You helloooooooooooooo!
Venter Hi
You So! What would you like to talk about?
Venter I m here to vent i wish none is in a scenario like me
You please, go on... i'm all ears.
Venter i was 18 when i ran away from my home
You keep going...
Venter I made a mistake ..My parents were wrong people so i ran away escaped from them Worked as a caretaker for an elderly couple for 2 years and studied and 2 years later their grandson came to see them he spent a week with them and at the end of week he wanted to marry me. i barely knew anyone had no family his grandparents told me he will care for me well i too in hope of a better life married him at the age of 20 u there ?
i am! please, speak without worry. please keep going...
Venter I dint have much idea of what sex was he forced me the first time we moved into his apartment the next day was a sunday ..he dint let me unpack also i was in bed entire time for him and it pained I was a virgin i had none to talk or tell ..none to call for me i fell pregnant ..and finished college
You what happened then?
Venter i hated the baby i dint want it he forced me to have baby i gave birth premature to twin girls and idk how or why but i began to love them
You keep going... (doing great!)
Venter Husband idk our relation He loves me or my body idk I feel bad thinking how my life is i was a very ambitious girl
You How is that different now?
Venter Kids husband family
You What ambitions did you have? What did you want to do exactly? hmmmm? You there ma'am?
Venter sorry babies cried
You Of course, that's understandable!
Venter i dont even have time to vent Hes doing some call
You A mother's duty of taking care of her children is indeed overwhelming, specially when the duty is sort of forced upon someone who isn't entirely willingly prepared for it... I can imagine that, you may have to sacrifice a part of yourself everyday to raise those children up...
But those childrens have really nothing to do with it. And what some mother may do is, they may channel their anger up in a violent way and direct it towards their childen, perhaps even blaming them for having sacrificed so much in life... perhaps that's your parents felt towards you too...
I just request that, you may not repeat that mistake towards your children, same way it was perhaps done towards you by your parents. If that makes sense...
Venter I dont feel angered at them what did they do poor innocent sould they are souls* they know of world what i teach them they cling to me when they sleep
You that sounds beautiful.
Venter I love them i live for them
You *claps*
Venter i want to do everything my mom failed They are very attached to him alsi also*
You That's very admirable of you.
Venter i used to wonder why they love him they love him like hell can u wait i need to feed them dinner
You of course. Please take your time.
Venter Thanks
You most welcome!
Venter Hi
Venter hello u there ?? i m back i am sorry for delaying u ..U r very supportive
You back! sorry Welcome back! please, continue...
Venter SO u can see my life right now btw m from --- U ?
You I live in your neighbour country XD guess where?
Venter pAKISTAN ?
You yupe!
Venter Ur name ?
You Salik (Which means 'Follower of a spiritual path')
Venter I m called ---
You awesome So ---, is there anything else on your mind you would like to vent more about?
Venter Idk how to tell u being a lady But husband is very strict in few areas and i dont have much choices there
You That is very normal. So much that, I tell female venters with relaionship issues that, before they get into any sort of relationship, they should first get to know their possible partner's mindset and principles and how much he would restrict you or expect from you as a wife. To be more specific, what kind of restrictions does he exactly pose on you? If I may ask curiously.
Venter Job is not allowed for few more years he said And major decisons he only takes ANd tbh till my kids were about a year old my husband used to traumatise me by sexual abuse
You (O_O)
Venter Now he doesnt do that to me kids are going to be 2 soon
You I see... Anything more you would like add?
Venter Nd u know the usual rules problems every girl has i dont have anyone to support or come as my side of my family that makes me more dependent on him i cant be so vocal with him .i need to always appease him and go
You Understandable.
Venter its been four year since i saw my parents
You What forced you to leave them and run away?
Venter they wanted me to sell myself
You sell yourself!???
Venter prostitute my parents were not right people
You (O_O)
Venter my mom and dad were separated ..i was an illegetimate child
You How did they approach you when they wanted you to sell yourself? What did they say exactly? (If I may be permitted to ask such a thing...)
Venter They told me mom is not well now ..she is not getting much income ...u come with me my boss likes young girls my dad said
You wow... thank you for running away, and not doing what they said. Thank you mustering up the courage to run away. Many would not have done so, so thank you.
Venter I had to ...i needed protection thats why wed early with husband i faced the same abuse but it had an aunthenticity he had his rights over me .....And our relation had validity
You I see.
Venter Hmm i thought a lot from marriage but it gave me two kids
You I'm super curious to know what you expected out of marriage when you chose to marry. Would you be willing to share that aspect? Its just that, I have to marry a women in the future too, so that 'expectation' would be helpful for someone like myself.
Venter I wanted a man who supported me a man who let me study dont go by my expectations .it is immature
You of course So exactly did you thought your married life would be like, before you got married?
Venter all i wanted wasa life of better comfort see i dint get married normally not like usual maariage it was more like to cover up life
You cover up life? You mean because you had issues surviving on your own?
Venter Yes ...I felt vulnaerablei used to fear my safety and managing college helping an old couple i had no energy
You Understandable. Were you able to properly continue your studies after marriage?
Venter He allowed to complete college after that he dint allow further studies or job i fell pregnant ..so
You Of course... Anything more you would like to add ---?
Venter idk thats all i guess i want a parent idk y i want a mother too
You Its only natural to feel like that in your position. Sometimes when we don't have something, we develop great value for it. And because you may value the need of good parents in your life, that might motivate you to be very kind and caring towards your own children, unlike your parents were towards you.
Venter i hope so one of my friend sais divorce ur husband but kids need a father
You If somehow you are able to become independent of your husband, in a sense you don't need the services he provide as your husband. It is only then that I can suggest a divorce. But I believe i'm too inexperienced and lacking in knowledge to say much about your situation. I'm afraid its up to you how to creatively handle this situation.
Venter Ok Thanks for ur help i can never divorce him i dont have the support or strength or hatred for it
Venter if i was alone i would have maybe but i have 2 kids now and daughters need a dad
You Indeed. Its important that they have a father in their life, and no matter how awful he treats you. There is some good that he provides by just being there as a father.
Venter he tells me he will never ever do what my father did to me to kids he is about 9 years older than me
You that's re-assuring.
You Is there anything you have learned from all of these experiences in your life that you would like to share with the world? (Something I can perhaps tell other people about so they can draw wisdom from your pain and learn from it.)
Venter idk ..u can love a person who makes life hatre u can love ur abuser divorce is never an option
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