你有什麼頭緒嗎? Let us know what's going on in your head.
你們是這樣傳短信的嗎? Is that how you guys text?
CRINGIEST TEXT MESSAGES - R/CRINGE OR R/CRINGEPICS - CRINGE MESSAGES
大家好,我們是 CantoMando Hey what's up guys! it's CantoMando here.
如果你是第一次看我們的頻道,我是 If you're new to the channel, I'm
歡迎來到 CantoMando 的大家庭 And welcome to the CantoMando Squad.
大家庭! Squad!
藉著情人節的氣氛 And in the spirit of Valentine's Day,
我們為大家準備了這支非常特別的影片 we have a very very special video for you guys
「超肉麻的情侶甜蜜短信挑戰」 called the cringy love text challenge.
挑戰內容是 Basically what happened is
Edward 和我整合了一些噁心的情侶短信 Edward and I compiled a bunch of our cringiest lovey texts
然後我們會讓 Sheldon 猜猜分別是誰傳的 and we're gonna give it to Sheldon to guess who sent what.
你有信心嗎,Sheldon? Do you have any idea, Sheldon?
老實說,我覺得應該挺簡單的 Honestly I think it's gonna be pretty easy like
我了解你們傳短信的習慣 I know how you guys text.
Mike 就是文法爛 Mike is basically poor grammar
Edward 的條理比較清晰,而且文法好 Edward is more structured, good grammar.
所以我應該可以推理出是誰傳的 So I think I can guess which text is whose.
你低估這個挑戰了 You're gonna get so thrown off.
準備好了嗎? You guys ready?
準備好! Yep!
事不宜遲,開始吧! Without further ado, let's go!
在挑戰開始之前 So before we get started with the challenge,
我們想感謝 EastMeetEast we'd just like to give a really warm thank you
跟我們合作拍攝這支影片 to our partner for this video, EastMeetEast,
它是北美洲排名第一的交友軟件 The number one dating app in North America
擁有超過一百萬名用戶 with over half a million users.
所以大家... So you guys...
可以去度過一個夢寐以求的情人節啦 can go find that Valentine's Day that you've always wanted.
它們也有直播的功能 They also have a live stream feature
跟新的濾鏡功能 and a new lens feature.
讓我們一起來試試看! Let's try it out guys!
好 Alright.
讓亞洲人再次偉大 Make Asians great again.
這是什麼? What's this one?
事不宜遲,開始吧! Without further ado, let's go!
我們 vs 你 Us vs you
看看你有多了解我們 in how well you know us,
跟我們在愛情中的模樣 and our romantic gestures.
好的,這是第一題 So alright, this is the first one.
「你有看起來這麼高嗎?」
Sheldon 如果你有慧根的話,你就會答對這題 Sheldon, if you're smart, you'll get this right.
Mike 比較高 Mike is taller,
所以這告訴我他並不需要... so it tells me that he doesn't really need to like...
透過拍照來彌補他的身高 compensate as much in pictures.
所以我覺得這絕對是... So I think this is definitely...
Edward 收到的短信 Edward got this one.
是我的!其實是我! It was mine! It was actually mine!
Sheldon 你知道為什麼我說如果你有慧根你就會答對嗎? Sheldon, you know why I said if you're smart you'll get this?
因為大家看到我的照片 It's because people already know I'm short
就知道我是矮的了 by looking at my photos.
「看起來這麼高」一看就知道是在講 Mike "As tall as you look" you should've known it was Mike.
下一題 Next one.
你們其中一個... One of you guys...
「早啊寶貝」
你在騙我吧?這不是—— You're lying to me! That's not–
天啊 Oh my god, okay.
「好啊」
Babe 用了好多個 A,就像—— There are so many A's in the "babe", right? It's like–
重點是,看的時候覺得很噁心 The thing is, it's cringe to see this,
但當下並沒有這樣的感覺 but it's not cringe in the moment.
尷尬死了 This is so cringe!
Sheldon 你別裝,你也會寫這種的吧? Sheldon, don't act like you don't do this.
對吧,Sheldon? Right, Sheldon?
「好啊!」
一定是 Edward It's definitely Edward.
其實是我 It was actually me.
