Arin: Hey, I'm grump!
Danny: I'm not so grump!
Both: And we're the Game Grumps!
Arin: Hey, welcome to the black screen.
Danny: Well, this is fucking- ohhh (Arin: oh nonono)
Danny: Oh god, is that what it looks like? (Arin: Spoilers!)
Danny: oh no!
(Arin: Spoilers!) Danny: That was horrible looking! (Arin: Spoilers.) Oh my God.
Arin: I gotta go back to the- Hold on, I gotta get to the intro. Here we- oh god. (Danny: Oh, no) Wait, is this what's happening right now? (Danny: Yeah)
Danny: I think you're need to- (Arin: Is this the credits?) You need to hit reset ( Arin: oh Anna) Anna Roth.
(Arin: Oh Anna) Danny: Okay, so for anyone who doesn't know this is the this is the third and final
Danny: Zelda CdI game yet. Don't worry. We won't be making copies of it. (Arin: Yeah who would want to?)
Arin: Well I guess this came cost like $400 now
Danny: Yeah, thanks to someone- (Arin: God damn it, fucking, I know somebody sent it and I know who sent it.)
Arin: I just got to look it up. We'll put it in. Thank you *gurgled mumbling*.
Danny: *laughing*
(Arin: So thanks.) Danny: Thank you so much. (Arin: Thank you) um (Arin: We'll put it in. Did it just go to-what the fuck?)
Arin: Did it just reset the CDI because, like, didn't understand what was happening? (Danny: Did the CDI just reject the game?)
(Arin: Oh my fucking god.) Danny: This is the zelda game that the guy who made the other two zelda games for CDI
Danny: Said was so shitty he couldn't get through it. (Arin: Okay. So here we go.)
Arin: This is what I want. This is the intro. (Danny: This looks good.) Oh, it's good. It's good alright.
Danny: I mean, I feel like I'm really on a-*can opening sound*
Danny: What am I? What is this, a pile of shit? A pile of- (Arin: Like the mountain is a rocket ship...) Yes. Arin: Flying through the space.)
Danny: Welcome to Zelda's R adventure (Arin: This is great)
Both: *woah-ing in unison*
Danny: Boy, this is uh, one rough zoom in
Arin: Yeah, it's kind of like *weird noises from pits of hell*
Danny: Yeah, okay. We're right there now.
Danny: Oh shit, is it live action? (Arin: Yes, it is.) YES. (Arin: Oh yeah)
Arin:Who is this? This is like... Zelda's Uncle? (Danny: *old man voice* I am princess Zelda!)
Arin: *old man voice* Link, save me. (Danny: *laughing*)
Arin: *old man voice* I can't read
Arin: Gan-non
Arin: Oh god, it's clearly like a young dude doing an old man's voice. (Danny: totally)
*somewhat awful voice over of note on screen* Danny: Pause for laugh.
*shitty voice over*: A brave warrior must be found to face this evil monster! (Arin: That's not what it says)
Danny: Yeah, could they not program that in? (Arin: yeah) All right fine. (Arin: They've captured link!) Stop! Ohh
Danny: God
Arin: Dude, it's nice. It's good. (Danny: he doesn't even-)
Arin: Ohhh no. (Danny: what's happening?) They couldn't afford
Arin: *hiccup(?)* They couldn't afford to film the whole thing so...
(Arin: Mmm.) Danny: It barely fit over his or her wig
(Danny: What am I looking at right?) Arin: It's the guide crowning Zelda or so- I don't know
Arin: Give her the Magic- She's like it's heavy. It's choking me. (Danny: Every snowflake in hyrule is heavy as shit.)
Arin: When it snows it's like war was cast on us from the gods. (Danny: Oh God trust me. We've got nothing else to do. )
Danny: Make us wait as long as you need to. (Arin: All right all right here we go.)
