Hi! In one of my videos I was talking about inappropriate questions that trans people are often asked.
Today I want to shine some light on one of these questions, more specifically "How is your sex life?"
This video is highly unrecommended for those who are really amused by the different names of reproductive organs. Please, go away and do your homework.
To people who are highly moral: don`t judge me. I am on your side: by sharing these kind of personal revelations I am trying to fight with the ignorance that is amoral on its own.
But if for you the sex topic is forbidden, you better skip this video.
So, why am I going to talk about such an intimate topic? I want to make my own contribution in the sex representation for trans people. I will also talk about it a bit more in the end of the video.
In short terms, I am tired of trans people being afraid of their own body and the topic of sexual relationships causing panic. And unfortunately I can understand this panic: I know where it comes from.
Not hard to guess: fallocentric cult in the society plus stupid immature people. TO be honest, this video is going to be some kind of an appeal to uneducated cisgenders.
Let me explain some important things, answer the most tempting question about sex and you in your turn, will promise to listen attentively and think in advance before asking a trans person a rude question or weirdly joke. Okay?
By the way, if you are an adequate cisgender who is competent in this topic, please don`t take my words close to heart. I have to face the stupidity very often and I think you understand that I am tired.
So, let me remind you: I am a trans guy and I am gay. Well, I can tell that for sure… I am more of a pansexual. So anyways, I prefer men.
So, I am trans-mlm and two years on T, post op, I only did the top surgery, but none of the bottom surgeries.
And what can I say about sex? Shit, I absolutely love it.
I am starting with this statement to refute the popular myth that all trans people have problems with the acceptance of their own body and therefore with sexual relationships.
Well, no. Nope. I personally do not have any problems at all, even oppositely. Possibly, that is one of the main reasons I am recording this right now.
When you are talking about trans and homosexuality, what do uneducated people pay attention to?
Well done: to the contents of your underwear and how the person uses the contents.
I am so sincerely tired of the fact that people care about the genitals of the random person and where this person wants to put them in.
Although I understand the origins of this interest: while acknowledging something new, we pay attention to the differences of the topic compared to our usual perception of the world.
By the way, don`t think that if this interest is logical and explainable, than you can easily ask someone rude questions. You can do that if you are an asshole. But I am sure you are not, so let`s move on.
So, while people that are uneducated in the topic can somehow get everything together with homosexuality (thanks to the civilization and education) they end up in the dead end with the topic of transsexuality.
And today I am here, specifically for you, my little curious friends, to answer two most important of your questions: what is there in trasmen's pants and what do they do with sex?
One more time: I am speaking on my own behalf and I am not a specific rare representative of transmen. If my experience is not the same with yours, well, it happens, the world is big and different.
So, the most popular question in my transsexual life : "What do you have THERE?.."
In translation to normal language, "there" is the genitals.
Well, let me think. I have XX chromosomes i.e "female" (FYI the hormone therapy does not change the chromosome set) And I didn`t do any of the bottom surgeries.
So, a counter question arises to all who were so interested: what genitals might I have then?
I do have the uterus, ovaries, vagina, clitoris, what else. The full set of organs that is identified by XX chromosomes.
I am a man and I have a uterus. Does it make me less manly? Let me think… No.
And ovaries? Do they affect my gender? Also no.
And I also have a vagina. Does it embarrass me? No. Why would my body even have to embarrass me?
Sometimes I hear something like "how can you be a guy with a vagina?" or "no dick – not a man"
Really, guys, seriously - without any excuses, so if in your understanding the biggest part of you is identified by the dick or a vagina, I have some very v e r y bad news for you.
If you think you are a man just because you have something hanging between your legs, it is just … sad. But I am not the one to judge.
We, people, are composed of blood and flesh. Although we are different from other creatures because we are self-conscious. Do what you want but I place my mind higher than the body.
But I will address the social topics quite a lot in the future and now lets go back to the body and sex.
So, how do trans men have sex? The answer might surprise or even shock you. Are you ready? Good.
We do it the SAME WAY ALL PEOPLE ON THIS FREAKING PLANET.
If the question "how do people have sex?" has the answer "well, the dick is put into the vagina" it is the wrong answer. It is an answer for the question "how does the dick end up in the vagina" but not to the question about sex.
Because sex is not single sided. Sex is fucking art.
The number of sexual orientations, the variety of kinks and the variability of the sensitive places are showing that sex is a complicated process.
Like, insemination is a straightforward, simple (there are variants even here) process. While sex is a witty construction. Do you understand where I am heading?
I am recording the video and I feel the agony of people who don't want to listen to all the philosophical stuff,
and who just want to know if trans guys use the vagina during sex. I won't torture you and I will answer.
I have no clue.
I have never been entitled to survey hundreds of thousands of people about what they prefer to do with their genitals.
Someone prefers the vaginal sex, someone prefer anal, or oral or just petting or the absence of sex.
I am just trying to convey it because the question about sex is incorrect by two reasons: 1. It is not very ethical. 2. It is pointless.
Because not all people with female reproductive system use the vagina. Because not all people with male reproductive system use the penis.