你有所不知,其實 Mike 是個超浪漫的大男孩 Do you know Mike is actually a huge romantic...
你跟 Tiff 都是這樣傳短信的嗎? You text Tiff like this?
這不是 Tiff No, it was not Tiff.
是以前的短信好嗎,我不想為自己辯護 ...past messages, alright, I don't want to explain myself,
但還是要說一下 but let's just say that...
你知道,人是會變的 you know, people change over time,
你知道 and...you know...
現在的你為什麼不這樣打字? Why don't you text like this still bro?
「早啊寶貝」
有多少個 R 啊? How many R's is that?
1、2、3、4...我的媽呀 1, 2, 3, 4...Oh my god, man.
Sheldon,你輸掉兩分了 Sheldon, you're down 2 points man.
"Megan 我不確定我能不能撐過去" "Megan idk I'm gonna make it"
「怎麼了?」
「你把我的心偷走了」
「你要我還你嗎?」
「請還給我,我無法正常運作」
「你喜歡亞洲男生嗎?」
「喜歡啊,亞洲男孩子是我的型」
這是什麼鬼? What the hell is this?
這太好笑了! This is mad jokes dude!
這是什麼年份的? What year is this, man?
我們蓋掉了,所以你無從稽考 We blocked out the year so you don't know bro.
有可能是昨天的 It could be yesterday man.
這些都是真實存在的對話 These are real conversations, alright?
完全沒有作假 None of these are fabricated.
這肯定是 Mike It's definitely Mike.
答對了 Yeah, you're right.
我就知道 I knew it.
為甚麼? How'd you know?
我知道你怎麼猜到的 I know how you knew.
怎樣? Why?
從 Mike 的文法看出來的 Cos of Mike's grammar.
並不,我是說...Mike 的文法的確很差 No, I mean...so Mike has the worst grammar,
但我猜到是因為... but I knew because...
這很明顯就是 Mike 會做的事 This is like a very Mike thing to do
用很老套的台詞來搭訕 put some really corny pick-up line.
你為什麼要問她喜不喜歡亞洲男生? Why did you ask her "R u into Azn boys or what?"
等等,可以讓我解釋嗎? Wait, can I explain myself?
「你喜歡亞洲男生嗎?」 "R u into Azn boys or what?"
這是哪一年的事? What year was this?
是 2017 的 This was 2017.
當時我就知道 No, it was just one of those scenarios that I was like...
我不會再跟她講話 I'll never talk to them again,
所以我就豁出去說 and I was just like...
亞洲人酷斃了 Asians rock!
當然是這樣 Sure!
如果不是– Why else–
這就是 Mike 的策略 This is Mike's game.
我還能為了什麼寫這樣的東西? Why else would I write that then?
因為你不確定她喜不喜歡亞洲男生啊! Cos you didn't know if she was into Azn boys!
好啊,算了 Alright, fine!
我本來覺得挺好笑的 I thought it was a joke,
但你們非得要這麼認真的分析 but you guys have made things so serious about it.
肯定就是這樣! Sure!
「好想你,已經三十分鐘了」
不是吧? No!
「好想你,已經三十分鐘了」
「我的電腦用不了」
「所以我決定每五分鐘打給你以代替 msn」
「我愛你」
「我超愛你」
「我格外想念你」
「我格外想念你」也太好笑了 "I'll miss you extra" is jokes.
超噁心的! That's cringe!
等等,這裡寫著: Wait, it says,
「我格外想念你」
「你玩得開心點」
好的 Sheldon Alright Sheldon,
你有什麼頭緒嗎? Let us know what's going on in your head.
首先 First off–
我們沒有傳出去 We didn't send that tho.
你們其中一個... One of you guys...
你們是這樣傳短信的嗎? Is that how you guys text?
你們確實是這樣溝通的,天啊 This is actually how you guys text, oh my god.
這好像六歲小孩在打字 This is like a 6-year-old texting.
Sheldon,我是說,他寫了 msn Well, I mean, Sheldon, it does say msn.
這很明顯是年代久遠的對話 I mean, so it was clearly from an old time bro.
我傾向覺得是 Mike 的 I'm inclined to guess Mike,
但我還是猜 Edward 好了 but I'm gonna guess Edward.
