- The one most common denominator of recruits
for ISIS are boys and girls with minimal or no
father involvement and you know,
my goodness it's just so apparent.
The psychological savings and the fiscal savings
we would create if we had this focus
more on how do we get fathers more involved.
(lively music)
- Dr. Farrell, thanks for sitting down with us.
You have proposed what is both a radical and controversial
theory but also just like complete common sense to me
when it comes to figuring out why so many of our young
men are involved in mass shootings.
Tell me what your theory is.
- Well what I've looked at is the people who are
involved in mass shootings, particularly the more
complex ones like when eight or more people are killed,
26 out of the last 28 mass shootings where eight
or more people were killed, the boy who did the killing
was, had minimal or no father involvement,
almost always from a broken family.
Among the, so both the school shooters and the mass
shooters, they have this common denominator
of minimal amount of father involvement.
And then I looked at the ISIS recruits.
Studies of ISIS recruits, that the initial studies
didn't even ask the question about father involvement
but it was brought up by the boys so frequently
that the sociologists went back and asked the question
more systematically and found that not only the boys
who were doing the, being recruited for ISIS had a lack
of father involvement but also the girls who were recruited,
in much smaller numbers for ISIS had a lack of father
involvement and that the one most common denominator
of recruits for ISIS are boys and girls with minimal
or no father involvement and you know,
oh my goodness it's just so apparent.
The psychological savings and the fiscal savings
we would create if we had this focus more on how
do we get fathers more involved and what do they
contribute that we don't know about and so those
are so important.
- So the this apparently is controversial in some
corners and every time there's a tragedy, another tragedy
and another shooting, everybody sort of falls back
into their political corners and you know,
some people blame the NRA and some people, the NRA blames
Ritalin and some people blame violent video games
and violent TV programs but so few people are talking
about this phenomenon, that it's about fathers
and that there's a responsibility here
that civil society has to wrestle with solutions.
- Yes, our sons and our daughters, they have the exact
same family values, they have the exact same families,
they're exposed to the exact same violence on TV,
violence in the media, they have the same access
to the same guns and our daughters are not doing
the killings, our sons are and so what we need
to understand is that when a family is broken up,
our daughters suffer but our sons suffer more.
They suffer on a cellular level, they suffer
on a psychological level, they suffer on a depression level,
they suffer on a propensity toward suicide level.
They suffer at a level of dropping out of school
and when a boy drops out of high school that means
a 20 percent chance of being unemployed in his twenties.
When a boy has a 20 percent chance of being unemployed
in his twenties that means he has a very good chance
of having his testosterone channeled destructively,
rather than constructively and destructively
channeled testosterone is one of the world's
most dangerous forces.
Well channeled testosterone is one of the world's
most constructive forces.
- Last night during your lecture, you talked about
the tragic slide by which a young man who didn't get
that attention, didn't feel respected or listened to,
could lead to shooting up a school.
- Yes.
It goes like this.
When dads are involved, they tend to be much more
likely to set boundaries and enforce boundaries,
mostly enforce boundaries and they're able to do that
in part because they bond with the children,
they bond with the children by doing things like
rough housing so the children want more of dad
and the excitement with dad so as a result of that
excitement that they want more of, the dad can say,
you can't get to bed, you can't have any more
rough housing until you get all your chores done,
all your homework done, etc. and so the children
learn to focus on getting their chores done
and getting their homework done so they don't get ADHD
nearly as often because they learn to focus
on doing what they need to do in order to get
what they want to do, more of that rough housing.
When they do that, they get postponed gratification.
Postponed gratification is the single most important
ingredient to be successful and to be happy
with your achievement. So these boys that don't have
postponed gratification, and the girls too,
are less likely to be able to do their homework
and get it completed and then the boys start
feeling ashamed of themselves because they get
bad feedback from teachers, bad feedback from girls
and boys when it comes to boy, girl time.
Girls are not interested in dating losers so they don't
have that type of emotional, physical connection.
They get bad feedback from their parents,
they're not so proud of them.
They begin to withdraw, become depressed, become addicted
to video games or become addicted to porn,
they then try out real women and the real women
don't like a boy that's addicted to porn and so they
withdraw from them which only convinces them
to become more addicted to porn, and in worst case
scenarios they become suicidal or in other worse
case scenarios they become both suicidal and homicidal
and the homicidal being, I'm so angry that nobody
at school recognizes me, values me, I'm so invisible,
I will make myself visible, I'll show them and then
the anger is returned through the shootings.
- So quickly and this would be a subject if you really
want the answer to this question people are gonna
have to pick up your book, The Boy Crisis,
but what are some of the solutions,
how do we fix this problem?
We've identified it, it is fundamental, how do we fix it?
- We have to know what fathers contribute that
is different from what moms contribute,
what I call dad-style parenting that has
to be added to mom-style parenting.
We have to teach both moms and dads how to communicate
about the value of their style parenting
in order to be able to adjust it to any situation
that the children are going through.
We have to be able to get dads to study what they do
that is good so that they can explain it moms.
We can't blame moms.
Moms can't hear what dads don't say.
Moms are doing their hard work in
the way that they know how to do it.
Men have to take the lead, speak up
and have the courage to speak up.
Men can't back off with knowing that a happy life
is a happy wife, you have to be willing to have
an unhappy life for awhile because your devotion
is to your children's needs, not to your personal happiness.
(lively music)
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