[Narrator:] This is Michael Thompson. He was born this morning.
His heritage is good, strong, healthy stock. No evident abnormality.
What kind of person will you be, Michael Thomp... has made its impress on you?
What town you will grow up in.
This is the street where you will spend most of your early years.
This is the house where you will live.
Your first school.
`And the people, who are the important people in your world, Michael Thompson?
There's old Mrs. Radus who lives next door.
[ Music ]
She doesn't like children very much.
Then there is Homer Buchanan who lives nearby.
[ Music ]
Homer likes children.
[ Music ]
And there's Mr. Perry the milkman.
[ Music ]
And Andy the grocery clerk.
[ Music ]
The postman who comes every day.
[ Music ]
And the policeman who directs traffic at the school every afternoon.
[ Music ]
And a whole succession of schoolteachers.
[ Music ]
And children in and out of school.
[ Music ]
In a few more years, a baby brother.
[ Music ]
And most important of all, your father and mother.
[ Music ]
This is your world, Michael Thompson, and the important people in it.
The people who will love you, who will push you and pull you, help you and hinder you
in your job of growing to be a man.
Let's look at your world a little closer, Michael, and see what it will do to you.
Let's start with your father, Daniel Thompson and your mother, Elizabeth Channing Thompson.
They love you very much, Michael, they want you very much.
[Father:] Why, he's so red! There's nothing wrong with him, is there?
[Mother:] No. He's a fine boy. I think he's beautiful.
[ Silence ]
[Narrator:] Yes, they want you very much, Michael, and they have definite ideas
of what they want you to be.
Preconceived ideas, dreams that will influence the way they act.
[Father:] Michael, Michael F. Thompson. You're going far, son.
[Narrator:] Your father expects big things from you.
He wants you to be better than he is, to grasp the opportunities he missed.
To realize his unfulfilled aspirations.
And your mother expects things too.
She wants you to love her as much as she loves you.
To need her love, to need her care now, and a little later, and forever.
Dreams, Michael, all parents have dreams.
Everyone has dreams.
Most of the time they don't even know they have them.
In a few days, they take you home and some of the most important days of your life begin.
[ Music ]
You need a nice, warm world, Michael.
You need loving care and gentle affection.
You need a happy, secure home and your parents give you everything you need, Michael,
gladly and easily, uncritically, because now you are exactly what they want, what their dreams want.
[ Music ]
Everyone knows what a little baby is like.
Charming, helpless, and appealing.
Your father and mother know it too, Michael.
They don't expect you to be anything else.
[ Music ]
And then you start to grow up, Michael, and there's a wonderful excitement about every new thing.
Well, about almost every new thing.
There are some new things that don't quite fit with your mother's dream.
You're growing up now and you don't like to be cuddled all the time.
[Mother:] He never lets me hold him anymore.
Michael, take that dirty thing out of your mouth.
[Father:] Let him alone. He's growing up.
[Narrator:] And very often, Michael, the things you do, the things every baby does,
don't always fit in with your father's dream either.
[ Baby is being fed, messily. ]
[Father:] Does he have to be so messy about it?
Here, let me feed him.
[ Silence ]
Eat. Eat.
[Mother:] Let him alone, Daniel. He's just a baby.
[Narrator:] First father says let him alone, he's growing up,
and then mother says let him alone he's just a baby.
Why don't they let you alone?
Each of them has a dream about what he wants you to be.
Each tries to mold you according to his dream.
Mother can't let you be independent, father can't wait until you're ready to do new things.
Remember mother's dream?
She wants you to cling to her forever.
Remember father's dream?
He wants you to grow into the ideal he has set for you.
Michael, you're growing up the way you have to grow up, doing what you have to do,
exploring new things, going back to old things, even when it's not quite the way your father expects it to happen.
Even when it's not the way your mother would like it to be.
Well, Michael, you keep on growing, and as the years pass there other times, happy times too,
many of them, when what you really are comes very close
to what your parents think you should be.
You've learned to feed yourself pretty well by now.
A little closer to your father's dream of you.
[ Music ]
And when it's time for bed and your mother tucks you in, you come a little closer to her dream.
