You may have known every word of "Part of Your World" since you were a kid, but when's
the last time you gave the Disney classic, The Little Mermaid, your proper attention
as a grown-up?
From tyrannical sea kings, to mean-girl mermaids, and all of the cannibalistic sea creatures
in between, The Little Mermaid is a visual feast when you look upon it for the first
time as a full-fledged adult — and more than a little weird, if you think about everything.
Here's what you missed when you only watched The Little Mermaid through the eyes of a child.
King Triton's slaves?
As all the happy and seemingly equal sea creatures of King Triton's kingdom gather in the concert
hall to hear Sebastian the crab's latest and greatest work, Triton triumphantly enters…
on a sea chariot guided by chained dolphins.
Sebastian is not far behind, in his own tiny chariot, guided by chained goldfish.
Was there some kind of work study program in Atlantica for under-the-sea cabdrivers?
Why were these particular ocean dwellers kept like slaves or animals, in spite of being
surrounded by others of their own kind who were fortunate enough to freely attend concerts
at their leisure?
King Triton suddenly doesn't seem like the magnanimous leader he did when we were kids.
Ariel is a bully
With all the odds already stacked against young Flounder, you'd think Ariel would have
taken him under her fin, and looked out for her little buddy.
But no, Ariel does just the opposite.
She peer-pressures him into risking life and gills to skip the concert, drags him to forbidden
zones, and puts him in the path of a hungry shark.
When they barely make it away in one piece, Ariel teases Flounder for being frightened:
"Flounder, you really are a guppy."
"I am not!"
Let's face it, folks.
Ariel is a bully.
Queen Ursula?
When we first encounter Ursula in her murky lair, we learn of her deep contempt for King
Triton, but with little to no explanation.
She casually reminisces about the old days,
"In my day, we had fantastical feasts when I lived in the palace."
When she lived in the palace?
Say what now?
If you're a devout fan of The Little Mermaid franchise, you know that the Broadway musical
answers this question, by making King Triton and Ursula brother and sister.
The implication is that Ursula is perhaps the one really in line for the throne, but
falls from grace.
In the original animated movie, however, this is never said.
But at least we never had to figure out what was going on in that castle to produce a pair
of siblings with such interesting and disparate body parts.
Fish or foe?
Throughout the movie we meet musically gifted and extremely enthusiastic sea creatures who
love nothing more than to get down together to some funky beats.
As these slimy friends all jam and harmonize so beautifully with one another, one has to
wonder… don't they all want to eat each other?
We've got the bass, the sturgeon, the ray, the fluke, the carp, the blowfish… the list
goes on.
And what do all these underwater denizens have in common, besides their Atlantica zip
code?
They all like to eat crustaceans.
As in crab.
Either Sebastian is the master of some pretty impressive underwater hypnosis techniques,
or he's the mark in a very long con.
Let's hope those fish wake up before Scuttle the seagull beats them to it… that is if
he isn't too busy munching on Flounder.
Mermaid bimbo?
Ariel doesn't seem to be the sharpest tool in the shed.
She forgets the concert, she gets suckered into the sea witch's devious plot, she even
combs her hair with a fork.
Despite all of this, we know Ariel can at least read and write, since we see her read
and sign Ursula's contract.
So then why doesn't this literate mermaid just write her prince a letter, explaining
who she is, and what happened to her glorious voice?
Instead, Eric has to keep guessing lady's names until a crab whispers "Ariel" on the
wind.
Sebastian was right, this mermaid really is "hopeless."
"You are hopeless, child.
You know that.
Completely hopeless."
Eric has quite the selection process for picking a wife
We learn at the beginning of the film that there is some pressure from the kingdom for
Prince Eric to get hitched, but not exactly the amount of pressure that would justify
his choosing to marry a girl that he's known less than 24 hours.
Sure, Ursula has Eric under a magic spell when she nearly tricks him into marrying her
alter-ego, Vanessa, but none of it really explains his mad dash to marry a 16-year-old
mermaid — good pipes or not.
Besides, doesn't the kingdom have some kind of policy against their crown prince marrying
random women that wash up on the beach?
King Triton isn't really the best king
We've already established that King Triton keeps slaves, so let's examine a few other
ways the sea king really lets his underwater citizens down.
First of all, there's that time when he destroys his daughter's most prized possessions, which
doesn't exactly make him the father of the year.
Then, we really need to face the fact that hundreds of his own merpeople have obviously
fallen prey to Ursula's magic, condemned to live for eternity in her shrunken-head garden
of unfortunate souls.
He's a super-ripped sea king with a giant, magic pitchfork.
He couldn't just spear Ursula himself, and set his mer-people free?
He doesn't seem to give a rip about what Ursula's up to until it affects his precious Ariel.
Two words for the merpeople of Atlantica: democratic elections.
The psycho chef
Aww…
Chef Louis, the charmingly sadistic chef.
He doesn't just love cooking "les poissons", he revels in their torture, killing, and dismemberment
as well.
Sebastian the crab has already narrowly escaped the chef's briny chamber of horrors, only
to encounter him again at Ariel and Eric's wedding.
The chef disrupts the nuptials by chasing Sebastian throughout the ship while violently
wielding a chef's knife, which he uses to completely eviscerate the eight-tier wedding
cake.
Who even invited this guy?
Somebody get that guy back on the carving station before he accidentally guts a bridesmaid.
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