Arin: Oh I got to create a- (Danny: Ah man. We missed the whole plot.) There's no fucking plot! (Danny:Okay just enter thy name) Link was captured by G-g-gan-
Arin: Gannon and then the old guy was like "oh Zelda take this pendant of power or some shit"
Arin: And that was it. (Danny: that's a hell of a 'Q'.) That is a 'Q'. Let's use it.
Arin: Uhh...qo
Arin: Qox...Qoxon...
Arin: Mafas
Danny: Well done Arin. (Arin: Qoxonmafase) *wholesome laughter*
Danny: You should be-BLARGH (Both: *laughing*)
Danny: You stabbed the name generator! (Arin: You've been murdered for horrible names!) Oh my God
Danny: What a absolutely-oh yeah. (Arin: I got to play as Qoxonmafase.) I'd rather- rather be one of the empties.
Arin: Hey, they had a lot of letters. I had to use-utilize the power that they bestow-ohhhhh
Danny: oh no!
Danny: It's so bad
Danny: It's so bad
Danny: Oh, I don't know if I could look at this for a whole series. (Arin: That that was the menu it took like an hour to...)
Arin: Load (Danny: Are you serious?)
Arin: Here we go-uh oh
Arin: Ohhh (Danny: *laughing*)
Arin: No
Arin: No (Danny: oh my God) Oh have mercy. (Danny: This is just brutal...can you interact with anything?) You mean like behind it?
Arin: It's just kind of like...
Arin: When am I going to come out? (Danny: Doo-d-d-doo-d-doo!)
Arin: There I am (Danny: *doo-dooing continues*)
(Danny: I guess I'll just add it in) Arin: If this was for the NES. If this is the first Zelta game that came out-AAA
Arin: Something or other. (Danny: Oh my God) Larries! (Danny: are you entering into battle mode? No, you're just...
Danny: ah fuck, I can't believe you've done this (Arin: wow I died)
(Arin: Holy shit, dude) Danny: back to ten minutes of the old man being like "oh my God"
Arin: *old man voice* Put this necklace on it'll protect you from nothing, literally nothing
Danny: Arin, I do not think what this can be anything more than a one-off. (Arin: What are you talking about?)
Arin: we have to finish this. (Danny: oh yeah, I'll-)
*eery voice* I have known you since you were a child
(Danny: Oh my god) a difficult challenge
You will have to go far and overcome- (Arin: to carry that fucking necklace)
use your knowledge and strength to defeat your enemy (Arin: uh-huh, what about a sword?) (Danny: this is halfway between..)
Danny: Zelda and the teletubbies game
Danny: duck goes quack
Arin: Uh-Huh?
(Arin: Thank you) Danny: quack quack quack *raspberry noise*
Arin: *teletubbies voice(?)* I made him drink gasoline
Danny: *teletubies voice gone wrong GONESEXUAL* I made him drink gasoline. I thought it would make him go faster.
Arin: There's no enemies. (Danny: Oh God.) Oh what am I supposed to do? I don't have anything. (Danny: Do you have any weapons?)
Arin: I don't have a single thing. I have the necklace.
Arin: What is with these giant fucking stone-ass stone rocks? (Danny: she said use your, uh...) My wits? (Danny: yeah)
Arin: What am I gonna? Do fucking- do math problems? (Danny: I don't know.) I mean- (Danny: what is that? What are THOSE?)
Arin: I don't know man. I'm trying to find a place where I can get a fucking sword
Arin: There's an old man in a cave going "oh it's dangerous"
Danny: Jesus. I can't believe- (Arin: because it is fucking dangerous. Got to load every screen for an hour) I can't believe that this is so much worse (Arin: ah god) then the other
Danny: Zeldas which were already two of the worst games we've ever played. (Arin: Is this it? Did I do it?)
Arin: Oh my God it- (Danny: cutscene.) No. I hit the inventory button. (Danny: oh shit) But I don't have any weapons!
Danny: No
Arin: So what am I supposed to do? Where am I supposed to get a weapon at?