[ Music ]
Sleep is good, Michael, when you feel secure with your parents, when you know they love you.
[ Music ]
But sometimes when you wake up and the night is dark and quiet, you get a little uneasy.
For little children, there's something strange about the night.
Something unfriendly.
[ Music ]
Even your toys don't comfort you, and you need comforting, Michael.
You want your father and mother.
Nothing very special or urgent about it, but what will happen, Michael?
Will your father get angry and say...
[Father:] Get back into bed right this minute.
[Narrator:] Is that what's going to happen, Michael? Or will your mother get her worried look and say...
[Mother:] My baby. Come to mommy.
[Narrator:] Is that what will happen? Will they make more of this moment than is really there?
[ Music ]
Or does this happen? What ought to happen.
[ Music ]
You see, they can modify their dreams, your father and mother.
They can sometimes break away from their fixed ideas of what you ought to do and be.
It seems so easy for them to spend a few moments making the night seem warm and friendly again,
so that you don't mind going back to your room.
But it isn't easy when mother wants to keep you a baby, and father is impatient when you act like a baby.
As a matter of fact, Michael, you're a little of both; sometimes a baby and sometimes quite grown-up.
No, it isn't easy, this business of growing up. It isn't easy in the outside world either.
[ Music ]
[Woman:] You stay away from my flowers, Michael Thompson. Go on. Scoot! Scoot!
[Narrator:] There is no place in her dreams for children.
Mrs. Radus thinks little boys are horrid monsters who want to trample her flowers.
[ Music ]
But Homer knows they're not monsters.
Homer can accept boys and girls pretty much as they are and he likes them that way.
Children don't get in the way of Homer's dreams.
[ Music ]
[Michael:] Uncle Homer, look what I found. Boxing gloves.
[Homer:] Oh, fun. Bring them down. Come on. We'll put them on.
[ Music ]
All right, fellas. Come on, out here. Let's put the gloves on. Come on, give me your right one. That's it.
[Narrator:] Children love Homer because he always lets them try out new things
without forgetting that they're still children.
[Homer:] Come on, hit me, hit me, hard, hard, hard, hard, oh.
[Narrator:] Wonderful man, that Homer.
That's right, Michael, take it home, that wonderful experience.
Take it home and share it.
Your father's pleased.
He understands about these things, but your mother is upset because,
well, she doesn't want you to learn things like boxing.
[Father:] Boxing gloves. Where did you get those from, son?
[Michael:] Uncle Homer gave them to me and he showed me how to box and I knocked him down.
[Father:] Oh, he did, eh? Let's put these on and let a real expert show you how to use them.
[Narrator:] Why does your father have that edge in his voice?
Is he hurt because he wasn't the first to show you?
[Father:] The first thing to do is to get your position right.
[Narrator:] Why does he have to make this a lesson?
[Father:] Lead with your left and cross with your right.
Go on, cross with your right.
Now the main thing is to keep moving all the time, keep jabbing, keep coming in.
Keep your guard up.
You're wide open now; jab with your right.
Watch your chin; got to learn to defend yourself. Watch it now.
[ Child crying ]
[Narrator:] No, it isn't easy to grow up, Michael, especially when your father expects
so much of you, when he's got a dream he wants very much to come true,
and it doesn't quite come true for your dreams either, Michael.
[Mother:] In a few weeks now, Michael, mommy is going to the same hospital where she had you.
You remember, the building with the white pillars.
And she's going to have a little baby for you to play with.
[Father:] That's right, Mike, then you'll have a brother to play ball with.
[Mother:] Don't say that, Daniel, it might be a girl.
[Father:] Nonsense. It'll be a boy and we'll name him Robin.
[Mother:] You're so sure of yourself. Why, ever since I've played with dolls I've wanted a girl baby.
[Father:] Dolls, don't be silly, Elizabeth.
Wait 'til you see him, Mike. You can teach him to ride your bike and box with him.
[Mother:] All you think about is boxing, boxing.
Remember the white pillars, remember the white pillars, remember the white pillars, remember the
white pillars, remember the white pillars, remember the white pillars.
Play with dolls. Play with dolls. Play with dolls.