Just deal with it. Sex is not the dick and the vagina. Sex is a complicated system with many elements.
What about me… I apologize if someone is not interested, but I am sure that there are people watching it that are not going to sleep if they don`t get the answer.
So yeah, concerning myself, I don`t like vaginal sex. I don`t understand those feelings.
I don't think it is a big loss: I have other ways of revealing the sexual desires, and I am not at all complaining.
Once I was told by someone that women can not have the physical pleasure from the anal sex, and [untranslatable Russian joke].
Well, speaking like a person with female reproductive system, let me say "hi" to everyone who supports the theory and let me laugh at your face.
At the same time there are loads of trans men preferring vaginal stimulation. And others like all the ways of getting the pleasure and they are using their body in every way.
Also there are asexual trans people.
There are a lot of different people, that is what is important to understand.
Something important: vaginal sex does not make a trans guy less masculine. How can anyone even have those thoughts?
How is this connected? It is just the body. It is just a way to get a pleasure.
I am talking about it because I have seen the posts about the growing dysphoria during the vaginal stimulation, especially if talking about sex with a cisgender man.
Guys, no. Sexual preferences don`t make you less masculine. Get the pleasures, enjoy your body, explore it.
You know who you truly are and no things or preferences should affect your confidence.
And one more intimate aspect: I have met people that thought that trans gays can only bottom. No, that is not true. Why would it?
I can foresee how someone wants to ask "how is it without a dick what is going on what put in where whAT IS HAPPENING"
Well, let me be rude and answer with a question: what century do we even live in? So you think that people have been to the moon, but haven`t invented a longish thing that looks like a penis and the way to attach it?
There is an enormous number of sexual devices. Including (again guessing the next question) there are devices that are capable of satisfying not only the partner but the user as well.
It is the vibrating things and double dildos, and everything in the world. Go inside a sex shop and enjoy.
Well, let me sum this all up: 1. The genitals do not identify who you are. It is something that people don`t chose, don`t achieve and therefore it is a pointless argument.
2. The majority of trans people have access to sex and orgasm! I'm saying "the majority" because I am not well-versed in topics on phalloplasty for t*men and vaginoplasty for t*women. It's not up to me.
3. Trans people may have any possible sexual orientation, to bottom, to top, to be by the side, in a diagonal – it all works just as it does for the cisgenders.
4. The sex is different as are people.
A little word to the asexuals: guys don`t think that I am considering your problems that you are facing as irrelevant. But I decided to dedicate this video specifically to the sex positivity and hope you understand me.
And now I would like to go back to what I was saying in the beginning of the video.
I was going around this idea of dedicating the video to the topic of sex representation for trans people for quite a long time. Maybe for half a year or even longer. At the very last, I was facing all the posts where people were complaining about the lack of the content.
And when I saw around three posts in a row, I understood that it was a sign.
To be honest, there is quite a small amount of it. Good that it is even there – photos, videos, fanfiction – however, firstly, that is not enough, secondly, this kind of existing content is not all high quality: you can come across incorrect or inconsistent exemplars.
The absence of the material causes the absence of comfort. It is very ruinously because often trans people have nowhere to go, no one to talk about their sexuality. I can vividly understand the feeling. It's terrible, especially if the physical contact is important for you.
The understanding of your own sexuality is one of the elements of the deep self-awareness. And if even a lot of cisgenders are experiencing some problems with it, what to say about transgenders.
That is why I didn't just want, I felt obliged to do at least something for the representation of trans people sexuality. And now I am aware that one video is not enough, so I will talk about sex, trans attractiveness more and more.
And if you have any questions or ideas, be confident to contact me via email or how you want to – all the links in the description.
By the way, I know there is lots of this kind of content on tumblr, but i haven't seen anything like that on vk. I mean a blog dedicated to specifically sexual represebtation.
And if by any chance you are into the theme (like really into it, not just randomly) if you have time and if you actually want to do it, i would be really grateful for creating this kind of space in russian speaking network. I think, it's really awesome.
The parting words: dear trans brothers and trans sisters, your bodies are fabulous, they deserve the gentlest hugs and the most careful bearing, that is why, love yourselves.
You are awesome and if you start to treat your body as a treasure, if you start to explore it, I promise, at some point you will wake up with an unforgettable sense of love and freedom.
And lastly for the cisgenders: I hope I have answered if not all, than at least the majority of your questions. But even more I hope that you guys did your best and you actually listened to me and got my explanations.
I am not judging the curiosity, but I do judge the ignorance.
One thing is being interested in something, the other thing is putting other people in an uncomfortable situation with your questions, triggering and bothering others. Please, think before saying something.
If you offended the person the phrase "I did not know" is not an excuse. Lack of knowledge does not free from the responsibility.
And if you really need to know about the sex, the underwear and other things of that kind, please in the name of all holy, better ask me, and don`t bother the others.
I have been through the oceans of shit and literally nothing can offend me but you can offend another person.
Better bother me. Even better if you don`t bother anyone and we all will live in a world where we try to understand each other.
That is all for today. Thanks for your attention! Bye!
For more infomation >> {AMV SASUSAKU} I HAVE QUESTIONS - Duration: 1:44. 
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