Danny: I don't know Qoxonfase, figure it out. (Arin: Return to game)
Arin: I can do this, no, I can figure this out. Wait, oh, so exit is actually exit. It's not exit
Arin: the menu it's like exit the (Danny: game) whole experience. (Danny: Oh, well. If only it were that easy.) Oh boy. It's like hieroglyphics?
(Danny: Yeah)Arin: oh, cool-*both* OHHHHHHHHH
(Arin: Jesus) Danny: God this game could really use some music. (Arin: oh hey, mob went in) Oh good
Arin: Let's get that creepy eerie wind noise. (Danny: Yeah, it's very ambient.) We're covered in them
Danny: It's like the shit that like you go to sleep to, like white noise like oh, I'll choose- tonight I'll choose
Danny: oscillating fan
*disturbing voice* Zeldaaa (Danny: What?) it's wrong to roam Hyrule unprotected. Look nearby for something to aid you.
Danny: Honey bear, what do you think we're doing? (Arin: *laughing* honey bear?) I mean my God
Arin: Did I find it? No? I just found more heads. (Danny: Yeah, no, she doesn't want you going up any further)
Arin: Well where the fu- I feel like I've been everywhere! (Danny: you gotta-) AH! (Danny: oh my god)
Arin: Jesus Christ dude (Danny: Zeldaaa, Zeldaaa) I feel like there's...
Arin: No, I won't say it. (Danny: Go ahead.) No. I won't say it (Danny: Say it)
Arin: I'll say it later (Danny: really?) after- (Danny: You won't remember after- you're gonna leave the sacred pizza pie?!)
Arin: It's a trivial pursuit these days.
Arin: Well, I went all the directions though! (Danny: I'll choose movies and entertainment)
Arin: What game is the worst in the world?
Arin: I don't know. (Danny: you're living it) Is this it? That looks like a sword in the stone. (Danny: Yes, it does)
(Arin: Okay) Danny: Oh my goodness gracious. What year was this?
Arin: Uh...Nineteen twixt. (Danny: yeah) This game does not -I guess I'm stuck (Danny: this game exists outside of time.) Exactly! (Danny: Yeah, I agree)
Danny: There's no year in which this is acceptable. (Arin: Ohhhh)
Arin: God
Arin: What are those? (Danny: This is just like how games were in like the 70s)
Arin: This is how like people's visions of how games were in the 70s. Oh, the forest of de bam
Arin: Damn, de bam (Danny: that could say ogbam actually) da-ham? (Danny: that could say anything)
Arin: Da-ham (Danny: oh God you can't fight those things) Yeah, well, it'd be lovely if they game gave me a fucking sword. (Danny: You can barely fight the trees)
Danny: Right now. Ohhh. (Arin: What- what even are they? Visually? What the fuck is going on there?)
(Danny: How do they roar? they can't have any lungs) Arin: They look like something that you find in a weird Artisanal Bakery. (Danny: *laughing*)
Arin: And you're just like what is that? And they're like "Oh, it's passionfruit Dabam". (Danny: Yeah, we used all locally sourced salt.)
Arin: The salt that was grown in our trees. (Danny: Oh, oh) Oh.
*witch voice(?)* Tell you a great secret. (Arin: You got it) (Danny: Yeah, what could go wrong) (Arin: Let's hear your secret)
*that voice again* Hear me whisper? Trust no one with hair.
Arin: with... Hair????
*Voice* Don't even trust me! Haha!
(Arin: I don't...) I've stolen one of your lives! Ha!
Arin: I don- what? (Danny: yeah, wow) I don't even know what you are! (Danny: cool)
Arin: What even are you I can't even visually make you out? (Danny: Are you wearing a bandana?)
(Danny: Is that a Bandana?) Arin: Is she like crouching over is she like- (Danny: is it a she? It sounded like a she but...)
Danny: But that could be truly anything (Arin: They like-they actually)
Arin: Rigged up-well alright (Danny: Okay)
Arin: Well, they actually rigged up a bird's-eye camera, and then like took pictures of actors. Little do they know
Arin: Actual top-down view of people does not really read very well. (Danny: yeah, especially when they're digitized to shit.)