猜對了! You got it right!
等下,你是從什麼線索看出來的? Wait, what gave it away?
對,什麼線索? Yeah, what gave it away?
「所以我決定每五分鐘打給你以代替 msn」
你當時幾歲? How old were you bro?
想像一下 Edward Imagine Edward like this.
「喂」 "Hey."
「喂?」 "Hello?"
對方說:「喂,你是誰?」 She's like "Hi, who's this?"
「又是我,Edward」 "It's Edward again."
請你解釋一下 Can you please explain this to me?
我當時才七年級! I was grade 7 dude!
我才七年級! I was grade 7!
嗯嗯當然 Sure!
「七年級」 "Grade 7."
「你明天出遊」
「我格外想念你」
等一下,她是去實地考察嗎?還是—— Wait, is it a field trip? Or is it a–
實地考察? It's a field trip?
她是去實地考察 It's a field trip.
她只是離開三個小時 She was gone for like 3 hours of the day,
Edward 已經在那邊「我格外想念你」 and Edward's like "I'll miss you extra."
根本不是—— It wasn't even–
我還以為她要去亞洲旅行還是怎樣 I thought it was like a trip to like Asia or something.
只是個實地考察而已? It was a field trip?
她離開了... She left...
...三小時而已 ...for 3 hours.
你就在「我格外想念你」了 You were like "I'll miss you extra."
所以 Edward 傳了 That's why Edward said,
你要每五分鐘打給她一次 you'll call her every 5 minutes, okay?
年少時的愛情多美好 Yo, young love is so beautiful.
這裏好熱啊 Fuck, it's too hot here man.
好,下一題 Alright, next.
「你想吃什麼」
「想吃 Blaze 披薩嗎?」
「還是北海道拉麵?」
「好der」
「娃麵 :3333」
「你午飯時間多長?」
「一小時」
一小時?
「好der」
好的 See, okay.
誰這麼喜歡用 :3 這個顏文字? Who uses the :3 face that much man?
「娃麵」好可愛喔 "Wamen" is so cute.
「一小時 :3」
這是 Mike It's Mike.
是的,你答對了 Yeah, you're right.
讓我告訴你 Let me tell you something, alright?
這不是「一小時」,應該要讀成「一小薯」 It's not "1 houro," it's pronounced "1 houwo."
行嗎? Alright?
娃麵太可愛了 Wamen's so cute!
要吃娃麵嗎? Wanna get wamen?
一小薯 1 houwo.
不要再說了 Sheldon Stop, Sheldon!
Sheldon!這是 Tiff 和我之間的小情趣 Sheldon! It's between Tiff and I,
不關你的事,好嗎? not you, okay?
午飯時間一小薯 1 houwo for lunch.
要吃娃麵嗎? Wanna get wamen?
這可是我女朋友啊 This is my girlfriend bro.
好壞 So mean.
可愛的小狗狗 Cute baby dog.
噁! Ew!
別這樣,你對我這樣並沒有用 Stop bro, don't do it when you do it to me.
好,下一題 Alright, next one.
現在是三比二 He's up 3-2 so far.
這麼長 It's long.
「我試著要開始健身,並穿得更時尚一些」
「而我希望我的男朋友跟我共進退,而不是...」
「對於自己的外觀安於現狀」
「那當然是很正常的一件事,只是...」
「不是我想要的」
你被整慘了! You got trolled so hard.
我們可以剪掉這部分,但... We can take this footage out if you want, but like...
不!才不可以剪掉這部分呢! No! We're not taking this footage out bro!
這...這太經典了 This...this is trolls, dude.
Sheldon,這是誰的? Sheldon, who is this?
是誰的? Who is this, huh?
「有一半鞋子我都穿不下」 "I can't wear half my shoes."
是...是我的 It's...it's me.
是他的 It's him.
眼淚都流出來了我 I'm crying.
整到他了 That was a good troll.
給個背景故事大家 Okay, so some context for you guys.
Sheldon 腳底很扁 Sheldon has flat feet
他有扁平足的問題 He has a flat foot problem right, and his...
他以前有個女朋友跟他說 And one of the girls he was seeing was like
「你可不可以有點時尚觸覺?」 "yo you need to step up your fashion game."