[Father:] Don't be silly, don't be silly, don't be silly, don't be silly, don't be silly.
Box with him, box with him, box with him, box with him, box with him, box with him, box with him.
[Mother:] Boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing.
[Father:] Why do you keep harping on that?
[Mother:] You're just confusing the boy saying things like that.
[Father:] Of course, Mike, you'll have to share your toys with him,
but you won't mind that because you've got lots of toys.
[Mother:] I don't know why you do it, Daniel, I really don't.
[Michael:] I don't want a brother.
[Narrator:] For children the difference between dreams and reality is very slight.
So slight that when the baby brother actually comes, Michael isn't very sure.
[Mother:] Be careful, Michael. He's very delicate.
[Father:] Mustn't touch the baby, son.
[Michael:] Is that my brother, mommy?
[Mother:] Yes, Michael.
[Michael:] He's so little.
[Father:] What did you expect? Someone as big as you?
[ Music ]
[Narrator:] What did you expect, Michael?
Someone as big and frightening as your daydream?
[ Music ]
He cries when you touch him.
[Father:] Michael, let that baby alone.
[Narrator:] He's so little, but he can get you in trouble.
You think he'll always get you in trouble.
You think he must be your enemy.
Will your frightening dream always make him your enemy even when you're both a little bigger?
[ Music ]
Will he still be your enemy a few years later?
[Michael:] You stay here. I'm going to go play ball.
[Child:] You better take me with you or I'll tell mommy.
[Michael:] Don't you dare.
[Narrator:] That's the way it can be, Michael, when you have a preconceived idea about something,
about someone.
That's the way it is with everyone.
Without our even knowing it, we try to make things happen the way we expect them to happen.
That's the way it is with your parents, too, with your mother trying to make you into her dream.
[ Music ]
With your father trying to make you like his dream.
They really don't want the same boy and you can't make either dream come true.
It never happens that way.
Let's see what it might be like, Michael, if your mother's dream
were the chief influence in your life.
Your mother who protects you too much, who worries too much.
[ Silence ]
Who can't bear to let you grow up, to grow away from her.
After a while you even feel guilty about growing up.
[Mother:] Oh, my, just think that my boy is big enough for a suit like that.
You don't think it's too old-looking for him?
[Michael:] Gee whiz, mom. You've gotta let me grow up sometime.
[Narrator:] Yes, Michael, she's got to let you grow up, but she'll do it grudgingly, unwillingly.
It's the new things like your first long pants that make her feel lonely and old.
She doesn't want to lose you.
Every new thing, every first time is a threat, an attack aimed at her dream.
[Father:] How does it feel going to your first dance, son?
[Michael:] Oh, all right I guess.
[Father:] Taking a girl?
[Michael:] Not exactly.
[Narrator:] No, he's not taking a girl.
Why do you feel so troubled, Michael?
Is it because you know that you're not really what your mother wants you to be?
Her baby boy?
Oh, you'll go out with girls before very long.
[ Music ]
But you won't be happy about it.
[ Music ]
You'll get married too but no matter whom you marry there won't be much joy in it.
Women make you feel guilty, all women, just the way your mother makes you feel guilty.
Yes, Michael, that's the way it would be with your mother's dream running things.
Let's suppose instead of your mother's dream dominating, things happen,
things always happen the way your father's dream forces them to happen.
Remember that night you woke up a little frightened?
[Father:] Get back into bed. Get back into bed right this minute.
[Narrator:] And that day Mrs. Radus chased you?
[Father:] Stop sucking your thumb.
[Narrator:] Remember when your new brother arrived?
[Father:] Michael, let that baby alone. You ought to have better sense than that.
[Narrator:] You see, Michael, it isn't that your father doesn't love you; it's just that he expects too much.
[Michael:] Goodbye, mom, goodbye pop.
[Father:] Michael, come back here.
[Michael:] But, pop, we want to go swimming.
[Father:] Come here when I call you.
What do you mean slamming that door that way?
Haven't you got any better manners than that?
[Michael:] But, pop, I was late.
[Father:] Don't answer back that way.
Have you cleaned up your room?
[Michael:] But, pop.
[Father:] Be quiet. Now go upstairs and clean up that mess.
[Narrator:] It isn't easy with a father who won't ever listen to you, who is never satisfied.
[Father:] I know he wants to go swimming, but we've got to teach him responsibility.
[Narrator:] Responsibility. Yes, he wants you to have all the virtues, Michael.
He wants you to be the strongest, the finest, the best of all.
[ Kid's playing ]
[Michael:] Yippee, we won.
[Narrator:] It's a good feeling when you win, Michael, when you're on the winning side.
Your father should be pleased.
[Michael:] Pop, hey, pop, we won 8 to 5 and Johnny got a home run and a three-bagger.
[Father:] How many did you get, son?
[Michael:] I got a two-bagger and a couple of singles.
[Father:] Well, better luck next time.
[Narrator:] Never satisfied. Always wants you a little different, a little better.
More like his dream.
But you don't know about his dream, Michael, and you're all [?]
Sooner or later you stop trying.
That's why you avoid those school dances.
You want to go but you're afraid.
You'll come close but you won't go in.
It's hard to do anything when your father is always saying don't do this, don't do that, be the best.
[Boy:] Why don't you look where you're going?
[Narrator:] He's wrong but he makes you feel the way you do with your father, afraid.
A sharp tone of voice, a disapproving attitude, a person in authority.
Any one of them can make you feel afraid, angry, resentful.
[ Music ]
After a while it won't even have to be your father,
or anyone outside of yourself that makes you feel that way.
[ Music ]
[Woman:] Oh, I'm so sorry.
[Man:] Hiya, Mike. Well, didja get the raise?
[Michael:] Nah, I quit.
[Man:] Quit? Why? What did he do?
[Michael:] Do?
[ Music ]
He didn't do anything. I didn't give him a chance; I quit first.
[Narrator:] Not very pretty is it, Michael, either way; mama's boy or papa's boy.
They wouldn't like you to turn out either way, your father and mother,
even though it would be their dreams that helped to make it that way.
But let's go back, back to the hospital on that first day when the nurse took you to your parents.
[ Music ]
It doesn't have to happen that way, Michael, either way because your parents can break away from
the rigid patterns of their dreams or at least they can learn to hold them back a little.
Your father and mother don't have to be perfect to be good parents; they can learn that
only by bringing up a child--you, Michael--for your own sake,
can they get the kind of grownup son they want.
With parents who help you mature properly and fully, you'll have a warm, secure baby world
where you are protected and loved and cared for.
A world where you are free to follow the gradual, inevitable path to manhood at your own pace,
and with the sympathetic and understanding help of your parents, Michael,
you can succeed in overcoming childhood fears.
You can avoid having any preconceived ideas that your brother is going to be your enemy.
[ Music ]
It's difficult for a small boy to understand what a new baby is going to be,
and it's natural for him to be a little curious.
[ Baby crying ]
Of course he cries when you touch him and you're distressed, but your father will explain things.
[Father:] Your brother's a little young to play with just now.
We sort of have to take care of him for a while, you and I.
You wait until he gets a little older.
[Narrator:] With your parents' loving guidance, you can learn to accept your brother.
To accept him as a friend, an equal.
[ Music ]
With parents who can modify their own dreams to fit your needs,
you can lead a happy and productive life well- equipped to make your way in the world.
[ Music ]
[Boy:] Hi, Mike, how you doing?
[Narrator:] Well-equipped to make your way in your world.
[Boy:] He can't play; he's too little.
[Michael:] He's not too little. He's my brother.
[Narrator:] Maybe he is really too little, but Michael,
you carry some weight in your childhood community.
They accept your judgment.
You're a person in your own right, Michael, grown and matured in an atmosphere of
love and mutual respect.
An atmosphere that encourages you to go forward joyously to manhood and maturity.
[ Music ]
An atmosphere that prepares you to find your place in the world with confidence
and the best use of your abilities.
[ Music ]
You can be a well-integrated man, Michael, a whole man, well-qualified to take your place
in the family, the community, the world.
You see, there are three Michael Thompsons and probably even more.
Those other two and this one.
One of them will be you, Michael, the others will-o'- the-wisps, might-have-beens.
[ Music ]
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