Arin: Oh my God, alright. Well I gotta figure out where the fuckin-where the fuck this sword is.
Danny: Zelda
Danny: Zelda, you're stuck in a crappy game Zelda
Danny: What are you gonna do to get out? (Arin: Is this it? Did it find it?)
Arin: Is this the sword?
Arin: Nope
(Danny: Wow) Arin: I don't fucking know, I don't know where to fucking go. Okay, so the thing
Arin: I was going to say is we should probably, from the goddamn get go, get a fucking walkthrough
Danny: Yeah, what- why- why would you wait to say that that like I'm reaching for my phone as we speak- (Arin: I thought it- it would be funny for-ohhh)
Arin: Here we go! (Danny: Ohhh shit)
Danny: Five-hundred?! (Arin: I don't have any money!)
(Arin: Shut the fuck up) Danny: Just look around I'm sure you'll find a hundred dollars lying on the forest floor
Arin: Maybe you could kill some moblins with a sword. (Danny: With your silly little...)
(Danny: Zelda Hands) Arin: alright. Give me give me a walkthrough. (Danny: What the hell is this game called?) It's called Zelda's adventure
(Danny: Zelda's Adventure Walkthrough) Arin: not to be confused with the adventures of Link. Oh
Arin: Yeah, which is an actual Zelda game that a lot of people don't like but you love (Danny: oh, Zelda 2?)
Danny: Yeah, it's terrific. I had a lot of fun with that
(Danny: Well) Arin: That was before-man, when Zelda 2 came out that was before like
Arin: Sequels in video games existed (Danny: yeah) so that was just kind of like well
Arin: What do we do? We already made that game. We got to make a different game now. (Danny: Yeah, it was really a departure)
Danny: Which was why people like weren't super into it. (Arin: Yeah)
Arin: Well I mean that's such a no-brainer though
Arin: It's like we'll just make the same game, but like with some extra shit in it, and then that's the sequel
Danny: Oh my God
Arin: And that's an update, that what people would say. That's an update that's on the- fuckin that's zelda 1.5. As will. They say
Arin: Fucking complainers th-the sally complainers out there. Oh, God
Arin: Not that I'm one of them. I never complain
(Danny: Absolutely not) Arin: Especially not on
publicly viewed shows. (Danny: oh my God this-)
Danny: Faq is so long-winded (Arin: yeah, well)
Danny: it's like taking me through the entire introductory scene. Like all their dialogue, like I heard that, that's the one thing I understood
Arin: Barely (Danny: yeah, oh my God) Was it like "if you name yourself Qoxonmafase
Arin: You actually won't be able to get the sword." It's impossible
Arin: What the hell is happening here? Is the game glitching or is this their idea of graphics?
Arin: I Can't I can't I (Danny: I can't) can't I can't, I can't even I can't even understand how people would be like "this is okay"
Danny: It's not-who said this is okay? (Arin: Well, whoever shipped it!) Ohh
Arin: Wouldn't you think- I mean I guess they if they sunk like...
Arin: Hundreds of thousands of dollars into it then they're like well, we got to ship something (Danny: someone paid...)
Danny: $400 for this (Arin: yeah) like no.
Arin: And I'm glad it wasn't me. (Danny: wow) The price tag on this game was actually like three hundred and forty six dollars
(Danny: Yeesh) Arin: That's how much this game is worth because it's so rare
Arin: But who would want to play it? Zero people-I fucking hit the inventory button on accident. Where do I go, Dan?
(Danny: I dude-) Arin: You've been sucking down a walkthrough for like three hours over there!
(Arin: It feels like.) Danny: You want to hear what I'm looking at? (Arin: JESUS) I mean, this is a kind of thing that's in this walkthrough
Danny: The design of my CDI controller is very similar-(Arin: Oh here it is, to the right) Oh my *laughing*
Arin: How did I not go to the right?