然後他說:「我有一半的鞋子都穿不下 And he's like "I can't even wear my shoes,
因為我有扁平足」 Cos I have flat feet."
Mike 把這個對話截了圖 Mike happened to screenshot this message
然後我們就整了 Sheldon and we trolled Sheldon.
很好笑,我剛剛看著看著 It's funny cos I was reading it,
就在想... and then like, I was like...
我想跟你們講 I wanted to tell you guys, I was like
「我有過一模一樣的經歷」 "yo I have been through the exact same thing." right.
你本來想告訴我們? You were gonna say that to us?
對啊 Yeah.
「我有一模一樣的經歷」? "I've been through the exact same thing?"
然後我發現...看起來... And I was like...that sounds like...
是我的短信 It's my text.
「好你贏了,但你想好要跟誰去跳舞了嗎?」
「不要說可能」
「我不造」
「如果一個你喜歡的人想邀請你去跳舞」
「你會希望他面對面問,傳電郵,還是 msn?」
「你不是喜歡那個什麼 Anthony 嗎?你們在一起了嗎?」
「什麼鬼?你從哪裡聽來的?」
「但你是喜歡他的吧?」
我已經知道是 Mike 了 I already know it's Mike.
你完完全全被拒於門外,兄弟 She curved you so hard, bro.
「不要說可能」她回答:「我不知道」 "Don't say maybe" and she's like "I unno."
這沒開花結果啊 This one is a freebie, man.
只是個過客 This one is a freebie.
背景故事是這樣的 I'll give you guys a brief backstory.
我當時大概是七年級吧 This was like probably when I was in grade 7.
我暗戀了一個女生 And then I had a crush on a girl,
然後這就是... and then this is...
這就是我跟她的關係的寫照 This is the depiction of our relationship.
等等,什麼關係? Wait, what relationship?
不知道...就是... I don't know...it was...
根本就沒有關係可言 There was no relationship.
就是...這個就是... It was like...this is what it...
這個就是當時的情況 This was what it was.
最好笑的是我寫了: I thought the funniest part is, it says
「如果一個你喜歡的人想邀請你去跳舞」
「你會希望他面對面問,傳電郵,還是 msn?」
我根本是在跟她講我想邀請她啊 Basically telling her that I'm gonna do it, right?
那是天真的表現,我也這樣做過 It's a kiddy thing, I did that too.
你就像是提出一個假設性的問題 You like, asked like hypothetically,
「假如有人邀請你,你會出席嗎?」 "If someone were to ask you, would you go?"
我超害羞的 I was so shy man.
好尷尬啊 That was embarrassing.
「嘿,我是不是給 Jeff 添了什麼麻煩?」
「他跟我去圖書館了」
「我看到你們在車上吵架了,對不起」
「哈哈沒有啊哈哈,不是你的錯,別擔心」
「xD 好好,我的天,什麼鬼,她是誰?」
「我想她是...天啊 O.o」
「我不明白」
太好笑了! This is jokes, dude!
絕對是 Edward This is definitely Edward.
肯定?最後答案? You sure? Final answer?
是的 Yep.
你怎麼知道的? How'd you know?
這跟我其他的短信截然不同啊 This is completely different to my previous young message.
你知道為什麼嗎? You know why?
因為我覺得我知道這是誰 Cos I think I have a feeling of who this is.
她是我七年級的女朋友 She's my like grade 7 girlfriend.
喔,那沒事 Oh, nevermind.
你以為是最近的嗎? You thought it was recent years?
不,我—— No, I–
等等,你以為我現在還這樣打字? Wait, you think I text like this in recent years?
你是在說你覺得我九年級還這樣打字 You think I text like this in grade 9, dude.
你根本是在說你覺得我高中還在傳這種短信 You're basically telling me you think I text like this in high school.
我在想,我知道這肯定是 Edward I was like, I know it's Edward for sure,
但我又想到「Edward 高中時真的是這樣打字的嗎?」 but I was like "Edward really texted this in high school?"
「哈哈畢業於 2017 年,你是個小孩」
「嘿,你才比我大個三年吧?」
「你 98 年?1998?」
「對」
「你昨晚在 Easy 酒吧嗎?」
這個很難,因為沒什麼... This one is tough, there's not much...
