right?
Padre, tell me you're joking.
I don't think I have a choice.
What are you talking about?
Course you have a choice. You've got lots of choices.
What about finding God?
-I found him already. -What?
Sort of.
Do you remember man-dog?
No.
I knew there was something about that dog.
I got to thinking, is it worth finding a god like this?
And honestly, I... I don't know.
What I do know is someone worse
is getting set to take his place.
All right. Let him take his place.
They've been rotating kinky gods
on and off since the beginning of time, you know?
We've always been all right.
Not this time.
Humperdoo being the savior of the world?
No.
I have to do this.
See? Told you.
No, I don't see. I don't see this at all.
Look, you, the Messiah, no offense, padre,
but that has got to be the stupidest thing
I've ever heard.
-Why not me? -Have you met yourself?
Padre, you drink, you fight.
You like to break people's arms
just to hear the sounds they make.
You're just a person,
like the rest of us, Jesse.
No, I'm not, Cass.
See, I was given this power --
me, not anyone else, me.
You know, a long time ago, I made this pro--
A long time ago, I made this promise to me dad to be God.
We remember. You made a promise.
You did. What about us?
Well, you can come with me.
Hard part's over. The saint's gone.
We can go back to saving the world and having fun.
God, do you remember that time,
and honestly, it feels like ages ago now,
you were talking about bikinis
and just getting into trouble, right?
To me, that's fun. That's fun.
Not bowing down to Lord Jesse.
Come on, Cass. It's not going to be like that.
No? Well, what's it gonna be like, then,
'cause I'm super curious to hear about it.
I don't know.
Guys...
come on.
I love you, Jesse...
till the end of the world.
But you got to be honest with me.
What do you need us for?
What?
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