Arin: How is that not the one direction I went? (Danny: *choking in the background*
Arin: I'm fuckin-come on man! Like seriously?
Danny: There you go (Arin: I'm getting'em!) This is terrible. (Arin: Look at these vertical scanlines. The hell is going on man?)
Danny: Is that a rupee? Is that what rupees look like? (Arin: I guess so)
(Danny: Yeesh) Arin: And it makes the sound of mancala beads dropping into a bowl
Danny: Oh, god
(Danny: Oh dear.) Arin: Just no, there's just no-no (Danny: No sound) No excitement. There's no *laughing*
Danny: there's no anything! (Arin: This is just the...)
Arin: What it is
Arin: Alright, so where do I go now Dan? (Danny: I don't know dude -I don't know all of these walk throughs oh)
(Danny: What?) *voice* a traveler of kind intentions has found me at last.
Danny: Did they...
Danny: Did they just find people in the office, like around the studio to do the voices for this? (Arin: Yeah)
Danny: Like Sherry the secretary would you please come in voice this woman? "I'm starving and I'm thirsty"
Danny: Thank you, Sherry. That's good enough (Arin: *laughs*
Arin: Thank you, Sherry. That was horrible, but we got it so (Danny: Yeah. Yeah) we're gonna ship. Oh God what?
Person in game: Oh fair princess pity a
suffering creature exiled
from great *garbled town name* in the north
*voice* I ask only enough for a single meal for my children who hunger and are chilled by the wind
Danny: All right Sherry that'll do too - we only need you to voice 12 more characters
Arin: Wha-*whining noises*
Danny: Oh god. Hold on
Arin: Don't feel-
Danny: ah
Arin: Treasures there we go
(Arin: I've equipped the treasure.) Danny: Excuse me I have a bit of a a bit of a runny nose and this game
Danny: I think is making me sicker
Arin: Okay, I can't take the water from the Lake
Arin: to give to the lady
Arin: So it's fine
(Danny: Everything's fine.) Oh- is that Pac-man over there? (*another voice*: head in my princess you look dry [wtf bruh])
Have a cup of endor cider on the house
(Danny: You look dry?) calm the cells, but it will cost you 100 rupees. (Arin: I don't have 100 rupees)
Danny: You look like a dried-up hag
*a female (?) voice* Sit a moment
It is said those who go deep into the earth learn to overcome the sins of greed that may be true
but I do know this a
Candle and a silver key can bring you bliss. (Danny: Hey hey hey)
Danny: It's fat Albert!
*voice* Times a wasting
Arin: This is such a fucking like- like 80s cartoon cadence. (Danny: Yeah here we are, at this place!)
(Danny: Gibbity-gabbity-goo!) *worn out voice* When you Spend you whole lifetime defeated like me. Get it over with, quit, go home, give up.
Danny: Wow dude
Voice in game: I Can see you're not one to Surrender. All right take this dagger. (Danny: Oh, God that's horrible)
(Arin: What the-woah!) Danny: He gave you a fucking Sythe? (Arin: Sweet, I'm like Raphael) Awesome. (Danny: Yeah, just like that.)
*worn voice again* I'm so exhausted from my travels, if only I had known to cross the chasm with the ladder
It would have saved me months
Danny: you know-you (Arin: Months? Really?) know I really- I think it's the faces of these characters that really let me into their world and
Danny: Help me connect with them emotionally. (Arin: I feel their plight. You know let's just you just read the emotion-) oh my God.
Danny: You know what fucking next time on Game Grumps alright, if we're doing this then we really have to
Danny: Really got to commit to it. (Arin: We're doing it all the way dude.) We are not- (Arin: going all the way) I will not make it
(Arin: Oh, yeah) Danny: But we could definitely do like seven episodes of this. (Arin: Okay)
Danny: God help us. (Arin: Here we go) Bye~
Arin: Oh creature, magic creature *trails off*
Danny: All you Zelda fans out there... loving this? (Arin: Oh yeah, they love it.)
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