沒什麼線索 There's not much information.
如果 Sheldon 能猜中,那我們的友誼就更上一層樓了 Dude, this is a master of friendship if Sheldon is able to...
這是 Mike 的 This is Mike.
如果 Edward... If Edward...
傳了「你 98?」,他不會補傳「1998」的 sent "you 98?," he wouldn't clarify with "1998."
他寫完「98」就不會改了 He would just put "98."
我會說清楚是「1998?」 I will clarify 1998?
對,我就覺得你會 Yep, I just feel like you would.
好 Okay.
是 Edward 的! It's Edward!
Sheldon,我會說清楚是 1998 的 Sheldon, I would clarify 1998.
老兄,我不會補充 1998 Dude, I wouldn't clarify 1998.
我怕她誤以為我說她九十多歲 I was worried that she would think I'm calling her 90 years old.
喔! Oh okay.
「嘿!」
「啊,嗨」
「等一下,寶貝」
「待會見,我最親愛的」
「待會見」
我知道這是 Edward I know it's Edward,
因為 Mike 不用 WhatsApp 的 because Mike doesn't use WhatsApp.
等一下 Hold on.
你叫你女朋友「寶貝」跟「最親愛的」? You call your girlfriend "darling" and "dearest"?
你用「寶貝」跟「最親愛的」? You use "darling" and "dearest" dude?
她傳了一句「嘿」,然後你回 She sent one "hey", and you sent,
「等等寶貝」,「待會見我最親愛的」 "one sec darling", "see you soon my dearest".
你看看送達時間 Bro, look at the time between it.
Edward 她還沒回你就再傳一封? Edward, you double texted her?
怪叔叔! Weird, yo!
感覺像五十年代的一對老夫老妻 This is like a 1950s couple saying like
「嘿親愛的,我回來了!」 "Hey darling, I'm home!"
她上午11點還沒回覆 So basically she didn't reply by 11am,
然後你中午又再傳短信給她? and then you texted her again in the afternoon?
不是,我們約了下午3:30要打電話 No dude, we had a call scheduled for 3:30pm.
WhatsApp 上沒有通話紀錄啊 So there's no history of the call on the WhatsApp–
不會顯示通話紀錄的 There's no history of calls, yeah.
它不會顯示的 There's no history of calls.
是這樣嗎... Okay, Edward...
它只會顯示未接來電 There's only history if you miss a call,
或當你撥電話而對方沒有接 or if you call out and they miss it.
等等,你肯定... Wait, are you sure it's not...
算了 Fine!
寶貝兒好大膽啊,不回我訊息 How dare darling not replying me!
最親愛的! Dearest!
謝謝大家觀看我們的影片! Thank you guys for watching today's video!
再次感謝我們的夥伴 EastMeetEast Again, big thanks to our partnet, EastMeetEast,
與我們合作 for making this video possible.
如果你不了解它 If you guys didn't know,
它是專門服務說英語的人的交友軟件 they're the no. 1 Asian dating app for English speakers.
而且還是最好的亞洲直播平台 Now they are also the no. 1 Asian live streaming app
所以就算你不是單身或亞洲人也可以使用 so you don't need to be single or even Asian to join.
按下面的鏈接就可以加入 Click on the link below to join.
免費的 It's free.
免費 Free.
一如以往,記得按讚 And like always, remember to smash that like button,
在下方留言 and comment down below
告訴我們你希望看到什麼影片 what you guys want to see in future videos.
如果你還沒訂閱 And if you haven't yet,
記得訂閱我們 hit that subscribe button
同時按下通知鈴鐺 and that notification bell
否則我們永遠不會看到 Sheldon 的戀愛短信 or else we'll never see Sheldon's cringy texts.
他的那些才是最噁心的 And I know they're the most cringy.
Sheldon 絕對是最噁心的 Dude, Sheldon's definitely the most cringy.
因為 Sheldon 會裝模作樣 Cos Sheldon tries to be like
呦...最近怎樣啊寶貝 Yo um...what's up babe?
先這樣,再見! Until next time, see you!
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét