Hey everybody, this is Stefanie O'Connell from StefanieOConnell.com
and I have a great group of women with me here today talking about money and
why we make certain decisions, and why sometimes we don't, and where we disagree.
You probably all read my engagement story. If you didn't, I gave back my ring,
because priorities/values. I clearly don't think you should have given back
the ring. I think you could have exchanged it. I think it's a nice public
acknowledgement that you are together and I think you should have a ring.
We're gonna get a wedding ring though.
But I think there is always a ring that is in your budget.
I'm curious what your
thoughts are on engagement rings and how much money you would expect someone
to spend. My sister just got married and her ring was like my grandma's old ring,
which i think is probably ideal. I think I would feel very bad if my
partner spent ... like three months of your
income on a ring I don't think I'd want that.
I don't like anyone telling me I should spend two months salary anything.
Things that we think are rules or that we should be following are really marketing ploys
that want to make us want to buy the ring and make the men want to buy
the ring, and so we just have to be aware. I always say as long as you're aware,
even if you know all that and you still choose to do it, that's fine, right, but
just to be aware that you know, possibly, you're really just following marketing scheme.
I will admit that my ego definitely came into play a lot when it
came to the ring. It was like a status symbol of like 'oh, I have
a ring and it's nice' and people complimented me on it it felt good.
I think it's just as a status symbol like you know you it's like a traditional
thing but I feel like people in our generation aren't really concerned with that.
I think it's kind of ridiculous if it doesn't fit into your overall like money
plan and money goals for the year and so on and so forth.
So it's literally like for me personally how I figured out how much I
can afford was, where am I at currently what's really important here in this
situation, and it's getting engaged and you know entering into a marriage, it's
not necessarily all about the stone. I feel like engagement rings are getting much more
smaller in size, but they're pretty still. I know a couple people that are like 'oh
my god it has to have a huge rock, it has to be like more than a thousand dollars.'
I'm just like it's more about the thought that you put into it, like if you
think that this is what I would like, then that's fine, because at the end of
the day it's the thought that counts. I'm all for people doing what they want
to do and what works for them and so I agree with if someone wants to have a
ring, because they love that symbol and even if it's a status symbol for them
and it makes them feel good, that's fine. I still feel like girls want their
boyfriend's to spend a lot of money on it. You know a nice diamond just shows
off a little bit. But if someone says 'hey I don't want one' you know, that's fine too.
Nowadays is not like before, before you had to do that. Nowadays it's like
'you willing to be with me, I'm willing to be with you, let's make kids!'
It was clearly important to your fiance because he got you a ring. But he was
totally fine with me returning it. We both decided to return the ring.
We've been in this relationship for six years. We're talking about having that symbol
of commitment. I'm gonna have that symbol of commitment in a wedding ring, but it's
just a few months later. And I have like agita about having something expensive
on my person. When he gave me the ring I was like, 'I need to return this
immediately because I'm gonna lose it, I'm gonna damage it.' It's nice to have
but I don't really think it's necessary. My fiance, now husband, he knew I
wanted a ring and I had like these specifications. I said I like
this kind of ring. Looking back on it I actually probably would have approached it
differently knowing what I know now. Like I probably wouldn't have harped on maybe
like clarity, that's not as important. Maybe we could have done more things
with that money instead. You know, we only living the life happy. Me and you, no ring.
Having a lot of fun. Go everywhere. And spend the money, you know, like
vacations, having fun, eat good.
I did a layaway for the ring just so I could do payments
towards getting this particular ring. Just so it wouldn't stretch my budget just so I would
stay within that, so I can be very particular about what ring I was going
to get, instead of like going nuts and crazy, and like 'whoa I think it should be
bigger, I think it should...' like, this is what I'm gonna get. This is how I'm gonna
pay for it and that's it.
As long as you get the best price for what you want that's also
a really important lesson. Whatever price point you're at, get the best value for
what you're spending. Get married when you want to get married, get engaged when you want to get engaged.
I think the wrong number is anything that prevents you from doing what you
want to do. Thank you so much for tuning in! To learn more about each of these
women, check out the links below and give us a thumbs up if you liked the video.
Leave us a comment with what you think and make sure you subscribe for more
money talk from these wonderful ladies and more.
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